Changing Tracks
by Kate N. Golsby
Summary: Is Beckett about to lose the love of her life because of her own insecurities? When a serial killer targets celebrities dating those the killer perceives as below them, the FBI need Castle's help. Will this herald the end?
1. Insecurities

**Changing Tracks**

Disclaimer: I do not own anything associated with 'Castle' or ABC studios.

Authors notes: This is my first fan fiction that is to be published, ever. Please R&R.

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**Chapter 1: **_'Insecurities'_

Richard Castle entered the bull pen carrying two coffees and a bear claw pastry, Detective Kate Beckett's which was in no way a coincidence. He placed one of the coffees on her desk in front of her with the bear claw, as he did every morning. He was rewarded with a quick smile from Beckett and then sat quietly watching her as she filled out paper work on the case they had just closed the day before.

"Castle, I've asked you not to do that! It's creepy!"

"But, Detective, I like watching you do paper work. You get this cute little dimple like furrow on your brow. It's really quite adorable."

"If you use the words 'cute' or 'adorable' when describing me, ever again, you will be eating your meals throw a straw. Understood?"

He had to suppress a laugh at the deceptively sweet smile on her face as she spoke. "But, Detective, It was a compliment," A cheeky smile that she had only seen on Castle crept onto his face. "Besides, you won't let me tell you that your stunning or anything else really. What am I left with? How's a man supposed to get a woman to take him seriously if he's not allowed to tell her what he really thinks?"

"Here's a hint, stop trying!"

"You wound me, Detective. I don't plan on stopping until you agree to go on a date with me, just one…At least."

She rolled her eyes the way she always did when he tried to make any advances, serious or not. "Fine."

"You mean you'll do it? You'll actually go on a date with me?" He had a moment of hope. He had been trying for two and a half years now and despite his family's enthusiasm for the Detective even they had begun to suggest he date someone else and put his feelings for Beckett behind him. He had become somewhat depressive at home and it had only gotten worse with each subsequent rejection.

"No! I will not go on a date with you. 'Fine', as in keep trying if you want, you're only wasting your time and energy. It'll never happen."

By now Castle had become an expert at hiding his disappointment. The only people who had learnt to see throw his disguises were his mother, daughter and despite his best efforts, himself. At least they were the only ones he knew about. He put on a cheeky smile and continued in a calm voice, "Well, if it's so engraved in stone that my attempts must fail, then I suppose I should stop trying, as you say."

He stood and began to walk towards the door when she called to him, "That reverse psychology crap doesn't work on me any more than false flattery. Don't expect me to chase you, Castle!" In her moment of uncertainty she had forgotten that the squad room was full and likewise not noticed that his daughter had just entered the bull pen. "I was fine before you started stalking me and I'll be over the moon when you stop. Regardless of the reason" That's when she saw the mortified look on Alexis' face and realized, all too late, what she had just done and that Alexis of all people had seen it. She began in a whisper, "Castle, I'…"

Castle silenced her with an upraised hand, the universal gesture for 'haven't you said quite enough?' He then turned to his daughter and said, "Wait for me by the elevator, Alexis". The entire room was silent except for the click of Alexis Castle's heels as she did what she was told. The air was so thick with tension as he waited for her to be well out of earshot of what he was about to say that it could almost be cut with a knife. When he finally spoke it was with a smile that everyone could see was forced and in such an indifferent tone that Beckett's own heart broke at the pain she knew he was hiding.

"_Detective_ Beckett," her title dripped from his tongue with venom, "I assure you, I was not trying to manipulate you. Nor did I realize that you no longer enjoyed my company and were eagerly awaiting my departure. I suppose you never really did and given the implications of your last statement, I assume that you only said you wanted me to stay out of some unwanted pity." She again attempted to apologize but he again waved her off. "You do not owe me anything, _Detective_. I was not going to say anything, yet, but for the sake of maintaining our working relationship, I will. I am nearing the end of the last Nikki Heat novel contracted. As it bothers you so much, I promise that I will not do another. Thank you for your honesty and patience, Detective.I will be out of your hair in no time and I will not bother you again." Beckett was stunned and couldn't bring herself to consciously blink, let alone speak. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a lunch date with my daughter." He didn't wait for a reply, he just walked out.

Beckett sat silently, watching the exit Castle had used and replaying their entire exchange in her head. 'Why did his seeming acceptance of defeat and his walking away bother her so? Why did the declaration that he was finished leave a bitter taste in her mouth?' She hated herself for the answer.

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**Chapter 2: **Will be up soon.**  
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	2. Brown Paper Packages Tied Up With String

Disclaimer: I still don't own anything of 'Castle'.

**Chapter 2:** _'Brown Paper Packages tied up with strings'_

Alexis walked silently beside her father, still unsure of what she had witnessed in the bull pen and even less certain of what to say to the man who usually had all the answers. Not wanting to say the wrong thing she said nothing at all, but hoped he would talk soon, she desperately needed him to clarify things for her.

Sensing his daughter's hesitation (it wasn't hard as she usually talked about anything and everything, well, to him at least, her silence gave her distress away), he knew he had to talk about it, though he really didn't want to. He didn't even understand it yet.

"Alexis…about what happened at the precinct…"

"You don't have to explain it to me, Dad. It's between you and Beckett." Even as she said it inside she was screaming for him to make it make sense. She needed him to do what he always did, make everything better.

"No, it's not. When she said what she said in front of you and everyone else she made it a very public topic, up for debate by anyone. I'm sorry you had to see that. Besides, I don't like keeping things from you. You and your Grams are all that I've got." He wrapped his arm around her shoulder and pulled her closer to him. "I don't want anything to ever come between us. You're my whole world, Alexis, you have been since the day your mother told me she was pregnant, and always will be."

"I love you, Dad."

He leaned down and kissed the top of her head, "I love you too, Pumpkin." He led her into the little dinner they had been going to since she was little. He steered her into their usual booth, which he was glad to see was empty. They ordered their usual, burgers and shakes. "Okay, so here it goes, are you ready?"

"Fire away."

"Well, it really started a few weeks ago. That was one case I wish I'd missed…"

_***(Flashback)***_

The '007' theme was barely audible over the boisterous laughter that filled Castle's apartment. It was Friday night and he almost felt he was robbing his poker buddies, almost being the key word. He was having too much fun to associate such a negative word to his activities. Had he not recognised the customised tone that told him it was Beckett calling he would have ignored it. He had chosen the ring tone as a subtle testament to how much he valued her in his life, after all, he _had_ given up his dream shot to continue following her. Though he would argue that it was all his agent's doing.

"Why, hello, Detective" He couldn't keep the grin from infiltrating his voice.

"Castle,"_ Such a boring greeting,_ he thought. "We've got a body."

"Can't you ever just call to hear the sound of my undeniably sexy voice?" He tried to sound serious, he really did, but he was in too good a mood.

"In your dreams, Castle. Are you coming or what?"

"Where do you want me?" The double meaning wasn't lost on either of them, but she chose to ignore it and gave him the address before hanging up.

Castle excused himself from the game and took off to the crime scene. Of course, he made sure he took his winnings; he enjoyed acquiring it too much.

It was half an hour later when he arrived at the scene. Beckett was just pulling up a little further down the street. He waited at the door for her and they walked up to the third floor apartment side by side. "You're in a sickeningly good mood for someone who left a poker game for a crime scene. Were you losing?" A sinister smile touched her lips and he was again reminded of the power she had over him as his heart beat faster, wanting to take flight, as it did every time he saw her smile.

"Ouch! Detective you wound me," His own smile got brighter as she rolled her eyes. "Actually I was taking them for all they were worth and your call saved me from the inevitable boredom that comes whenever Bob remembers he can fold."

As they crossed the threshold of the apartment entryway Esposito approached them, looking as serious as ever. Castle had to stifle a laugh at how well Detectives Ryan and Esposito complimented each other; their dispositions balanced together. "The perp. left this," he held up a non-descript parcel wrapped in brown paper and tied up with string. "It's why we got called in for this one." Catching their impatient glares he would have laughed at how they had rubbed off on each other, that is, if he had been in any kind of good mood. He wasn't though and he knew none of them would be until this S.O.B. was caught and rotting behind bars, so he continued, "It seems someone really wanted your attention."

Both Beckett and Castle looked closer and sure enough, up in the top right hand corner, written in small, precise print were the words; _'Attn: Richard Henry Castle, Novelist.'_ Before Castle could process what that meant for this case or himself, Beckett took control of the situation in true Beckett style. That was to say she cut off all emotion and went into all out cop-mode. "Has it been cleared?"

"Yeah, it's not a bomb, nor are there any signs of powders or anything else harmful." He handed it to Castle, "Open it up, man."

Castle looked to Beckett but didn't find the comfort he was looking for. Her eyes actually looked cold and distant, but that didn't make sense to him, she had been joking around only moment earlier. He couldn't think of anything which would have caused her to shut him out since they arrived at the scene. Then again, she had been looking for reasons to clam up on him of late, anything would do. She didn't discriminate when it gave her the chance to hide how she felt about him. She knew it and he suspected it but it was so engrained in her by now that she couldn't stop.

Castle sighed heavily. If he had been a religious man he would have prayed that who ever had checked the parcel hadn't missed something. As he slipped his thumb under the string at the bottom end, he thought of Alexis and how desperately he wanted to see her wedding day, to see his grandchildren born, and, more significantly, he smiled at the realisation, to have the chance to threaten who ever was lucky enough to catch his daughter's heart and make those other dreams a reality with unending, unimaginable pain should he ever cause a tear to fall from her loving eyes. He held his fear at bay and pulled the wrapping open.

_**To be continued…**_

Author's notes:

During the typing of Chapter 2 – Changing Tracks

Holly: "You really have a thing for customised ring tones, don't you?"

Me: "Yeah, cause I can't get them to work on my *expletive* phone!"

We both break out into hysterical laughter and work comes to a complete halt for a few minutes. (I just wanted to share this moment with you.)

Oh, and my Sticky Tape dispenser is trying to kill me.


	3. The Bloody Truth

**Chapter 3:** _'The Bloody Truth'_

_Disclaimer: I don't own anything to do with 'Castle'._

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Castle stood still, his eyes closed tight, waiting to feel the sudden tearing away of his limbs and the sensation of intense heat ripping his flesh clean off of his bones. Though he didn't know it, how could he, his eyes were closed, Beckett had bunched every muscle in her body ready to leap across the distance between them to shield his body with her own had a single wire or cord reared up to threaten the man she had come to care about.

He was her partner after all, and every cop cares about their partners well being. He was her responsibility. Her desire to protect him was purely professional and had nothing to do with those pesky butterflies that she felt fluttering in her stomach every time his hand brushed against hers when handing her a coffee or when in Lanie's lab she turned to find him in her personal space, his nose inches from his own or when ever he looked at her in the way only he had. It was a mixture of curiosity, fascination, respect, and dare she even think it… love? She knew he only looked at her like that when he thought she was too engrossed in what she was doing to notice but how could she not? She could feel his penetrating blue eyes searching deeper into her very being then anyone had ever tried to go. It terrified her but it was a terror which she found herself craving, it was a feeling that meant that he still cared and which signified the hope of her one day breaking free of the barriers she herself had erected.

However, what was now plainly visible in Castle's hands was not a bomb. As the realization that he was not seconds from death dawned on the author he opened his eyes to find perhaps the last thing he had expected the killer to leave him. A brand new copy of _'Heat Wave'_, the first book in the Nikki Heat series, glared up at him.

"Why would our killer give me a copy of my own book?"

Beckett, embarrassed by the smirk on Esposito's face that told her he knew what she had been prepared to do, replied a little snappier than she had intended. "There's a book mark castle. Do you think that maybe he's telling you something?" _Okay, so it was a lot snappier than intended, but the guy had asked a silly question… Surely he didn't expect a pat on the back for that? Then again, he had just thought he was going to die a painful death. So it was uncalled for, but he would bounce back, more excitable than before…he always did. The man is like a virus, if you don't kill it, it will grow back ten-times stronger. Okay, so he was a lovable virus…Argh, did she just think of Castle as lovable?!_ Something was happening to her and she didn't understand it. Kate Beckett didn't like what she couldn't understand.

He winced visibly at her tone but did what he knew she wanted. He opened to the marked page and written at the bottom of 36 and 37, in the same hand writing as the address on the parcel was a note; _'Richard, I'm disappointed in you. You had all the facts, but you didn't use them. The truth will set you free. Lies only lead to bondage. I will set you free Richard. I will bring the Truth to Light.'_ Castle didn't even need to read the text above. He knew these pages almost by heart despite the time that had passed since the release of Heat Wave and the Nikki Heat books he had written since then. He had spent days agonizing over this section, thinking of what to put in, what to leave out, and the possible consequences of each word. It was the murder scene of Nikki Heat's mother and things began to fall into place. Hints seemed like glaring neon signs and he suddenly knew that this was going to be the longest, most draining case of his time as an NYPD consultant.

Castle was violently torn from his musings when Beckett's hand clasped around the book and began to pry it from his hands. He didn't know why, but he couldn't bring himself to let her take it from him. He tightened his grip and pulled it further away from her. If a glare could kill, the one Beckett gave him then would have been the cause of Richard Castle's death. "Beckett, don't take this case. Please just walk away now. I'll follow someone else for a while, and you can go back to the precinct and have things the way they were before I came along. Just please turn around and walk away from this one." He was pleading, begging and how ever pathetic he felt doing that on a serious occasion he would have done anything for her to do what he asked. The problem was that all Beckett heard was _'Beckett don't…'_, and nobody other than her superiors in the force told Kate Beckett what she could and could not do. Castle felt his heart drop when she turned and silently walked right into one of her nightmares.

Castle had been right and he knew so without a doubt when he followed Beckett into the master bedroom and saw the very thing he hoped would not be waiting for them. This was one of those rare occasions that had Castle wishing he had been wrong.

Crumpled in a heap on the floor, crimson blood pooling around her contorted body was a woman dressed for an evening out, terror written all over her pale face. Castle felt his stomach heave but got control of himself before he vomited all over the crime scene. A note lay beside the body, spotted with blood, it read; _'Say hello to Johanna, Richard. She was smart… no night time strolls alone for her, but then again, that's a moot point. It all ends the same anyway.'_

Castle looked to Beckett, she looked as sick as he felt, which meant she was really much worse. Castle was aware of Esposito standing beside him and Ryan walking towards them. He had been speaking with the husband who had found the victim but Castle's eyes didn't leave Beckett. He could see she was re-erecting all the barriers he had spent so long breaking down. He wasn't surprised though, he was well aware that even he was building barriers around his own heart to ward off the pain he knew was coming from this one.

_**To be continued...**_

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I'd like to thank all of you who have stuck with me on this story so far and a big thank you to those of you who have taken the time to review what you've read. I love the feedback. I really enjoy discussing my story and the TV series 'Castle' with you all and am happy to just converse with anyone about 'Castle' and my take on the story and characters that we all love. So if you feel like a chat PM me or find me on Face Book under Eliza Beth Cashman. Please continue to R&R. Eliza.


	4. A Painful Necessity

**Disclaimer: **I do not own 'Castle' or it's characters.

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**Chapter 4:** _'A Painful Necessity'_

*****(Present Day)*****

Castle was about to describe the scene he had encountered in that bedroom but remembered just in time that he was talking to his daughter. She may not have been a child anymore but there was no way he was going to tell her the details of a case that had even the hardened detectives of the 12th precinct feeling ill.

"Without the gory details, all you need to know is that the victim was killed the same way as Beckett's mother, they shared a first name and both had a daughter in college when they were killed. There were two more murders based on my Nikki Heat books, as you know. Needless to say, it was hard on us all, especially when we found out the guy doing it was a uniform from the 12th. He lost his wife to one of the guys Beckett put away last year. It seems as though he lost it and decided someone had to pay the price for his pain, and since we got to the guy responsible before he had the chance, we copped the bill.

"I'm sure you noticed, but none of us slept much. We all got snappy and said things we didn't mean, but I thought that was long behind us. I even tried to be extra nice to make up for having not stayed in the car and punching the guy in the face." The look on Alexis' face reminded him of how little he had shared with her during the case. "He was sneaking up on Beckett, I knew he didn't just want to give her a hug and say hi, so I decked him. She was upset that he could have been armed. When will she realize that I am not _completely_ defenseless?" Alexis just raised her eyebrow at him and he let that one go. "Anyway, my point is that she has been really cold and distant since the book thing. Sure, we have always had our little play fights and occasionally even real ones but I have always been able to see where she was coming from and she has never said anything to deliberately hurt me before. Back at the station, that was just…"

"Cruel?" Alexis provided and Castle could only nod. He felt the tears gathering in his eyes. "Dad…I love Beckett as much as the next person, she's basically family…but, please, let her go. You can still help on cases and play poker and hang out with the boys, but I'm begging you, for yourself as much as for me, find someone else, someone who will love you the way you deserve to be loved…I hate seeing you like this…I'm going to college soon, and I won't be able to bring myself to go if that means leaving you here like this."

He hated that she was right but he loved her for it. He knew that he had to make one thing clear though. "I don't know how you got to be so smart and wise. I want you to make the best of that. I'll do what I can, Pumpkin, but regardless of what is happening in my life I want you to go to college and live a full and happy life. Don't let anything get in the way of your happiness." With that said he decided to lighten the mood a little, "Besides, you raised me as well as you can, you'll have to let me go one day." hey both laughed at the reference to their family joke.

With the mood now palpably lighter, and Castle unwilling to discuss his feelings for Beckett and the events of that morning any further than they already had, he changed the subject, not very subtly, but he knew he would never get it past Alexis, even if he tried. Alexis respected his need to think it through enough to let him change topics without a comment.

"So, the fencing competition…It's this Saturday right?"

"Yeah, I want to be there by eight, that way I can see what I'm up against." Castle smiled.

"That's my girl! Identify their weaknesses and exploit them." He knew that was only part of the reason she wanted to be there early, one of her best friends was scheduled to compete in the first few rounds and she wanted to be there to support her. He was proud of her for so many reasons, but he had to admit, he cherished her loyalty above all of her achievements. He spent every moment of her childhood hoping that she wouldn't turn out like her mother, in it for number one, and her she was, proving that she wasn't once again. Alexis knew he knew her reasons, despite his words and felt a glow inside at the pride in his voice. He always told her how proud he was of her and how much he loved her but she still loved hearing it, whether he came out and said it or, like now, it was in his voice and written all over his face.

They spent their lunch hour talking about her practice schedule and discussing good strategies to by-pass her opponent's defenses. Alexis listened intently to her father. Most people didn't know it, but he had been trained by one of the best. He had been the undefeated champion until Meredith gave birth and decided Castle should stay home and look after Alexis while she went shopping and continued working. Castle didn't know, but Alexis was painfully aware that her mother had planned on having an abortion and only carried Alexis to term because Castle promised top take on sole responsibility for her care, except for feeding in the first year or so. Her mother had agreed. Alexis secretly suspected that that agreement had something to do with the fact that breast-feeding women tended to catch men's attention after weight lost. It was the attention Meredith loved without the cost of plastic surgery. Alexis knew that was just one more reason her father meant so much to her, even if he didn't always succeed. He did his best to protect her physically and emotionally. Whenever something got through to hurt her he was always there to make it better. She hated that he loved so easily and so completely but no-one, excepting her and her grandmother did the same for him and there was only so much she could do to protect him from pain, and that was to be so unlike her mother as possible.

**To be Continued…**

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**Author's notes: **I will write a separate story for the case in the flashback if you want, although you know the end, but it's still fun to see the friction between Castle and Beckett. Besides, don't you want to see the process Castle goes through to push him over the edge and reach this conclusion? You'll need to tell me. Sucked in that's just one more reason to R&R. See, I want you to message me, so I will start providing incentive or rambling incessantly in this section. If you're still reading this, you really need to message me and stop me before I go on forever. (My sister is begging you to ask for me to do the other story too, because she wants to see it and I won't do it only for her, because I can just convey it verbally to her.) I will shut up now because I'm becoming aware that the only reason I'm still going is a lack of sleep, and I'm getting repetitive. So to save me the trouble you can just re-read this section.


	5. Jess

Disclaimer: I still don't own anything.

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**Chapter 5: **_'Jess'_

Castle had spent the two hours since passing with Alexis after their lunch just wandering the streets of New York. He was stopped regularly in the middle of the street by fans, sometimes a whole horde of them, for autographs, questions or impromptu photo shoots. He wasn't in the mood for much more of this at the moment so he ducked into an unpopulated side street. As he dodged through numerous piles of garbage he realized he wasn't paying attention to where he was going and before the ground in front of him came into focus, he tripped on an electrical cord that was just lying across the ground.

The air was knocked out of Castle as his body slammed against the pavement. His vision went blurry for a moment and he knew he had hit his head hard. To give himself time to gain his bearings he lay there a moment but quickly became aware of a women rushing to his aid, "Are you alright, sir?" she reached down and helped him up. She then began scanning him for injuries before she even had the chance to reply. He couldn't help but grin. He was so used to Beckett not caring that having a beautiful woman frantically search for injuries was an unexpected novelty. "Where does it hurt?"

"Who says it hurts anywhere?" He wriggled his eyebrows, _'was he flirting with her? Since when did he flirt seriously with anyone but Beckett?' _She stopped searching him and creased her brow in confusion for a moment. He thought it was actually kind of cute, and then she seemed to catch on.

"Oh, just the blood dripping from your forehead." She laughed at his sudden look of shock. She had a nice, genuine laugh…he liked the sound. He put his hand up to his head and then looked at the blood clinging to his fingers. A sheepish smile took hold as he realised how stupid he must have looked denying pain while bleeding from the head.

"I guess that, since you mention it, my head does feel a little tender."

"Come on, my place is just there. I'll get you patched up in no time."

"Thanks" He took a step in the direction she indicated but he collapsed forward as pain shot through his ankle and up his leg. He gasped from the pain. Luckily for him, her reflexes were fast and she had partially expected that to happen and so she was ready to catch him. "Thanks again, I guess my ankle kind of hurts too."

"Does anything else hurt? You know, so we don't kind out the hard way."

His grin snuck back on his face. "My ribs aren't feeling their best."

She smiled a reply, "Alright, Mr Castle, lets get you patched up and on your way, I'm sure you have somewhere to be."

'_Now that was a surprise'_, "You know who I am?"

She laughed again and he loved it as much as the first time, "I'm somewhat a fan of your work, both in your books and with the NYPD." She was helping to support him as he hopped toward her apartment.

"Thanks, call me Rick. You know who I am, but I don't believe I've had the pleasure."

"Jessica Saint-Clair."

"It's an honour, Ms Saint-Clair."

"Please, call me Jess."

"It's an honour, Jess."

Rick spent the next ten minutes sitting on her kitchen counter being examined. Jess determined that his ankle was twisted and should be fine in a few days, he had a simple concussion, a sharp rock, which had just missed his temple, had caused the bleeding, and his ribs were just begging to bruise. She warned him that they would be nasty for a few days but nothing too bad. She then bandaged up his ankle and put a patch on his head. "How do you know all of this?" He was amazed at her skill and precision in the field of medicine.

"I was a medic in desert storm before joining the FBI."

"You're with the FBI?!"

She chuckled at his evident surprise, "I love that that's what surprises you more. Most people find the fact that I went to war the more startling revelation."

"I know what you mean, it's like they can't see anyway you could possibly look after yourself on the streets of Manhattan let alone a war zone."

"You were in a war?" her eyebrows shot up. "None of your online biographies talk about that, and none of your online interviews mentioned that."

A sad smile touched his lips at her comments. "It's not a part of my life I generally talk about. People don't tend to believe me and then they ask constant questions. I gave up after a few months..."

"I guess people find it hard to imagine an author and a generally acknowledged playboy as a soldier. Where we're you stationed?"

"Everywhere and no-where. I was in Dhahran for a little while. We moved out on the 22nd before the Iraqi Scud hit the barracks. We were supposed to leave on the 26th but they wanted my team to do recon for the assault on the 24th, but that was the longest we stayed in one spot the entire campaign." He ignored her surprise, "Delta sniper. Where were you?"

"Saudi-Arabia, Hatar al Batin, and then I got transferred state side after my right shoulder copped a slug. They left me there until the cease fire, and then I did bits and pieces of relief work when they sent me home."

"Your shoulder?"

"Nah, end of contract and they needed doctors back home but instead of finishing med school I joined the bureau."

"Good choice?"

She laughed, "I'll let you know."

He laughed at that but he caught sight of the time and sighed. "I'd better get going, my lunch break finished two-and-a-half hours ago."

"Yeah, I'm already late from my break too."

Castle took a piece of paper from his pocket and wrote his name and number on it, "I don't have any business cards, but this should do. Call me, or I'll call you, that's your choice."

"I'll call you…" She took the paper with a smile, "It was nice meeting you, Rick. Maybe next time we could do this without the blood."

"I'd like that." His smile widened, "It was a pleasure, Jess."

**_To be Continued..._**

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**_Author's notes:_** I know this seems pseudo-random, but you will see how it fits soon enough. **_  
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	6. A Missed Opportunity

Disclaimer: Same as the previous chapters, I don't own anything.

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**Chapter 6: **_A Missed Opportunity_

Castle limped across the bull pen to Det. Esposito who was almost hidden from view by the mountain of paperwork on his desk. Castle ad begun to understand that having a concussion and a twisted ankle was not very helpful when it came to his mobility. He had to keep his weight off his sore ankle, he suspected he would fall over otherwise, and his sense of balance, which he was far too dizzy to trust at that moment, was necessary to keep him up right.

Seeing Castle approach, Esposito called out to his partner, who was getting coffee. "He's back!" he paused, noticing the patch on Castle's head and the bandage on his ankle. "And it looks like he has a story for us."

"There is no story. I tripped and hit my head, that's all." Ryan had entered the room and raised an inquiring eyebrow at Castle's appearance. "What?" He decided quickly that he'd rather not tell them about his day. They were his friends but their first loyalty was to Beckett and he really didn't feel like listening to her put him down about either his clumsiness or the woman who patched him up and his interest in her. It seemed to him that every time he even looked at a woman Beckett had a snarky comment ready. "You know what, never mind. Is Capt. Montgomery in?"

"Yeah…" Now eve Esposito's eyebrow was raised at him. "Why? You got something you're not telling us, Castle?"

"Of course, but that is not why I need to see him." The guys smiled, accepting that there really was nothing to know about Castle wanting a quick word with his friend.

Castle approached the Captain's office and knocked; when the reply came he opened the door and went in. Once he had been in there a while Esposito and Ryan grew increasingly curious as to what they were talking about. They planned to pull him aside and do a little off the books interrogation, especially after that morning, they weren't willing to take chances. They knew that, despite Castle's claims it was Beckett he stuck around for, not research. Neither of them doubted that they'd stay in touch and see him regularly once he left, but they acknowledged that they liked having him around, he'd become part of the team.

When Castle emerged from the Captain's office Montgomery came with him. They were talking about the upcoming poker game. Esposito heard something about it not being at Castle's like it was supposed to and Montgomery was making arrangements, none of this sounded good for their team. The pair stopped in front of the elevator and Castle waved farewell to Esposito and Ryan before disappearing behind the closing doors.

As he passed Montgomery addressed the Detectives. "I'll trust you two to tell Beckett that Castle is taking a few days off to recover."

"Recover? The guy has a twisted ankle-" Esposito was cut off by Montgomery.

"He also has a concussion and is not to consult until he is better." He gave them a stern look, knowing if he didn't make this clear now one of the two would be at Castle's doorstep in no time. "He has asked that you don't inform him of any cases, he said that he wouldn't be able to stop himself from trying to help and we all know that can only delay his recovery…don't we?"

"Yes, sir," They nodded to show they understood and he walked away satisfied.

"Dibs not it," Ryan cursed under his breath as he realised that he was now the unfortunate messenger who had to tell Beckett tat her shadow would be missing for a while, and, even worse, that he was injured.

"I hate you, man."

"Yeah, I'll bet." His laughter was cut short when he spotted Beckett walking towards them. "Good luck, bro." Was all he said before he fled from the bull pen. Ran cursed again.

"Hey, Beckett!" he expelled a sigh of relief; he had just been given a moment's respite before having to carry out his unpleasant duty. "What did you do to writer boy?" 'Oh, CRAP! So much for making it easier.' That was just one more reason to hate Detective Campbell, she had always mocked Castle for following Beckett the way he did, Ryan suspected it was her way of ensuring Castle would remember her, she obviously didn't know him very well.

"It was just a misunderstanding. He'll be back any minute now and he'll be just fine, you'll see." She was getting tires of the looks and not so subtle comments she had been receiving since Castle had left for lunch, She felt bad enough already, she didn't need everyone else rubbing her mistake in her face.

Detective Campbell was laughing as she continued. "If that's what the guy looks like after a misunderstanding I want tickets to your next real fight."

"What are you harping on about? Castle walked out of here with his head held high. I was the loser that round."

"Seriously? It looked more like he just managed to hold his head on his neck as he limped away."

"What?..." She spotted Ryan standing by his desk. "Ryan! Have you seen Castle?"

"Umm…about that…Castle was here."

"What?!" She began striding towards him, "What so you mean 'was'? When? Where is he?"

"Slow down Beckett. He was here a few minutes ago, he went home."

"Ryan, I told you I wanted to talk to him when he got back."

"Hey, don't blame me, he came in, spoke to the Captain and left." Her face went from irritated to worried in the blink of an eye.

"He spoke to Montgomery...and left? Did he say that he'd be back tomorrow?"

This was going to be every bit as difficult as he'd feared. "He wont be back for a few days, at least, and Montgomery said that he's off limits, case wise un-"

"Off limits?! What the hell do you mean off limits?"

Hey! Let me finish!" He waited until she had taken a deep breath to calm herself down. "He's not leaving us, not yet." He hoped his use of the word 'us' would be enough to make her realise that Castle was a part f their precinct family and her actions had consequences for all of them when it came to Richard Castle. It worked. "He's not here because he has a fall; twisted his ankle and gave himself a concussion." He noticed her involuntary glance towards the elevator, even though she seemed unaware she'd done it. "We'll call you if anything comes up."

Beckett knew he was onto her plan to check on Castle herself, just to be sure he was okay. She would have been a bit defensive about his assumption but she also knew that he and Esposito would be checking in on him as soon as they could. "I want to know the second we get anything. Understood?"

"Yeah, go on, Beckett. We can hold the fort." He was really saying, 'go make things right again, you're the only one who can.' They both knew what he meant but Beckett was painfully aware that he was right.

* * *

Kate Beckett entered the foyer to Castle's building and was making her way towards the elevator, having flashed her badge to the doorman to grant her entry, when her phone rang. She had spent the entire car trip trying to find the words to make up for what she had said and done earlier, she was less than thrilled when she realised her planning had been in vain, they had a new body. As much as Beckett wanted to delay heading to the crime scene in favour of resolving the conflict with Castle, her job always came first, if was just who she was.

"Oh well, Castle. It seems we're going to have to wait another day." She said to the air around her before turning away and returning to the juncture where death met crime, and the black hole that is homicide stole a little more of her soul as with every glance into its depths.

**To Be Continued...**

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A/N: I apologise to those of you who wanted to see Beckett's reactions to Castle's injuries, I had originally written it that way, but this way is more fun, trust me. Thank you to all of you who have submitted reviews so far, I love reading what you think, so please keep reviewing. For those of you who haven't yet reviewed, there's an awesome little link at the bottom of this page, please feel free to use it. If you don't want to, that's fine too, just read and enjoy, but know this, if there is something you don't like or something you want to see happen I won't be able to do anything about it if you don't tell me.


	7. Cookies

**Sorry, I haven't added, am only fixing some typos, it still has the same content. So don't read this chapter twice... unless you want to, then, by all means do so and review or PM me.**

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

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**Chapter 7: **_Cookies_**  
**

Castle was torn from his dreams by the sound of his mother's voice. He had no intention of complaining, his dreams were strange and disturbing. _He was in the precinct, but it was dark and empty except for him and the mountains of paper work he was trying to do, but every time he looked at a page he was somewhere else. Once he was plummeting towards the earth after a bird, which he somehow knew to be Beckett, had torn his wings from his body and was laughing as he approached a rocky out-crop, each time to he took a leap with Beckett, though she appeared in many different forms, she sabotaged him and celebrated his impending death. As he neared death he would find himself back in the precinct with the paperwork._ His gratitude for being freed from dreams of this nature was short lived, however, as the moment he came back to himself his head began to swim and he barely made it to the toilet before his stomach emptied itself of it's own free will.

Martha walked over to her son and rubbed his back while he huddled up against the toilet, waiting for signs of another attack of nausea. "Richard, when you asked me to stay here tonight you promised me something. Do you remember what that was?"

"I have a concussion, mother, not Alzheimer's." He bit off whatever he was going to say next as his stomach lurched again.

"Richard, darling, we need to take you to the hospital." He nodded, he was tired and vomiting had worn him out. "I'll be right back, I'm going to call a car and ring the hospital to let them know you're coming. I'll wake Alexis, so she doesn't panic when she get up to find that we're not here.

"Thanks," was all he could manage in the state he was in.

* * *

They arrived at the hospital fairly quickly. Alexis had insisted on joining them, refusing to give them the chance to hide anything from her if things turned out to be serious, of course, she told them it was because she wouldn't have been able to get to sleep until they were home anyway. Castle knew that she was worried about him and, even though it was just a concussion, it started him thinking. He had thought about what would happen to Alexis if something bad happened to him many times since he began to follow Beckett. He had meant it when he asked Beckett to look out for his baby girl, yes; he would admit he still saw his toddler, wearing her triumphant smile during her first solo steps, when he looked at her. After the morning's revelations he wasn't sure he had any right to expect Beckett to take on such a responsibility, or that she even cared for Alexis. Up until that morning he had been certain she had cared about him, even if she had begun to withdraw from him, again... but now he had serious doubts. That's when his head decided to remind him why he wasn't supposed to try and concentrate on anything for too long or intensely. Its method was to swim around as fast as it could. Had he not been seated he was sure he would have fallen to the floor.

The doctor checked him over but didn't find anything serious so he sent him down for a CT scan and an MRI. When the tests came back clear the doctor confirmed that it was a mild concussion and that the major symptoms should wear off in a few days. He gave him his card and told him to see him again in two or three days for a check up and then again before he returned to activity. He also told Castle that he should consider painkiller because the headache would probably be there for a good while.

They thanked the doctor and left. The silence was almost as intolerable as loud noises given the state he was in. He decided it was time to break the monotony. "So, Alexis, are you all packed and ready for your flight in the morning?" He knew she would be, she had been packed for over a day.

"I'm not going." She was surprised that he even considered sending her to her mother's when he had just been rushed to the hospital, unnecessarily or not.

"Why on earth not?"

"Dad, really? I can't leave you at home alone with a concussion!"

"Yes, you can." He gave her the most stern look he could muster without wincing at the pain in his head, which would have given her more ammunition to use against him. "And you will." She opened her mouth to argue but he cut her off. "You will be on that plane, young lady, if I have to drag you there and tie you to your seat, myself. I love that you want to help me, really I do, but that's not your job, Pumpkin. Besides, you haven't seen your mother in a while and at least if you go now, while she's still working, you're almost guaranteed to stay in the country. I said almost." He included the last part when she shot him an incredulous look.

Martha saw the hesitation in Alexis' eyes and decided to speak up. "I'll cancel my trip with Chet and stay with your father, if that'll help you feel better, Alexis. You need to see you mother." Then under her breath she said to Castle, "If only to remember why she loves us so much." Alexis didn't hear the last part and smiled brightly until her father stepped in.

"No, Mother." Both women made to protest this time. "I'll not have either of you cancel your plans to babysit me! I can take care of myself. By the time you have to leave to pack tomorrow, Mother, I'll be in the clear; there is no reason for anyone to keep an eye on me then." He eyed them to make sure they knew he was serious. "Now, Alexis, I expect you to be ready to leave by eight AM, sharp."

Both women looked at him in shock. Alexis had never heard her father use that tone before. It was commanding, decisive, authoritative and left her absolutely unable to argue back. Martha hadn't heard that tone come from Richard since he was twenty-three. It was the tone he had adopted when he was promoted to Major and was officially given command of his unit after Desert Storm. He had left the army to be with Meredith when she told him she was pregnant, that had been the year Kyra had left. Martha suspected Richard had taken to Meredith because she was the opposite of the woman who had broken his heart and was his way of getting over Kyra. The point was that she couldn't shake the feeling that something very bad was happening in her son's life, so bad that he hadn't even spoken to her about it.

* * *

Castle saw Alexis off at the airport then went home and just spent time with his mother until she left for her romantic get away. They had almost argued again but he gave them a look that challenged them to try him on the issue and they backed down immediately.

Castle was growing restless, bored and agitated very quickly. There was nothing to do that didn't go against the doctor's orders, so he cooked. He wasn't expecting any company for the week so he knew he'd have to throw away most of what he cooked but it was cook, eat or sleep. He would be doing enough of the last two over the week that he'd not want to see a pillow or a cutlery set in quite some time. Cooking was at least time consuming, as risky as he could afford in his condition (though he still avoided the knives), and something he could experiment with to keep it slightly interesting.

Castle was making his third batch of cookies when his phone rang. Grateful for the break in the monotony of his day he answered a little more enthusiastically than most people would have expected. "You've reached Castle's House of Insufferable Boredom. How may I help you?"

"Rick?" He recognised the female voice on the other end as the woman who had helped him the previous day.

"Jess! Hi."

"Hey. I saw in the papers that you went to the hospital last night. I just wanted to check that you're alright. I would have called earlier but work's crazy right now. Anyway, how are you?"

"I'm fine; I have a very sensitive mother is all. But thank you for thinking of me."

"Of course I was thinking of you. I spent most of the afternoon horrified at what would happen if I'd missed something." He couldn't help but laugh at how absurd it felt to know that someone he wasn't related to was genuinely concerned for his well being. It was the first time he had laughed all day. "It's not funny, Rick!"

"Actually, I kind of think it is, but you have to be me to get the humour." She laughed at that with him.

"Well, since you're okay, I guess I should let you get back to your family."

"No…please…keep talking. I'm on my own this week. Besides, I think that if I keep cooking I'm going to have to hold a bake sale."

"Wait…what?"

"There's nothing else to do, so I started baking cookies. My cupboard is covered. There is no way I'm going to manage to eat all of these in the week let alone everything I'm bound to make tomorrow. Wait…why don't you come over tonight? That is, if you don't already have plans." She could hear the smile in his voice and almost agreed instantly, but she stopped herself and remembered that she had work the next day. She was exhausted, only having just gotten off the fourth consecutive thirteen hour shift, and she didn't even know where she stood with him. She had felt at ease with him and liked him immediately, not to mention she was attracted to him. There was no guarantee, what so ever, that it worked both ways.

"I don't know, Rick…it's getting late and I don't really feel like eating cookies for dinner t-"

"You don't even know what kind of cookies they are." He said feigning personal offense. "How do you know you won't want the kind of cookies I have to offer?"

"Okay, Rick." She gave him an insincere sigh of impatience, she thought it was actually quite endearing that he was trying so hard. "What kind of cookies did you make?"

"What kind will get you to come over?" She wasn't sure how, but she knew he was wriggling his eyebrows playfully. "Wait, don't answer that, if you say chocolate chip it will just sound like I'm lying to get you over here and if you say anything else I'll lose that round." They both laughed again.

"Well, then, I guess it's just lucky that I was going to say chocolate chip."

"Really? Well, come on, I'm drowning in chocolaty goodness over here and you just admitted you really want to come over and help."

"I did not admit anything."

"You might as well have. Please?"

"Very well, Mr. Castle, I will come to the rescue…again."

"Again?"

"Yes, I helped you yesterday as well."

"That's not fair, we hadn't met before then."

"That just makes it an even greater deed." They both laughed at her attempt for a superior British accent.

"When can I expect you?"

"When do you want me there?"

"Now?..."

"Very funny, Rick. I'll be there in fifteen minutes."

Okay, fifteen minutes it is."

**To be continued...**

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A/N: I had a slight craving for chocolate chip cookies while I was writing this, so sorry.


	8. Just Friends

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing. Well, that's not true, I just don't own any rights to 'Castle' or the characters involved, though I did make up Jess and she was brought into existence by me.

**A/N: **I'm really sorry this took so long to post, I've had it written for a few days, I just haven't gotten it up. Sorry. The next chapter will be up much sooner. I promise.

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**Chapter 8:** _Just Friends_

Rick stood against his kitchen counter laughing harder than he had for quite a while as he dried the dishes being washed by the grinning red head beside him. The term red head didn't seem to do her justice though. Her hair was the colour of the deepest red of a rose with a hint of chestnut brown and, perhaps it was just the writer in him, but the term red head seemed too simple and mundane to apply. He had never imagined that he would one day find himself listening to an amazing woman share the stories she had gathered over years of military and federal service and no longer feel compelled to hide a side of himself that was such a large part of who he was yes had been buried for nearly twenty years.

Rick had spent nearly every evening with Jess that week since his family left. They had quickly become close friends and confidantes. He had confided in her that he still had nightmares about what he had done during the war. He had shared stories of his time as a sniper before he volunteered for Delta Force. He ignored the fact that he was one of the few who were asked to switch to Delta Force from their original assignments; he had been more than willing so he made little to no distinction between volunteering and something a kin to an unofficial re-assignment. He would have told her stories of his days in Delta Force but they were 'top secret'…he hated that phrase, it sounded so fake, but he couldn't think of a phrase that covered it as well. Jess understood that he would never be able to discuss the jobs he did in Delta Force, so she didn't push.

She confided in him that the case she was working on had them all stumped, it was driving them crazy, worse still, it was one of the high profile cases they had encountered since she got her own team and they were talking about bringing in a more senior agent to "assist"…which meant take over in all but name. He had offered to be her sounding board after he was cleared by the doctor for all but physical activity. He assured her it wouldn't bother him in the least, it was what he did for Beckett all the time.

He didn't show it, but when he thought about Beckett he felt a painful stab in his chest. It had been a week and she hadn't even called him, even once. It hurt when he realised she actually had meant what she said, she didn't care how it happened, but she was probably celebrating the fact that he was out of her hair. The surprise of it was that the guys hadn't called either. He felt like he had been forgotten. It drove home the fact that he wasn't one of them and that he had no claim on any of them or their time. That emptiness had begun to gnaw at him until he had decided to fill the hole they had left with his newest and dearest friend.

They were discussing a prank one of the guys on her team tried to pull on her, how she found out about it and how she made it back fire on him, as they cleaned up after dinner. They were half way through their conversation when the phone rang. "I'd better get that," he looked at Jess meaningfully, "she probably needs me to convince Meredith that Paris isn't where they should have breakfast in the morning." Jess giggled as he dropped the towel on the cupboard as a playful smirk touched his lips and he headed for the phone. "Castle."

"Hey man, it's Ryan."

"Detective, what can I do for you?" Castle didn't quite manage to keep the slightly spiteful tone out of his voice. He still felt abandoned and couldn't help but assume the Detective wanted something from him.

"Castle, I'm sorry I haven't been in touch. This case has had us all working flat out all week. When we get breaks we get what sleep we can." Ryan didn't even try to disguise the fact that Castle's response had hurt him. He had felt bad all week about not calling. "Come on, Castle, cut me some slack, I'm calling now aren't I? We've been worried about you, and Esposito and I even got to your street with pizza once but we were called in for another lead."

"Sorry, Ryan, it's just not easy when none of you seemed to have noticed I'm not there. It makes me wonder if you'll miss me at all when I leave soon."

"Of course we're going to miss you, man; you're part of our team. Beckett's going crazy without you here too -"

"Hang on a second, Ryan." Castle cut him off and put his hand over the mouth piece. Jess had signaled for his attention. He looked over at her, a question in his eyes.

"I'm going to head home. I have to be at work early and I have a feeling I won't get anywhere with this case if I haven't slept. Not that we're likely to solve it tomorrow anyway, but still…"

Ryan almost choked on air when he heard a female voice over the phone, only slightly muffled by Castle's hand covering the receiver. Ryan knew immediately it wasn't Martha or Alexis.

"I'll walk you out, just a second." Castle put the phone back to his ear, "Ryan I'll be right back, don't hang up." He put the phone on the counter top and walked Jess to the door. Ryan could still hear them. "Thanks for coming, again. I know you don't have much time off at the moment and I really appreciate you spending it with me."

"It's no problem, you're an excellent sounding board."

Ryan could barely believe it, Castle was Beckett's sounding board, it seemed wrong for him to do the same for anyone else, almost as though he was cheating on her. He could hear that they were still talking but he was distracted as Esposito entered the bull pen and walked towards him. "Man, I'm glad we finally closed that one!" Esposito noticed the phone in his partner's hand, "Who are you talking to?"

"Castle." Ryan's mind was racing as he thought through the implications of the possible relationship between Castle and the mystery woman.

"How is he? When's he coming back?"

"I don't know. Well…he's pissed, I can tell you that."

"What do you mean?"

"He thought we'd forgotten him…and he called me, _Detective_." Ryan gave his partner a minute to allow the implications to sink in before he continued, "He has _company_." When Esposito didn't seem to understand what he was trying to say, he added, "_Female_ company."

"Wait, what?" There it was, he was almost as alarmed as Ryan had been when he realised they both stood to lose a lot of money.

"Yeah, that's what I thought."

Just then Castle picked up his phone, "You still there, Ryan?"

"Yeah, I'm here."

"Sorry about that, I had a friend over for dinner."

"So I heard." He couldn't stop himself, he had to know. If Castle was in a relationship, Beckett needed to know before she talked to him, "It was a woman, right?

"Yes."

"Does she have a name? Has she been spending a lot of time at your place this late at night?"

"Her name's Jessica. What's gotten into you? You're starting to sound like Meredith when she first heard about Gina."

"Nothing, just curious that's all. Who's Jessica? You haven't mentioned her before."

"Jess is a friend of mine. She's the one who helped me out when I fell over the other day."

"So it's 'Jess' is it? That's cosy, especially since you only met her a few days ago."

"She's been Jess since I met her. Now you really sound like Meredith."

"I just want details, is all. You get yourself a girl, who has a sexy voice by the way, and don't tell me? Of course I'm going to want details."

"Whoa! Hold up there...! You think she has a sexy voice?" Castle was struggling to stop himself from bursting into laughter.

"What...? Well… I… Umm…" he felt slightly ridicules just then.

"Jess and I are just good friends. She's been coming around after work…when she gets off before 11pm that is…to keep me company. Alexis and Mother are out of town so it was just me."

"Wait, you've been on your own all week? Why didn't you call? We didn't worry because we thought they were keeping an eye on you. You -"

"It's okay, Ryan. While a visit or phone call would have been nice, it gave me an excuse to have Jess over a lot more. I guess I should thank you."

"Hang on. You've know this woman for a week and you're 'good friends'? Who spend almost every night together, I might add? It sounds like you're an item to me." Esposito nodded to him, "and Esposito agrees."

"We're not an item, we have a lot in common…more than most of my other friends." Castle spotted the clock and cursed under his breath, "I'm sorry, Ryan, I have to go to bed. I have a doctor's appointment in a few hours and there's one woman I know who would kill me if she finds out I didn't go to bed soon after she left, in accordance to the doctors orders."

"Okay. One last thing though. I heard her say something about solving a case. Is she a cop? If so, which precinct?"

"Sort of…she's a Fed."

"A Fed? You're seeing a Fed?"

"I'm not dating her! And yes…she's a Fed. I know there's a professional rivalry between cops and Feds, I get it, but it doesn't have to extend to my personal life. Besides, Beckett dated a Fed. If it's okay for her, an actual NYPD cop, there is no reason for it to be a problem for me, a simple writer. Now, seriously, I'll call you tomorrow and let you know what the doctor said about when I can go back to my ride along. Until then, you and Esposito take care."

"Goodnight, Castle."

With that they hung up. Castle went to get ready for bed. Ryan looked across to Esposito, who had heard the last part of the conversation because Castle had been very passionate about what he was saying, which made him very loud. They made eye contact and swore. They couldn't help but feel that, despite their intensions, they had just pushed him further away from them and closer to the woman who already presented a problem for their plans to get Castle and Beckett reconciled and maybe even have them admit their attraction. That's when it occurred to them, someone had to tell Beckett.

* * *

Castle sat in his Doctors waiting room. He looked at his watch and groaned inward. If it was much longer he was going to be late to meet Alexis at the airport. He had greeted his mother and Chet at the same place earlier that morning before making his way to his appointment. As he had the thought, the doctor called him in. The check up only lasted a matter of minutes and the Doctor seemed pleased. "Well, Rick, It seems you heal quickly. You can recommence you're police ride along the day after tomorrow. I would say right away but I suggest you ease into it a bit. Maybe do some light activity today, then increase the intensity tomorrow, it'll reduce the strain on his muscles and help avoid cramps and the like." He smiled reassuringly to Castle.

"Thanks, Doc."

"Not a problem. Have a nice day, Rick."

"You too."

_**To be Continued...**_

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**A/N: **My sister insisted this had to be included; she wanted it placed when Castle was speaking to Ryan before Jess left. It has what many would consider a swear word, I apologise if it causes offense, but I did rate this story higher to account for any and all course language that may come up through out the story.

"_WHORE!" Castle slammed down the phone with such anger the wall shook. Jess stared at him in amazement._

Things will get more interesting as the story progresses.


	9. Worthy Opponents

**Disclaimer:** it's the same as every other chapter in this story and it will continue to be so. I don't own any of these characters or anything associated with Castle. Please assume the same for every chapter to come in this story. I'm getting tired of including this, especially considering everyone knows I don't claim to own any of the rights, also, I make no profit from this story and don't intend to try to do so.

A/N: There will be no sex scenes in this story, so don't panic. Sorry if I got your hopes up but I had to change a few things and add this because a particular reader (*cough* my sister * cough*) was a little concerned and a few mistakes got past my editing.

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**Chapter 9:** _Worthy Opponents_

When Alexis spotted her father waiting for her she ran to him, forgetting that she was in a crowded airport, and threw her arms around him. She had been worried about leaving him alone with a concussion, despite his regular phone calls and reassurances it wasn't until she was standing there, soaking up the feeling of having his arms around her, like a gloriously over-stuffed quilt, that she was able to let her fears go and relax.

She had begun to bombard him with questions before she had even let go of him. He just smiled and hugged her tighter as he confirmed that he was in the clear and the Doctor was happy for him to go back to his regular activities.

* * *

They had lunch together and Alexis told her father about her holiday with her mother. She had enjoyed her visit, like he had thought she would, and had gone shopping…a lot. Rich resented that Meredith didn't act like a mother. At best her relationship with their daughter could be considered as similar to that of a much loved shopping buddy and he had always wanted so much more for Alexis. It broke his heart that every time he tried for a serious relationship with a woman Alexis' attachment was always one sided. Sure they had pretended to reciprocate or maybe began to work to develop their side but they would always close them both out and leave before giving Alexis the mother figure she deserved. He did his best to compensate but didn't fool himself, he knew, try as he might, he would never be able to make it up to her. Alexis never showed that disappointment but he knew she felt it and he hated himself for not having chosen better in the past. Knowing that she never held it against him and tried to shield him by hiding her pain only made him feel worse.

When they had finished their lunch Castle took Alexis back home so she could rest for a few minutes before heading out to meet her friends and catch up on everything. Castle wanted to keep her there with him but he knew she would be home all night and he would again have her all to himself. He decided that he would make up for his forced inactivity by visiting the gym. He stayed with Alexis until she left and then made his way out for the afternoon. On the way he remembered his promise to Ryan the night before and sent him a text message telling him when he would be back. He hadn't wanted to get into a conversation as he was just approaching his destination and preferred to leave everything stressful or personal at the door. The reply came almost instantly, _'ok, we'll see you then. Glad to have you back.'_

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_

Castle's gym was small, it catered more to those interested in Marshal arts and other forms of combat than it did the basic fitness fanatics. He loved this place. It was set in a brick building that reminded him of old detective movies and his days in the military. Those days were simple and happy, before things became complicated and difficult. He had started going there while he was still a Second Lieutenant, before Delta Force, on his home leave and in between tours. A number of army officers preferred this gym to the ones on base, it allowed them to spar with members of other services, learn some styles not taught in their particular training and to catch up on any new techniques brought in after their training days. This allowed Castle to keep up to date and practice what he knew while having a bit of practice. His training put him above the standard of regular gym goers and he quickly grew bored of such easy marks. He admitted that he was never the best in hand-to-hand, but he was certainly capable. In fact, he was about average in his team, which granted him the status of deadly against regular infantry and most civilians weren't even on the chart.

Following the doctors advice he took it easy, instead of starting off sparring with an overly cocky Warrant Officer which, had he not listened to the doctor, he would have done without hesitation he headed over to the punching bag and weights. He had been there for about an hour when his phone rang from inside his duffel bag.

"Hello?" The caller came up as unknown, and if this was a wrong number, he didn't want to run the risk of letting the caller know that they had stumbled onto a celebrity's personal number.

"Dad, it's me."

"Alexis, what's up?"

"I was wondering, if it is okay with you, can I stay at Lacey's tonight?" Lacey had been Alexis' best friend for as long as he could remember, well, second only to Paige. The following day would be Saturday and he had been hoping to spend the entire evening Friday helping her prepare for the fencing competition. He knew, however, that she would not have asked if she had not thought it through.

"Okay, Pumpkin, just be sure to stop by the apartment and pick up your gear for the competition in the morning. Have Alan let you in if you forgot your keys. Do that when you pick up your sleep over gear. I'll meet you there tomorrow."

"Thanks, Dad. Love you!"

"Love you too, Pumpkin." He sighed as he hung up the phone. It looked like he would have more time to spend at the gym than he had expected. As he made to replace his phone in his bag it began to ring again. "Why, hello Special Agent Saint-Clair. Miss me already?"

"Yes."

"Wow." He was taken aback by the simple honesty of her response. Beckett would have thrown his comment back in his face. He was still getting used to knowing Jess never did that to him, she would joke around, but when it came to how she felt, she was of the strong opinion that honesty was the best policy. "Really? Your day's that bad, huh?"

"You have no idea…I know Alexis just got back so you can't talk but I just wanted to know what the doctor said. Are you all clear?"

"Yeah, I have tomorrow to get everything ready to go back to the life of a volunteer NYPD Consultant." They both smiled at his self appointed title.

"Good…that's really good." He could hear the hesitation in her voice. "I guess I'll let you get back to Alexis…"

"No, its okay, she's at her friend's for a sleep over. Are you on your break?"

"No, I gave the team the rest of the day off."

"Why? What happened?"

She smiled a little more at how well he was getting to know her. "We got another body. None of us can figure out how he got past the protection detail. I thought that, since we're banging our heads against the proverbial brick wall, we might as well try for some sleep, a little down time, and a fresh start tomorrow. Besides, I'm pretty sure they're calling in that senior agent they've been talking about…as it turns out; this particular celebrity was a personal friend of our director, so I decided I might as well give us a chance to pull ourselves together before we get our heads bitten off."

"What are you doing this afternoon, now that you're not working?"

"I don't know, I honestly haven't thought about it. Why?"

"Whenever I'm really stressed I either write or work out. I just happen to be at the gym right now and I think you'd like this place. So how about you join me?"

"We have our own gym at the office, Rick…And it's free. Why would I want to go elsewhere?"

"Because I'm here, and you know you're just dying to see what I can do."

"Why would I care how many push-ups you can do? I could see half naked men do push-ups at the office." She loved how playful she could be with him, especially after the morning she had just had.

"It's a lot more like your office gym than you think…only better. Trust me."

"Well, if you put it like that, how could I resist?" He words were dripping with sarcasm and Castle smiled as she giggled, letting him know, without a doubt, that he had won.

"Oh shut up and get over here." He rattled off the address before continuing, "I expect to see you within the next half hour."

"I'll be there." They hung up and Castle made his way over to the reception desk.

"Hey, Matt. Listen, I have a friend coming, can I cover her for today?"

"Sure thing, Rick, fill these out and we'll point her your way when she gets here." Everyone knew everyone here, that's one more thing Castle loved. They knew but didn't stick their noses where they didn't belong and if they did, a little sparring was usually enough to teach them not to do so again.

He filled out the paper work that Matt had handed him and returned it. As he made his way to the weights a vaguely familiar voice caught his attention. "Richard Castle? What on earth are you doing in a place like this?" He looked over at the speaker and recognised Detective Curtis Bates, Campbell's partner. "Researching how real men fight?"

Bates wasn't usually one to give Castle a hard time, despite his partner's attitude. Castle suspected he was new here and thought that if he won his first fight, regardless of who he fought, it would earn him respect. Castle knew that he looked like an easy target that was the reason he had managed to convince Beckett that his survival while following her so far was either due to her, or a complete fluke. He wasn't ready for her to know otherwise, it would only have put an added strain on what had been an unstable friendship. She was used to being the best at everything she did, and to have anyone, especially a writer out fight her, had he actually been fighting her or not would have set her teeth on edge without giving him a chance to explain. He couldn't help but think that since she hated him anyway, his years of trying to get on her good side being useless, there was no point trying to hide it anymore.

"Actually, Bates, I came here for a little entertainment and physical exertion…you know how it is, there's nothing like beating a worthy opponent." He smiled sincerely, half hoping Bates would take him up on his barely concealed challenge and half hoping he would take the hint and back down. He didn't dislike Bates and was not eager to humiliate the man.

"A worthy opponent for you, Castle, would be a toddler." Something about the atmosphere and that irritating smirk on bates' face triggered a competitive side to Castle that had been dormant since his days in the service. It was like he was suddenly back in the barracks on the third day of inactivity while awaiting orders, his boys having grown restless and the only way to take their minds off the war was to have sparring competitions. When an even more sinister smirk filled Castle's features, Bates took an unconscious step backwards.

"Would you care to test that theory? Yourself being said toddler, of course." Bates pulled himself in check; it was only Castle after all.

"At the risk of hurting your pride, Writer Boy, yes."

They barely noticed the crowd that had began to gather as they made their way to the mats. Castle soon noticed that most of those gathering were regulars, many of whom had even fought him personally and were now shooting sympathetic glances to the detective who was about to learn the hard way that the author was a good example of the reason behind the saying _never judge a book by its cover_.

Castle dropped his duffel bag to the side and took his place on the mats. Castle bent his knees a little and stood with his feet a shoulder's distance apart, slightly side on to Bates. Both men raised their fists to shoulder height, Castle's were clenched but relaxed and his elbows were close to his body, while Bates' were out in front and clenched tightly. Bates spoke with more confidence than he was beginning to feel. "Three taps to withdraw. Nothing to cause permanent harm… are you ready, Castle?"

"Born ready. How about you?" That smirk was still there.

"Give me all you've got, Castle, I'll go easy on you, I promise."

* * *

Neither of them noticed as Jess approached the crowd, taking in the situation instantly. She could tell just by looking at the crowd that they expected this to be the most entertaining thing that was bound to happen that day.

* * *

Bates counted to three and launched himself towards Castle. As he approached he pulled his right fist back to his shoulder and threw it towards the author who had shifted to the balls of his feet. Seconds before the punch was to land Castle stepped to the left, causing the detective to overbalance at the lack of resistance and barely avoid falling to the ground. For the next while things continued on like this. Bates would strike and Castle would dodge him with ease. Bates even tried to trick Castle by throwing out his right fist spinning at the last second to strike with his left in the direction Castle had stepped. On these occasions Castle noted that Bates wasn't throwing as much of his weight behind the initial punch and would make his side step extra long which caused the additional strike to miss, just like the first. Castle enjoyed watching Bates grow frustrated, but when he began to let his defenses slip, confident that Castle wouldn't take the offensive, and took up a constant tirade of punches and kicks, one or two connecting with Castle as he side stepped, Castle decided that enough was enough.

As Bates threw his next right hook Castle again side stepped him, but this time he stayed within easy reach. He grabbed Bates' right wrist in his right hand and pulled it around towards him then used the palm of his left hand to push Bates' right shoulder away and down. Thrown off balance by Castle's sudden jerking on his arm he found himself hopping on one leg to stay upright. He hadn't managed to place his left leg back on the ground before the push to his shoulder left him sprawled across the floor. He rolled onto his side.

Castle dropped to the ground next to Bates and before he could react Castle was on his left knee with his right leg wrapped around Bates' waist, heel digging into his hip. He looped his right arm under Bates' right arm, pushing his opponent's elbow forward and grasping his own collar to anchor the hold. He pressed his left hand on the side of Bates' head, resting all his weight through that hand and pointed his toes down behind him. He then swung his left leg on top of Bates' head and, grabbing the arm he had secured to his chest with both hands, lay back against the ground. Bates struggled but couldn't break the arm bar Castle had locked him into. He gave up quickly, frightened by Castle's seemingly sudden competence and humiliated by how stupid he looked; a fully trained NYPD Detective being toyed with and beaten by a writer. He tapped out.

Feeling Bates' hand tapping three times on his leg Castle immediately released his grip on Bates' arm and used his upper body to swing himself off of Bates. After picking himself up he extended a hand to the Detective who was still on the ground at his feet. Bates took his hand and allowed him to help him up. "Where did you learn to fight like that? No, forget that. When did you get so fast? You know what…answer them both."

Castle's smile grew even brighter as he simply said; "I wasn't always an author." He winked and turned to the applauding crowd. The tall woman in an emerald green shirt and black pants suit with her eyebrow cocked caught his attention. "Jess! You made it!" He grabbed his bag and hurried towards her. "I hope you aren't planning on wearing that. You'll be sweating profusely if I have any say in the matter."

She blushed but her voice didn't waver even as he wriggled his eyebrows at her. "I have a change of clothes in my bag." She thought for a second before continuing. "What exactly do you have in mind?" She raised one eyebrow, her way of hinting at the possible double meaning behind her words.

Rick caught on quickly but decided to ignore it for the time being. He wasn't sure of where he wanted their relationship to go. Rick knew that Alexis wanted him to find someone like Jess; he knew that she would get along well with his family and he liked her, a lot, but she wasn't Kate Beckett. She never would be Kate Beckett, his Extraordinary KB. His mind was following this train of thought as he answered. "Go get changed, over there," he pointed to the woman's change rooms, "and then you'll see."

She made her way to the room he had indicated and Alexis' plea filled his mind. 'Let her go.'

* * *

Bates watched as the enigma that was Richard Castle approached a tall, attractive, obviously professional woman. He was momentarily confused but all doubts were washed from his mind as he heard the conversation between them. He made a mental note to withdraw his bet from the office pool. He had known Kate Beckett long enough to recognise her feelings for the author, everyone at the precinct had, he had hoped they would make up after their fight, but judging from the scene in front of him he guessed that Beckett was in for a painful shock. He respected Beckett greatly, every one at the 12th did. She was a good cop, but it went deeper than that. He liked her. She had always been great to work with, had gone out of her way to help out people she barely knew and was everything Castle had portrayed her to be in his books, though perhaps a little more guarded in giving her heart. Had he been a religious man he would have prayed they work things out before things between Castle and the mystery woman, who was now walking away, got serious. He again made a mental note, but this time it was to warn Dr. Lanie Parish before her friend's heart was broken, so she could be ready when the time came, or maybe she would be able to warn Beckett before she learned the truth the hard way.

* * *

Castle turned to find Bates watching him. An unhappy look filled Bates' face. Before he could speak his phone rang. "Hello, Rick speaking."

"Richard Castle?" An unfamiliar male voice echoed through the phone. "Richard Castle the novelist…Martha Rodger's son?"

"Who is this?

"My name is Charles Carter…"

"As in the Senator…?"

"The one and the same."

"What can I do for you, Senator?"

"Call me Charles. I need to meet with you…tomorrow morning."

Sir, tomorrow morning's no good for me. I have-"

"You need to hear what I have to say, Richard, and it's tomorrow morning at seven-thirty, or never." Castle did the math in his head. If he was quick he could be there in time to see Alexis compete. He sighed inaudibly.

"Where should I meet you?" The senator told him the address of his summer home in Upper Manhattan. Castle programmed the address and a reminder into his phone. "Okay, I'll be there." Castle said before they both hung up, he then sent Alexis a text message telling her that he would be late in the morning but that he would try to be there for her first match.

"What was that about?" Jess had walked up behind him while he had been texting.

"Senator Charles Carter wants to meet with me in the morning. He said that I'd want to hear what he had to say and that it couldn't wait."

"Does the senator call you in at the last minute, often?"

"I've never met nor spoken to the man before."

"That's strange!" Her eyebrows shot up at the revelation. Castle just laughed and wrapped his arm around her shoulders.

"Come on, Jess. Let's make you sweat."

"You can try, Rick, but it takes a lot to make me sweat."

"We'll see."

Rick worked through her warm ups with her before they hit the mats. They sparred for hours and were both thoroughly exhausted by the finale round. She was really good and no matter what he did he couldn't break her focus. She was calm and systematic. Castle was far more adaptable and better trained but he was tired from the workout he had undergone prior to her arrival. Even at his full strength her skill would have kept things interesting. As it was he needed to win this round to come out on top of their tie. They found themselves on the floor, struggling for dominance. He had almost had her in a chock hold when she had managed to put him off balance and had flipped them both over. He had been thrown onto his back and she had landed between his legs. He instinctively wrapped them around her and locked his ankles behind her back.

Jess pinned his left arm to the ground at his bicep and raised her left foot, anchoring it on the ground just out of his reach and turned her hip to the left, creating a gap between their bodies. She passed her hand between his thigh and her body, fingertips first. He shuddered slightly as her hand slid along his thigh, distracting him momentarily but he saw the smirk that spread across her face at his reaction.

She slid her body down and back between his legs until his right leg was on her left shoulder she then grabbed his collar with her thumb on the inside and drove his knee straight past his head, forcing him to grunt and release his legs. She then slid along his body until she was lying sideways across his torso, her left leg straight out behind her and her left arm across his shoulder, her forearm flat on the ground. She rolled to face his legs and turned her hips so they faced his knees. As she made to spread her legs and block his counter he made his move. He swung his legs around towards her and slid his head out from under her arm. Before she knew what was happening he was on top of her, one knee on either side of her.

Rick grabbed hold of her collar at the back on his left side but with his right hand, grabbed the opposite side of her tee-shirt with his left hand and pulled it tight against the back of her neck. She tried to throw him to the side by swinging her legs and body but his base was too well set and he drove his right elbow across her neck and had her in a tight choke. She struggled momentarily but knew she had lost. She tapped out and he released her. He sighed and fell to the ground beside her. They smiled as they turned their heads to look each other in the eye. "You're good." He panted.

"So are you." She was equally breathless.

"We'll have to do this again…soon." She unconsciously took his hand. In a fraction of a second his mind went from his feeling for Beckett to the things she had said to him and the pain she caused to both him and Alexis. He couldn't count the number of times her words had echoed through his mind, but they were doing it once more. He could hear her saying them as though she was right beside him. He again heard Alexis' plea. '_Let her go_.' Then he again heard Beckett tell him '_I was happy before you came along…I'll be over the moon when you're gone._' He knew those weren't her exact words, but they said exactly the same thing, '_I hate you_,' only they seemed somehow less painful when paraphrased. He realised that this was his chance to keep his promise to Alexis, and he never broke a promise to his baby girls, not if he could help it. He knew it was time his heart changed tracks.

Jess seemed to realise what she had done and began to pull her hand away, blushing profusely, but Rick squeezed her hand and held it firmly in his own before smiling at her again.

A/N: I know I took _forever_ to get this up, but it was really long and I wrote it on paper then typed it up, so it was an enjoyable yet painfully slow process. I hope you like it any way.

PS Don't stop reading just because of what happened at the end of this chapter, you will hate me for a while, but it will be so very worth it…at least I think it will be.

Eliza


	10. One Man's Legacy

Disclaimer: Same as always, assume it always will be.

A/N: Sorry it's really long!

**Chapter 10:** _One Man's Legacy_

Castle exited the cab and adjusted his tie. He hated ties but he felt it was appropriate to wear a full suit when meeting a Senator in his own home, especially for the first time. With that in mind he had chosen a black suit with a light blue shirt and matching black tie. He approached the door and knocked, ill at ease about the entire strange situation. The door swung open to reveal an older man wearing a grey suit, his tie hanging loosely and his hair dishevelled, particularly around his temples, as though he had run his fingers through it too many times. "Richard, I'm glad you came. Come on in."

Rick followed him into his study before speaking. "Senator, can I ask what this is all about?"

Carter's hands found their way to his hair again then he turned to face Rick head on. "Before we say anything I want you to have these." He picked up two old journals and one fairly new one and handed them to Rick, who wore a thoroughly confused expression. "What's written on those pages is more important to me than anything. Those are all the words I've ever wanted to say to you…It's cruel, when I finally get the courage to do so, time, that dear old friend, has turned and stabbed me in the back."

Rick paused for a moment then spoke, "I don't follow…"

"I'm your father, Richard." Rick stopped everything; even his once steady breathing came to a halt. Seeing Rick's reaction he continued faster than he had intended. "You're holding all the evidence I can offer you…short of a paternity test, which I will give you, if that's what you want." He was almost pleading for Rick to believe him.

"I…" His throat was dry and his voice refused to cooperate. "I…" He couldn't think. He couldn't breath. "You…you abandoned us?" It wasn't as much a question as it was a statement, but his sense of his reality was suddenly blurred. "You left Mother to raise me alone…" His mind was racing again.

"Richard….please…" Rick's heart seemed to be trying to escape his chest, it was beating so hard and fast he half expected it to burst free right then and there. The room seemed to be getting excruciatingly hot and small, very quickly.

"How long have you known?"

"Rick…"

"How long?" His every muscle clenched and he remembered the pain of all those years watching everyone around him with their dads; in the park, building sand castles on the beach, going to sports events, learning to swim, learning to ride a bike and play catch, having someone to turn to when he was too embarrassed to talk to his mother, at graduations, when he shipped out his first time, his only fear had been for his mother and who would look after her. All this pain, fermented into rage, was boiling in his veins as he looked at the one man who could have, no, should have saved him from the weight of a cruel world crashing down on his then young shoulders.

"I knew from the beginning. Martha told me she was pregnant…but we had already broken up and I was running for office and-" Rick cut him off in the middle of his begging.

"You knew? You knew this whole time…and you never even once tried to contact me!"

"I was scared! I didn't think you would want to see me! The voters would have turned on me...!" Rick couldn't take it any more. His tie had grown unbearably tight. He needed air. He needed it fast. He turned and walked out, prying his tie from his neck. "Richard?" Carter followed him onto the street. "Don't you walk away from me!"

"Like you did to us?" Neither man noticed they were in a very public place and were drawing a good deal of attention. "I _waited_ for you." Rick's voice was low and oozed the disgust he now felt at the thought. "I dreamed, _for years_, of the day you would walk through the door and tell me you had been searching for us and that you'd never leave again…I used to dream that you were someone _great_, someone to be _proud _of…and I got _you_!" his voice was raised again. "A worthless coward!" He hailed a cab and climbed in.

Carter watched him leave, mentally kicking himself for not staying calm, he had known it would be a hard thing for Rick to hear but had lost himself in the heat of the moment.

* * *

Rick dropped the journals he had inexplicably been unable to release until that moment onto the couch and picked up his phone. Before he knew what he was doing he hit speed dial three. His mind caught up with the rest of him as the answering machine picked up his call. When he heard the familiar voice answer; "You have reached the desk of Detective Kate Beckett, I can't come to the phone right now. Please leave your name, number and message after the beep. I'll get back to you as soon as I can," he briefly considered leaving a message and taking her up on her offer to get back to the caller. He hung up before the beep sounded. He was even angrier at the realisation that she would never get back to him, whether he had left a message or not, because you can't go back to a place you had never been. Instead Rick called his mother's mobile.

"Richard, Dear, where are you? Alexis is already onto her second match."

"Tell her I'm sorry, I won't be able to make it…something's come up."

"What are you talking about? You've not missed a competition since she started. Is it a case?"

"No…" He couldn't contain his temper much longer, "Does the name Charles Carter sound familiar to you, Mother?" His voice held more spite than he had intended as he asked the rhetorical question, but then again, she had lied to him his whole life.

"Oh, my…Richard…I-"

"Save it, Mother… I don't need anymore lies." He fought to hold back the tears that stung his eyes. "Can you look after Alexis today?"

"Of course. You're not going to do something stupid, are you?"

"Like the police horse incident? No, I don't need to embarrass anyone else this time. I just need to clear my head."

"Ok, Honey. I'll stay with her."

"Thanks…I'll see you later." He hung up quickly, afraid that he would lose control and break down. He wasn't sure why, but he felt a sudden, intense, need to see Jess. He dialed her number.

"Saint-Clair," She sounded so professional and serious that he chuckled a little, even in his mood such an oddity seemed to deserve some recognition.

"Jess, it's Rick."

"Rick!" He could hear the smile in her voice, which made him smile, despite the metaphorical gaping hole that had replaced his chest. "Hey, what's up?"

"I just needed to hear a friendly voice."

"Why, what happened?"

Her sincere concern made him want to tell her, right then and there. "You remember that call I got yesterday? The one from Senator Carter."

"Yeah…?" The question in her voice was expected.

"Well, he wanted me to meet him this morning, so I did…"

"What _happened_, Rick?" She was worried about him and he knew she wouldn't even think about denying it; after so long pretending to not care and feigning a strength he didn't feel it was enough to make him want to share his every hurt with her and trust her to make him smile again.

"He's my father…" A moment's silence made him uncomfortable and he was starting to regret the lapse in his defences when she replied.

"How does he know? He just came out and told you like that?…right out of the blue? The bastard!" She stopped herself and took a few calming breaths before continuing. "Sorry…what happened then?"

Rick told her the story and was pleased when she took his concerns and feelings seriously and confirmed that he had every right to react the way he had. She also encouraged him to contact his father, once he had sorted through his feelings and knew what he wanted, and to work things out. She was supportive, like he had hoped and was more comforting than he remembered any woman, not related to him, ever being. Except maybe that one time Beckett had told him that she wanted him to stick around, he was certain, however, that Jess really did mean what she said and would never turn around and use his moment of weakness against him.

"Rick…why don't you come visit me? I'm due for my lunch break soon…and we have a gym upstairs. It's not as good as the one you usually go to…but I'm at this one…what do you say?" He really wanted to say yes, without any thought, but he didn't want to interfere with her work, he was used to Beckett's 'Work comes before anything else' policy.

"I don't know…You're working and-" She cut him off before he had a chance to say anymore.

"Rick, I want to see you. I'm a little unsure how to tell you this…I have another motive too. I need to ask you a work related favour. Special Agent Shaw found out we're together and she wants me to get your help-"

"Shaw? As in Jordan Shaw?"

"Yeah…I take it you know her?"

"She ran the investigation into the psychopath that was after Beckett. Is she the one they brought in after…?"

"After we lost our last celebrity…It's okay, you can say it. Yeah, she is."

"Well, since I won't be interfering… I'll be there in twenty."

"See you then." They hung up and Rick grabbed his duffel bag. He found a clean pair of dark green, mottled cargo pants, a black tank top and a dark gray wool sweater, stuffed them in his bag with his runners and a towel before heading out the door.

* * *

Jess smile to herself. She enjoyed Rick's company and after the previous evening when he had kissed her on their first actual dinner date she was more than fairly sure he liked having her around too. The smile didn't fade a bit as she continued her work, though she was distracted by her memories of their first night as a couple.

The scene flowed through her mind like the highlights of a great movie. _They stood outside her apartment door. She could see the sunrise through the window at the end of the hall, its golden light lending a sense of dreamy surrealism to the moment. His hair had somehow been mussed when they danced. He had taken her to a small Italian restaurant and then to a little known studio his friend owned. He had set candles and had music playing. They had danced most of the night, followed by a quiet stroll in the park. She hadn't thought it could get any better until she found herself looking into his deep blue eyes and losing herself in the moment. "I had a great time, Rick." She fumbled with her keys for a second._

"_So did I." His smile was easy and relaxed as he hung his coat over his arm. "I'd really like to take you out again, soon."_

"_I'd like that." That was when he leaned in and she felt her breath catch. _

_He whispered to her, "I'm going to kiss you now." She could feel his breath caress her cheek, then his mouth brushed against hers, just enough that her lips tingled at the sensation. The tingling spread through her entire body and her eyes slid closed in anticipation. She felt him smile through the little contact they had. It seemed like forever but was really no longer than a fraction of a second, but when she could no longer restrain the need for his kiss she closed what gap there was between them. Her arms found their way around his neck and his hands were on her waist in no time at all. She deepened the kiss and he didn't resist. They soon found themselves inside her apartment her back pressed against the back of her closed door. Things had moved quickly from there and she had woken up satisfied, with his arm wrapped around her waist. That moment had set her day on a very positive path._

"What's got you so happy?" The deep male voice tore her from her musings. "Paperwork's never gotten that reaction from you before."

She looked up at one of the agents on her team. He was a long term friend of hers. He was smiling in a way that told her that he knew something was happening in her life that she hadn't told him about yet. "That's funny, I don't recall saying it had anything to do with the paper work…" She knew she would probably cop a ribbing for what she was about to tell him but she wanted to share her joy and she hadn't kept many secrets from him since the academy. "I may have met someone…"

His smile grew even brighter, which she hadn't thought possible. "What's his name? How did you two meet? And for goodness sake, when are you seeing him next?" He had been trying to set her up with half the guys he knew for months but she'd never aggress to a second date. She hadn't gotten over her last serious boyfriend, but by the excitement in her eyes he felt safe in assuming that he was now a thing of the past. He had always thought the guy was a bit of a tool anyway and couldn't understand what Jess saw in him. He pulled over a chair and sat on it, the backing between his legs. His enthusiasm reminded her of a school girl. She laughed at that thought but couldn't resist playing along. It was rare that she had anything good to share about her personal life and there was no way she was going to let the moment pass her by.

"His name is Richard Castle-"

"That novelist you love? The one who's books you read over and over again?"

"That's the one." She laughed again at the change of expression on his face. He went from indignant disbelief to stunned in seconds. She gave him a moment for it to sink in before continuing. "When I went home in my lunch, after Johnson's shooting, he was walking down my street. He had been having a bad day and was trying to clear his head. When I was getting in my car to come back I saw him trip over and I couldn't not help, not once I'd heard the crack his head made when it hit the sidewalk and he wasn't getting back up immediately."

"So you stole the poor man's heart…it was love at first sight-" He did a fairly comical impersonation of a love struck teenage girl and batted his eyelashes. She chuckled but smacked him good naturedly across the arm anyway. She couldn't let him tease her on the job without some ramifications. She was his boss, after all.

"Actually," She said pointedly, though her eyes still shone with happiness, "We talked for a while, then we spent a few evenings together." She noticed the change in his smile that told her he had interpreted her statement to mean something it didn't and decided she had to straighten that out before Rick arrived. "We just talked and shared a few meals, that's all."

"Sure it is." He winked. "Continue."

"Well, yesterday we sparred, hand to hand, to take my mind off things-" He laughed his disbelief.

"_He_ knows hand to hand? I'll bet you wiped the floor with him!"

"Actually, he beat me." He shot her a look that said '_You so let him win._' "No, really, he did. He's ex-military, Harrison. He knows his stuff."

"_He's_ ex-military? Seriously? He looks kind of…clumsy."

Jess was about to come to her new boyfriend's defense when a familiar voice distracted her. "I'm glad you think so. I go to great pains to have people dismiss me as defenseless and childish… they're less suspicious of you if they think you're inept." Rick was smiling as he approached them, holding his duffel bag so that it hung over his shoulder.

"Rick! You got here quickly." She jumped out of her seat, suddenly overtaken by the desire to be close to him and feel the warmth of his touch.

"Yeah, I got a good cabbie." He recognised her eagerness; he had a tendency to do the same whenever Beckett entered the room. Rick mentally slapped himself for thinking of Beckett when he should be enjoying a moment with his girlfriend. He almost curled his lip in disgust at the word; it was so juvenile, so childish. Partner. That was a better word.

"Good, because I was starting to miss you." She leaned forward and kissed him gently on the lips, but pulled away quickly when she remembered that they had an audience. Rick noticed the red tinge to her cheeks as she pulled away and looked at her shoes. Smiling to himself he snaked his free arm around her waist and held her close against his side as he turned to face the man Jess had been talking with.

"Hi, there. I'm Rick Castle, Jess' latest squeeze." Both men laughed as Jess; face flashed red with embarrassment and she hit Rick's chest. "Ouch! What…? You so should have seen that coming." His grin was brightened when she conceded the point with a tilt of her head before she wrapped her arms around him and smiled. "Call me Rick or just Castle. It's up to you."

"Hi, Castle. I'm Special Agent Carl Harrison, Jess' underling." He winked at the man he already felt he was going to like. "Call me Carl or Harrison."

"Nice to meet you, Harrison." Jess smiled to herself at the way the two most important men in her life at this point were openly accepting each other as part of a team they had yet to truly form. She couldn't have hoped for a better reception.

"Are you ready to get your butt kicked, Ricky?" He laughed when he saw the smile on her face; it could only be described as playfully evil.

"I think you'll find that it is you who will suffer the humiliation of losing, to an author no less. Tut tut tut. However will you face your colleagues?" He made a show of false realisation as he continued, "Or did you enjoy having me on top so much that you let me win?" He shot her an equally false look of accusation.

The red of her cheeks grew even brighter and she looked from Rick to Harrison in horror. "I…you…no…"

Rick thought that he may have pushed things far enough for the moment and took the ball from her court. "That's a pity…I certainly enjoyed having you under me, thought I wont complain about the times you were on top. I learned a thing or two when I had the chance to watch you from the floor… Excuse us please Harrison, I think the lady is planning ways to hurt me and make it appear an accident. I think it would be better for me to let her exhaust her rage before she gets too many ideas." The men laughed as Rick turned to Jess. "Lead the way, fair maiden."

Jess rolled her eyes at him to hide her musings from him until she had thought them through herself. She was well aware that he was trying to charm his way out of any trouble he may have just gotten himself into. If she was honest with herself, which she often was, she found it absolutely adorable. She did, however, worry that he felt it was necessary. Jess knew him well enough to know that for the most part Rick's overt attempts at charm, which he pulled off flawlessly, were actually his most effective methods of self preservation. He shielded his heart behind a mask of unaffected humour and charm, the same way he tried to appear nonchalant about everything so that people would assume he was an arrogant fool and not waste their time lashing out at him. The thought that he had learned that this act was necessary, especially in a personal relationship like theirs, made her chest tight and her eyes sting with unshed tears. He was a good man, father, son, a fierce friend, and she cared about him deeply. She cursed the experiences that had forced him to close himself off to the world the way he had. The fact that he had continued to love as easily and profoundly as he did while trying to protect his heart by not allowing himself to hope that anyone else was capable of love, so he could justify the loneliness he felt everyday as an unfortunate twist of fate, however, made her love him more.

'_Hold on a second. Love. When did she start loving him? She hadn't known him that long. But he had opened up to her so easily and quickly that she was undeniably aware that she knew him better than most of his older friends. Ha! Friends! He had confided in her that he didn't have many of those, if any. Not true friends. He had hundreds of fans; thousands of people knew his name. He had told her how lonely his life had become since he began to spend time with the Detectives of the 12__th__ Precinct. He watched them daily, he knew they tried to include him but he had realised, over the last week, that he would never have that strong of a bond with anyone. Their relationships were established and he was an add on at best. He hadn't told her the details but she knew something had happened the day they met, something that had brought that realisation home to him, something that he regretted not having noticed before he had lowered his defences and exposed his heart... Maybe it was his surprising depth that had first drawn her to him as a person, maybe it was his irrepressible humour, or his undefinable flair for life. What ever it was that caused that first spark, she knew herself well enough to know that it had grown. The man who, at that moment, had his arm around her waist had managed to draw her in. She longed to be beside him whenever they were apart, she wanted to hear him speak, Rick could make the most unexpected topics interesting, more than that, she wanted to hear him laugh, see him smile, feel his arms around her. When he was sad she wanted him to know that he could cry on her shoulder and not have to fear anything, because she wanted to protect him, to make him feel safe, the way he did for her. She wanted to give him her heart…she already had. She couldn't say when she had started to love him, but she did and that was that._' The realisation brought about a fluttering in her stomach that could only be described as the beating of butterfly wings. It also made what she had to ask of him that much harder. She had hated the idea before but now she hated herself for being the one to ask it of him. "Before we start, you and I need to talk to Shaw."

"Of course... Jordan! How could I have forgotten? Lead the way." Unwrapping his arms from around her he noticed the disappointment in her eyes and laughed on the inside. He offered her his arm and felt his heart lift at the tenderness and joy he saw in her eyes as she accepted it. In that moment he decided that he would put away the memories and pains of the past and do everything he could to make things work with Jess. The only real opposition to this resolution was a certain NYPD Detective, but he knew what he needed to do to remove that potential obstacle and he would do it, because he and jess deserved to have a chance at love. He would push Kate Beckett from his mind and though he knew she had left a mark on his heart, one that he would never be able to get rid of, he would ignore it because if he didn't it would haunt him until the very end. He was tired of always being the giver and never the receiver. Now he had found the ying to his yang (so that sounds dirtier than it should) and he wasn't going to let her get away without a fight.

Jess lead Rick to an office at the end of the corridor and knocked. When a muffled reply came they entered and Rick took in the room. It was basic, almost bare, but the windows admitted a large amount of sunlight and the mahogany desk was covered in papers. There were a few family pictures on the walls. A large bookshelf covered one whole wall and a pot plant seemed to be the only thing, other than the photographs, that showed that the occupant was not a total workaholic. Behind the desk sat the very person they had come to see. She looked up from her paperwork and smiled as she recognised the man standing before her, arm linked with the agent she had come to assist. '_What is it with him and integrating himself into the hearts of almost every law enforcement officer he met? The man could probably charm national secrets from CIA officials if he were of a mind to.' _She wanted to laugh at her musings but then a serious question occurred to her,_ 'Where was Detective Beckett in this picture? Had Beckett not listened to her when she told her that there was more between her and Castle than either of them realised at the time? She hoped, despite her professional priorities, that Saint-Clair and Castle were just good friends and that Beckett and Castle were more, but her hopes were dashed when she recognised the shared grins that spread across the faces of the couple in front of her. There was no doubt in her mind that Castle was at least partly invested in the relationship that was blooming before her very eyes. Oh, well. She had told Beckett what she could, if the woman had chosen to let that kind of love slip through her fingers she didn't deserve the devotion Castle had given her._' "Castle! It's great to see you again."

"You too, Shaw. I'll admit, when Jess here told me you were the one they sent in I immediately began looking for an excuse to come by and see you, but Jess saved me the trouble. She said she wanted to see me and that there was a favour you both wanted to ask of me. So here I am… ask away."

"Straight to the point, hey, Castle? Not the approach I remember..." She was amazed to see him blush. From that very action she knew that something big had changed in Castle's life since she had last seen him. "Strangely enough it seems to suit you though."

"Yeah…I decided a new approach to a number of things in my life was necessary."

"Gutsy move…good for you, Castle." She reassured him that she was sincere with a smile and then continued. "We want you to go undercover on our case and be the bait for a serial killer."

Jess was horrified that Agent Shaw had just come out and said it…just like that…as if they were asking him to hand her a cup of coffee. She instinctively gripped him tighter, afraid that he would run from her side at the request. She decided that if he did she would certainly give Shaw what for, the chain of command be blowed.

Rick winced slightly, mostly at the painfully tight grip Jess suddenly had on his arm. He appreciated Shaw putting it straight for him, however much it startled him. She spoke her mind without mincing words and it was one of the things he liked most about her. The room had gone quiet and he noticed that while Shaw was looking to him for a response Jess was glaring at Shaw in a way that, had looks been able to kill, would have had Shaw collapse to the ground never to rise again. He held back the smile that threatened to break onto his face. He thought about the possible ways this could go. If he said no there would be no ramifications to deal with. Jess would not hold it against him, he knew that for certain, but she would be working longer hours away from him than if he said yes, and she would have to worry about the case longer than if he was helping to solve it, well, that was a possibility. If he said yes he would be putting himself and his family at risk. Acting as bait for a serial killer was never particularly beneficial to one's health. It would, however, help him explain his sudden preoccupation with things other than Nikki Heat.

Rick knew many of the details of the case. He had been Jess' sounding board on more than one occasion. Someone out there really didn't like male celebrities dating below their social class. Their MO changed with every killing, so the authorities were able to convince the press that they were unrelated, but preceding each murder a note had been delivered to the next victim. Usually they said something like; 'I will stop you.' 'I won't let you hurt her.' Or, his personal favourite, 'You'll pay.' He hadn't seen the notes, but Jess knew each of them by heart. How could she not? They knew the key was in the notes, but they were stumped. They had tried to find a history of violence or anything off about the way the victims treated the women they were with, but they each came up clean, which was surprising given the hype about celebrities mistreating their romantic partners of late. One man had been shot by a sniper at one hundred yards, one had been killed in a hit and run with a large minivan that had been stolen the day before, another had been poisoned with arsenic in his Champagne when he was toasting his engagement, one had overdosed on tranquilisers administered by a dart positioned in such a way that he could not have possibly have done so himself, an the latest victim had been drowned in his bath tub the night of his wedding rehearsal. There had been no collateral damage, none of the family members had been hurt or saw anything out of the ordinary, except the sudden caution taken by each couple. The FBI suspected a professional gone rogue was behind the string of murders, but they couldn't find any thing that linked the victims except their celebrity status and their relationships. They were all dating a woman of the working class and each couple was either serious or getting there. That was when it dawned on him. They had all been in relationships like his with Jess, only they had established that they were both in it for the long haul. He still didn't know if Jess was as committed to him as he was to her. '_If he said yes how would he know what was real and what was for show?_'

He looked at Jess, the fear plain in his eyes. She felt her heart break when she saw it, she had wanted to protect him from that, but she had failed and it tasted bitter in her mouth. "Rick. You don't have to. I will understand and-" he cut her off.

"There are a few things I need to know before I make my decision." He waited until both women nodded for him to continue. "First, who would I supposedly be in a relationship with?" He thought he knew the answer but he wasn't going to risk misinterpreting the situation.

"Me." It was Jess who answered and he felt relieved but his silent question was brought back to the forefront of his mind.

He nodded in acceptance of that slight comfort. "Second, can you protect Alexis and my mother?"

Both women looked at each other, neither one surprised that he had asked that so soon, and then nodded their agreement. This time Shaw spoke. "The Un-Sub doesn't go after family members, but we will have them taken to a safe house outside of the city and assign a protection detail to each of them 24/7 until this is sorted out." Seeing the hesitation in his eyes she continued, "We will have a qualified teacher from the area, one who has passed a thorough check, keep Alexis up to date and organise a way for her to sit any exams she may be away for. We will keep tabs on the details at the school. As for Martha, she can stay with Alexis if she wants, or, if she is adamant, which I doubt she will be, we will assign a detail to her at her house with her partner."

"Why am I not surprised you know about Chet?"

"We asked around, got all the info we could before bringing you in on this. We didn't want to put you in an unnecessarily awkward position."

"Thanks." He smiled ruefully at her declaration. "Third," He turned to face Jess head on then. "How will I know what's real and what's not?" He hadn't meant to say it like that. He sounded desperate and unsure. He couldn't help that that was how he felt.

Jess was taken aback by the sudden pleading in his eyes as much as she was by the question and the fact that it had come up in front of an audience. Rick saw her hesitation and felt his heart sink. '_Had he misread her attachment to him? Had he assumed their relationship was more than it really was?_' He wanted to get out of sight quickly. He turned to leave but her hand caught his and she brought him back around to face her. He saw the determination in her eyes as she used her other hand to bring his face up to look her straight in the eye. He was about to speak again when she slid her hand around to the back of his head and pulled him into her as she kissed him. It took a second for the surprise to wear off and then he found himself deepening the kiss. She pulled away then, remembering the company they were in. She waited until he opened his eyes, he hadn't even realised he had closed them, and then she spoke. "Was that real…? Rick, I care about you more than I care to admit given our present location, you need to know that. While much of what we do in public may be for the job, everything that happens in private is just that, private, it will have nothing to do with my work or this case. If you have any reason to doubt something I've said or done, ask me when we're alone and I will tell you the truth. I won't lie to you, Rick, especially about this." She indicated their relationship by pointing first at him then at herself and back again.

He felt himself grinning and knew he had to look like a sugar hyped child having a lollipop waved in front of his face but he couldn't have cared less. He was happy, happier than he had been in a while and he didn't care who knew it. He wanted to wrap her in his arms again and kiss her until she knew how much her words meant to him. He stepped towards her and she laughed, sidestepping his advance but gave him a peck on the cheek to show that she did want some contact. "Down, Tiger. You'll need all the energy you can get to beat me later, no sense wasting perfectly good motivation by giving in that easily."

Shaw sat back in her chair watching the exchange silently. She wouldn't say it out loud, it wasn't her place, but she could see that, while he was definitely invested in the relationship she saw developing in front of her she had seen what he was like with Beckett and knew that something was off. She could see that he was pushing himself towards Saint-Clair emotionally, but it seemed more like he was pushing himself away from something.

"Tiger…?" He was being playful again and that gave her the reassurance she needed to get through hearing his answer. She wanted to encourage 'playful' as much as she could in the current situation.

Shaw couldn't complain, at least his pushing had lead him to something that become great. It was still early days, but she had confidence in him.

"Would you rather I call you 'Ricky,' again?" A mischievous grin washed over her face and a matching twinkle filled both their eyes.

"Well, now, that depends, doesn't it?"

"Depends on what?"

"It depends on where we are, who we're with and what we are doing or about to be doing?" A seductive smile over rode his features and she laughed again.

"Let's finish this later, when my superior isn't watching us." A flicker of embarrassment crossed his face before he regained control of the situation.

"Sure…sorry." He smiled at Shaw. "Fourth, do you want me to do it?" He had aimed the question at Jess and both women were well aware of the fact.

"I…um…" She looked into his eyes again and swallowed hard. "Honestly…? As your girlfriend…no. I want you to say no and throw it in our faces. I want you to stay out of any situation that would put you in danger. I would understand though, if you did, because that's who you are. You're the guy who's always willing to help out a friend." He stood there, stunned at her open confession, it seemed like this was the day for them, they just kept coming and he felt selfish but he didn't want them to stop. "As an FBI Agent…I want you to say yes. I think this case would benefit from your involvement. I want to catch this guy and I don't think I can do it without someone going undercover, and I want that someone to be you. You have a military background, so I know you can handle yourself to some extent and know how to follow orders…when you want to. I also know that you are more familiar with our procedures than most celebrities, considering your recent involvement with the NYPD."

There was a long pause while Castle sorted through everything he had just heard and everything he knew about the case. He considered the impact this was going to have on his family, but, strangely enough, over the last few days he had begun to include Jess in his definition of family. He had seen how heavily this case weighed on her and he knew that even after she went home from his loft she didn't sleep much. The case was eating her alive and the latest victim was the worst, they had had him in their protection but the killer had still gotten to him. Jess had started second guessing everything; he knew this despite her best attempts at hiding it from everyone. He had wanted to fix it, now he had his chance. "Partner," with one word he had her completely confused and had Shaw even more enthralled than before, if that was possible. "If we're going to do this you're going to have to get used to the term partner. Because that is what we will be presenting to the world." Deciding that they had covered enough heavy topics without any respite he took it upon himself to correct that oversight. "Besides, if I'm going to be working closely with you on this I will be your partner in crime…or is that partner in crime fighting…? Either way, like it or lump it, we're partners."

Neither woman could hide their smiles and Rick felt the mood change. He preferred it like this. He could think without the weight of expectations pulling at his mind. "So you'll do it?" Jess was mentally trying to adjust to the thought of calling him her partner, it was a surprisingly pleasant experience.

"Yeah, I'm in. Now tell me will I be spending my days here or will I continue at the 12th?" Jess suddenly remembered the stories she had heard about the famous Detective Kate Beckett and wanted to tell him to give up the 12th and Nikki Heat but knew she couldn't. As she had those thoughts she remembered the fear in his eyes when he thought she wouldn't really be his, that it would all be a lie, and her fears were brushed aside. She took comfort from knowing that he was hers and she was his, no Detective was going to get in between them.

"You'll need to continue doing what you normally would, only in a way that people will believe that you are in a serious relationship. If that means staying at the 12th, then that's what you need to do." Shaw answered for her, saving her from revealing her thoughts before she was ready.

"I can do that…Shaw, do you have papers for me to sign?" He knew she would, Jordan Shaw was not the type of woman to be unprepared in the event that she got her way, or if she didn't for that matter. That was just another similarity between her and Beckett. Shaw produced the papers and he signed them. They were basically the same as the ones he had signed for the NYPD when he first began to shadow Beckett. "Okay, Jess. Now can we go beat up on each other?"

Shaw shot a look at Jess. For her own part Shaw knew that Castle had phrased it in a way that would make it sound horrible and embarrass Jess. He had succeeded, and while Shaw felt a slight tinge of sympathy for the woman who had just signed up for a very interesting partnership, she couldn't help but play along. She did have a sense of humour, after all. Jess looked just as horrified as they had expected and hurried to correct any misconceptions. "He means _spar_… We are going to _spar_… on the _mats_… in the _gym _upstairs." Castle and Shaw both burst out laughing at her awkwardness.

* * *

TBC

**A/N: **This chapter was a lot longer originally, I split it into two so that it was both a manageable reading length and it seems to work better like this. I hope you enjoy.

Eliza


	11. When the Dog Bites

Disclaimer : same as always.

* * *

**Chapter 11: **_When the Dog Bites_

They had been trying to get a winner for over an hour but neither could out do the other. His mind had reverted back to his fight with the man that could very well be his father and even her not so gentle attempts to draw him back to the fight had succeeded for long enough to end a round; his fight had become purely reflexive and no offensive. He was acting on nothing but instinct. One thing Jess learned very quickly in this fight was that she never wanted to come face to face with a Delta Force marine when his head was fully in the game and he was at full strength. She had no doubt that, despite how well she had held her own in their match the day before, had he been trying to kill her she would have been dead before their contest had even begun.

At one point Rick had tried to let Jess win but she had made a point of lowering her performance to match his. She wanted to win fair and square or not at all. That was how she was and he loved her more for it. '_Love? Oh, great! Not again. Every time that word popped into his head when thinking about a woman it spelled Trouble with a capital T. He couldn't help but think that, despite this being how he wanted things to go, he was in over his head; and he was scared that he would fail or that she wouldn't feel the same and he'd be left broken hearted, like so many times before. Great job, Rick! Way to jump in the deep end before learning to swim!_'

Jess had just exposed herself to attack when Rick's phone rang and distracted him just long enough for her to correct her mistake and catch him off guard. She had him flat on his back in a second and was about to move to a choke hold when his focused mind took over again; he needed to end the fight and get to the phone quickly. She had been sitting on his chest so he swung his legs up and over, the sudden, violent move throwing her off and onto her back. He had rolled with her so that he landed on top of her and had her in the very choke hold she had been trying for seconds before.

He looked at her and smiled at the surprise in her eyes before releasing her enough to lean down and kiss her briefly before making his way over to his bag and grabbing his phone. "Castle" He was short and all business. Jess hadn't heard him talk to anyone like that and was amazed at how much he sounded like a cop, then she realised who he was talking to and it made sense.

"Castle, it's Detective Campbell from-" He cut her off.

"I know where you work Detective. What can I do for the homicide department this fine day?"

"We have some questions we think you can help answer?"

"Questions…? What happened…?" His first thoughts were of his family, but he knew she would have had a different tone and would have asked him to identify a body rather than answer questions had something happened to his mother or daughter.

"Can you come to the station?"

"Sure. I'll be there as soon as I can."

"Thanks." They both hung up and he looked over at Jess.

"Sorry, Jess, I'll have to get a rain check on the next round, I've got to go by the 12th. It seems that they have some questions I need to answer."

"What happened? Who died?"

"I have no idea. But Campbell certainly didn't sound happy."

Jess was about to reply when Harrison came in. "Sorry to interrupt but we got a lead on the poison used on Mathew Conner. It came from an industrial strength pesticide, our particular sample matches a batch that was reported stolen from a company called 'Bibbitty Bobbitty Boo Pest Exterminators.' I'm going down to talk to the owner now, you wanna come?"

"'Bibbitty Bobbitty Boo Pest Exterminator's, seriously? That's a horrible name for an exterminator."

"Yeah, but no one ever accused exterminators of being wordsmiths…So, are you coming or am I going solo?"

Jess looked at Rick for a second before answering. "I'll meet you there. I might as well give Rick a lift to the 12th while I'm heading out. Our lunch did get cut short after all."

Rick hesitated a moment. "Are you sure? I can catch a cab if it's out of the way…"

Jess turned to Harrison then. "Is it out of the way?"

Harrison laughed, knowing full well that it wouldn't make a difference to his boss; she had already decided she was driving Castle and he would just have to give in or go with her handcuffed. "No, surprisingly I don't even have to lie this time. It's just a few blocks from the 12th." He gave her the address and, when she nodded that she would remember it, he told her he'd meet her there, said his farewell to Castle and headed for the elevator.

"You see, Rick. It's on the way. Now grab that bag of yours and follow me to the car."

They enjoyed some non work related conversation as they drove to the precinct. The time went too fast for either of their liking. Soon they were pulled up out side the station and Castle was grabbing his bag out of the back seat. He walked around to her window and thanked her for the ride. He then leaned in and kissed her. She almost pulled him through the open window but decided against it. "Give me a call when you get out. I have a feeling you're going to want to talk to someone. Homicide cops aren't exactly known for baring good new." He assured her he would and wished her luck with her interview and, giving her another parting kiss he headed off to the Precinct, watching her drive away over his shoulder.

He was smiling as he made his way to the floor that housed the homicide unit. The fear of what he might learn upon arrival was minimal compared to the comfort of knowing that Jess was there for him if he needed her when he got the inevitable news. He barely noticed his surroundings. His direction was the result of knowing this floor so well that he would navigate it in complete darkness while he was asleep. His mind was focused on the day he had had so far and the woman who had brought him up out of his pain and made him smile like an idiot for the past hour or two.

While he didn't notice anything around him two Detectives certainly noticed him. Ryan and Esposito called out to him from behind their desks. When he didn't answer they got up to follow him. They assumed he was looking for Beckett to finally have it out about the fight, if you could call it that, the previous week. What they saw was that he made his way over to Campbell's desk and followed her and Bates into an interrogation room. They shared a confused look before racing into the connected observation room to watch. When they arrived inside they noticed that a uniformed officer had started the recording and Campbell was interrogating Castle. The fact that they had gone and interrogated their partner without mentioning it to either of them was not lost on them and they each made a mental note to make sure she never forgot again, but even more foolishly, they were trying to break Beckett's shadow, who every one knew she had been miserable without, and they hadn't given her a heads up either. Neither man wanted to think of the things Beckett could do to the overly arrogant cops if, no when, she found out.

* * *

Castle sat in the uncomfortable chair. He looked across the table at the two Detectives. Bates was standing, purposefully towering over him. It was an intimidation tactic that he had seen Esposito use a number of times; he had even used it himself from time to time. Campbell was seated opposite him, looking as though she didn't have a care in the world and was almost bored with the formality of the 'interview.' Castle was no fool. He had also seen that tactic used by Beckett. He quickly worked out that the 'interview' had been a euphemism for interrogation. He was a suspect for murder and he didn't even know who he was supposed to have killed. They sat like this for a while until Campbell finally spoke.

"So…Castle…you're a celebrity. You spend a lot of time mingling in high society." Castle knew immediately that it wasn't a question. She was priming him up for something. He remained quiet. "I'll bet you've rubbed shoulders with more than a few powerful people…maybe even been invited back to their homes for a drink." Again it wasn't a question. "Important people attend many of the same events as you do. Some of them actors, some models, other writers, fancy lawyers, mayors, senators…Is that right, Castle?"

'_Senators…why had she said that?_' He was really starting to get a bad feeling about this. "Yes…that's right."

"Tell me, Castle, do you ever get involved in politics?"

"Where are you going with this?" Castle's mind was racing and he had a really, really bad feeling about the whole situation.

"A man in your position and of your means would have a lot at stake during an election, wouldn't you, Castle." She paused a moment to watch him as he tried to figure out what was going on. "You have shares in a certain real estate development that is awaiting a permit to start building, don't you?" Again he knew this wasn't a question she needed him to answer, so he again kept silent. "Your ride along with the police Detective Kate Beckett means a lot to your career, doesn't it?" He felt his stomach tightening, whatever this was it wasn't a regular initial interview.

This wasn't the kind of interview or interrogation for just any person of interest; the questions were too planned, too focused on keeping him in the dark for that. She was trying to throw him off and Bates was the key. As long as Bates said nothing it would keep the suspect on edge, that was the theory, and it worked, he had seen it time and time again. If they stayed to the play book it would only take a few more questions and they would reveal their hand.

Castle smiled to himself as he remembered his training. They didn't know it but he had been one of the best interrogators in his unit and even better at withstanding interrogation. He could out last them. That wasn't what had him worried. He was worried that they had enough evidence to arrest him for a crime he hadn't committed. It was a basic rule when interrogating, don't make a threat you can't or won't follow through. So either they weren't very good interrogators or they could almost put him away. His hope lay in the fact that if they already had everything needed to convict him they would have arrested him rather than asked him in for questioning.

"Your relationship with Detective Beckett means a lot to you and your daughter doesn't it?" She was trying to throw him; she was leading him in one direction to use his confusion to catch a startled confession. She wasn't very good at this part, he assessed, she was far too obvious. "I understand what that must be like. We can all see how much you love her. I would kill for a love like that. Wouldn't you Bates?"

"Yeah, I would." '_There!_' They had thrown their hand. They had not only confirmed that he was a suspect for murder but they had lost the very thing that made Bates effective, his silence. Even better for Castle, they had given him the suspected motive. From there he could figure out who he was supposed to have killed, and possibly what evidence they had against him, to some extent.

He barely heard as she continued. "It's not easy trying for so long to win someone's heart and have them escape your grasp every time…" '_They think I did it to continue my ride along with Becket and, to help my real estate ventures. It was definitely political. Some one was definitely dead. It was someone he had had some level of contact with and who could have been seen as a threat to the development and my ride along- Wait a minute. Carter! He was the one standing in the way of the project's permit; he wanted to cut down on civilian ride alongs… He couldn't be dead. He had just told me he was my…no he wasn't' murdered, I haven't even made peace with him after the fight that- The fight! That's what they have on me! A public fight, my prints would have to still be on the door and I had a lot to lose if he won the election._' Campbell was still going on about how she wouldn't blame him for trying to protect the things he values. He was tired of this game. He was being forced to relive a nightmare, one that he had spent years trying to forget, but this time he really did have the upper hand. They thought they knew more about him than they actually did; they had a false sense of security. It was time to turn their little world upside down. It wasn't the same as if he had the chance to get revenge on his interrogators back in Kuwait, but it would have to do.

"Get to the point, Campbell. Who am I suspected of murdering?" He spoke calmly but with an authority he had mastered in war. He couldn't just come out and say that he knew already, that would look even more suspicious. He was very satisfied, however, at the startled expression on the faces of both Campbell and Bates. No cop was used to losing control of their interrogation to a suspect. Though he couldn't see it Ryan and Esposito had similarly unnerved expressions on their faces.

Recovering as quickly as she could she tried to take control back. "I ask the questions in here Castle. Not you. This is my interrogation and I will tell you what I want to tell you, when I want to tell you. Is that clear?" She looked smug, he was sick of smug people, Carter had been smug.

"I'll tell you what is clear, Daisy." She was thrown by his use of her first name, as he had planned. It was an added bonus that her first name also happened to be one of the few names that can take away and all semblance of power out of an interrogation by its mere use. "It is clear that you have very little natural ability at withholding information. It is also painfully obvious that I'm going to have to do all the actual work here… You suspect me for murdering a politician, the very one who stood in the way of my real estate plans, he also had to be a threat to my following Beckett, that leads me to about a half dozen in total, but he had to have been someone I have met, and it would have to be fairly recent, so that narrows it down to two or three. You wouldn't be looking at me if it was widely believed that I am on good terms with the particular politician, which leave one, Charles Carter." He watched in silent joy as Bates and Campbell exchanged uncertain, frantic glances. "I hope you see now that I don't actually need to be telling you any of this, but I will because I know how frustrating a dead end can be when you're sure you have your killer, you just can't prove it. I'll save you some trouble. I did not kill Carter. I couldn't have, I-"

He was cut of by Bates' outcry. "Don't pretend you couldn't do it! He was killed by someone who knew what he was doing! You couldn't have beaten me the way you did if you were as incapable as you claim!"

Ryan and Esposito were completely thrown.

"Detective Bates, if you will please let me finish before your next out burst it may save you further embarrassment." He gave the Detective a steady gaze until he backed down. "Now, as I was saying. I couldn't have done it because I was busy today and can, in fact, verify my whereabouts if you give me a time frame. Or I can just take you through my day." He waited but when he was met with silence he sighed and continued. "I woke up early this morning to meet with Carter at his home in upper Manhattan." He saw the triumph return to their eyes and decided it was time to truly crush their theory. "I stayed only a few moments as the news he gave me was fairly distressing on a personal level. We fought, it continued onto the street where I got in a cab and left. I went straight home. You can check the security cameras. Once at home I made a few phone calls. First to Detective Beckett," All the Detectives in the interrogation room and observation room were again caught off guard by the thought his alibi was a Detective who's word was basically law at the station. "She didn't answer her desk phone and I didn't leave a message. However, you can check my phone records." He could see their hope rising again and savoured the moment; he had drawn out the last vestiges of their hope only to crush it with the rest. "Second was to my mother to inform her I wouldn't be able to make it to my daughter's fencing competition and to ask her to look after her. We also exchanged angry words, but only briefly and it was mostly my anger. Third, I called my partner." He wanted to shout for joy at the expressions on the faces of the Detectives. It was more than shock and confusion, so much so that he couldn't even think of a word for it. "I believe you saw her yesterday, Bates."

"Her…?" Ryan and Esposito exchanged a glance that said it all on the other side of the one way mirror. "It can't be…the woman from the phone?"

"She was the woman I spent the afternoon sparring with at the gym. I'm sure you remember her. The way you were watching her leave suggests that you aren't likely to have forgotten her, not yet.

"I talked to her for a while on the phone, then I caught a cab and met her at her workplace; we spent the rest of the morning together. She even dropped me off for the 'interview.' Now that you have a full account of my morning there is something you can do for me. Carter claimed to be my father and, as he is your murder victim, you can get a paternity test done, in a very short time. Lanie has the necessary knowledge and equipment to do it in her lab. You are going to do this for me, because otherwise you will have to deal with all sorts of paper work that you won't have to if he turns out to be my father, and if he is, you have a next of kin who is willing to cooperate."

There was silence for a few minutes before Bates took out his mobile and called Lanie. He was organising the test when Campbell's question caught the attention of everyone listening. "We're going to need your 'partner's' name, Castle."

"Of course, how silly of me to have forgotten such an important detail… she is FBI Special Agent Jessica Saint-Clair." He felt a little guilty at how much pleasure he was taking from throwing them off, but they had tried to accuse him of murder, so he didn't feel too guilty.

* * *

As they were making their way down to the morgue Castle stopped and informed them that he was going to use the men's room. He walked off and left Bates at the door. While he was behind closed doors he took out his mobile phone and dialed the now familiar number. He was relieved when the phone was answered on the second ring. "Saint-Clair."

"Jess, it's me."

"Rick? How did the interview go?"

"It was an interrogation and I don't think they're planning on letting me go without a fight. What they have is circumstantial but I know their reputation. Once they get an idea in their minds they make the evidence fit their conclusion, not the other way 'round. Problem is everyone around here encourages them to do the right thing but these two are hard to actually pin anything on. You're my alibi, can you come down here and talk to them, and they aren't planning on making contact with you for at least a day to check it up. That way they can hold me-"

She cut him off before he could finish. "I know the type. Who do they think you murdered?"

"Senator Carter."

"Wow. They must think you're really good. That guy has bodyguards that would make half the men in the FBI think twice before trying anything…I'll be there as soon as I can, I might have to make a detour on the way but I'll have you out of their custody in no time."

"Thanks, Jess. You won't regret it."

She laughed and he was smiling again. "I know I won't, because you didn't do it."

"Man do I love you." He suddenly stopped, realising that that had actually come out of his mouth and he hadn't just thought it. "…I mean…um…"

She laughed again, this time louder and with more joy than he had expected. "I think this is a conversation we'd best have in person…we can talk when I get there."

"Oh…okay…well…I'll see you then…I guess…"

"See you then. I love you too." He heard her giggle briefly before she hung up. It took him a moment to realise she had been toying with him. When the realisation dawned on him he found himself smiling again. He replaced his phone in his pocket and headed out to rejoin the Detectives on their journey to find the truth of his parentage.

* * *

When he re-entered the squad room Castle found himself coming face to face with not only Bates and Campbell but Esposito and Ryan. The two newcomers appeared to be arguing with Campbell. Castle approached the group cautiously he hadn't seen any of the Detectives at the 12th fight with each other and he was unsure as to what could have caused it. "What's going on?" Castle asked tentatively.

"We were just…discussing different methodologies of crime solving." Ryan looked fairly proud of himself and Castle hated that he was going to have to rain on his parade.

"You know I know what you just said, right? You guys were arguing." Sometimes he wondered if Ryan forgot that he was an author and made his living by manipulating the English language. "What is the problem?"

"There is no problem." It was Campbell who cut Ryan off before he had even had the chance to open his mouth fully. "Detectives Ryan and Esposito were just leaving us to our trip to the morgue."

"Ah, I think I should probably clarify something here. I was asking Ryan, and I want him to answer…So, _Ryan_, what's the problem?"

Ryan looked a little unsure but spoke up when Esposito gave him a nod. "There's an unspoken rule that when you take a cop in for questioning you give their partner a heads up. We didn't get one and we want to know why." Ryan shot a pointed look at Campbell and Bates.

"He's not a cop!" Campbell had raised her voice now. "You don't need a heads up! He's our murder suspect!"

"He's our partner!" Both Esposito and Ryan retorted in unison. "You wouldn't like it if we took Bates in for an interrogation without letting you know!"

"Bates hasn't killed anyone!"

"And neither have I!" Castle was over the accusations. "Don't forget, _Detectives_, you have yet to prove anything, you're working on a theory, and need I remind you that you haven't even checked my alibi, yet?" He waited for his words to sink in before he continued. "Now, let's get this test done so I can go home." He indicated for them to lead the way.

"Actually, Castle, we will have more questions for you when the test is over. I don't think you'll be going anywhere for a few hours at least." Campbell looked too smug for his liking as Bates spoke.

"You can't do that! You don't have the evidence to arrest him! He can leave whenever he wants!" Ryan had jumped in angrier than before.

"We have enough to hold him." Bates seemed to be a little less sure of himself at the rage evident in Ryan's outburst.

"It's okay Ryan… really, it is." He leaned in closer so that no one else could hear. "I have connections." He winked at him and began to follow Campbell and Bates down the hall.

Ryan decide that he couldn't just let it go like that. He called out after them. "Beckett's going to hear about this!"

* * *

Down in the morgue Lanie was surprised to see Castle being escorted by two homicide Detectives, neither of which was Beckett. She had gotten a call to tell her to expect the Detectives and a suspect for a paternity test; they had neglected to tell her that the suspect in question was none other than Richard Castle. Something seemed very wrong when she saw them enter the room. If Beckett knew Castle was being investigated for murder not even the apocalypse would have torn her away from his side, regardless of the fight they had had. That was one thing Lanie was certain of. The fact that Beckett hadn't been informed of the situation didn't help ease Lanie's concern, especially considering everyone closely associated with the 12th Precinct knew the reputation the two Detectives had. Beckett's exclusion told the ME that Campbell and Bates had set their minds on putting Castle away and they didn't want any resistance. "Castle, it's good to see that you're up and about. I heard tell that you're coming back tomorrow."

"Yeah, that's the plan. Of course, being a murder suspect might be a little problem. Then again, it is always interesting to see things from a different perspective."

"Don't worry, Castle, we'll get this cleared up and you'll be on your way in no time." She gave him a reassuring smile. She knew the evidence wasn't there, if it was they would have arrested him already.

"I'm not worried, Dr. Parish. At least, I'm not worried about anything these two can do to me." The half statement was what got to Lanie. He wasn't worried about the two Detectives, but he left it open enough to suggest he was worried about something else. "Are you ready to do the test, Doc.?" He gave her a playful smile that inexplicably made her forget the questions nagging at the back of her mind, for the time being at least.

"Sure thing, Castle. Sit on the table and make yourself comfortable, well as comfortable as you can be on a morgue table." She indicated the stainless steel table to her side and took out her kit. He complied and she carried out the test. It took about twenty minutes for her to take the DNA samples from both Castle and Carter, who was lying on a nearby table top, then another ten for her to fill out the paper work and have it set up for the actual testing. "I'll have it ready for you tomorrow or the day after. I've set it as a high priority given the people involved…I thought it was best."

"Thanks, Dr. Parish. I appreciate it." A movement on the other side of the window in the door caught his attention. Lanie noticed his sudden smile and followed his gaze to the door as it opened to reveal Captain Montgomery and two people she had never seen before. One was a tall, well built man with dark hair who stood just behind the woman. She was just as tall and had an unmistakable air of authority. Both wore black suits and carried folders filled with papers. When they began to walk into the room Lanie noticed the badges and guns on their belts. "Jess, Harrison, excellent timing!" Castle stood from the table.

"Campbell, Bates, this is FBI Special Agent Jessica Saint-Clair and her colleague Special Agent Carl Harrison. They will be taking Castle with them and there won't be any argument. I have reviewed the interrogation tape and spoken to Agent Saint-Clair, his story checks out. Look else where." Captain Montgomery certainly didn't look happy with his Detectives as he spoke and Rick didn't want to be in their shoes. "Castle, it's good to see you again. I trust you're feeling better."

"Yes, thank you, Captain."

"Good…good." Montgomery was distracted, Rick could understand why, no one liked having the FBI down their throats, especially when one of their own was in the wrong. "You're free to go when ever you want."

Rick turned to Jess then. She looked all business and he could suddenly understand why she had such a great track record with confessions, unfortunately, he knew the fun side of her, the one that spent every possible moment giggling. He had to stop himself from chuckling as she turned her best 'no-nonsense' look on the Detectives who had begun to protest, despite their Captain's statement. The one look was enough to silence them in an instant.

"Mr. Castle is assisting with a federal investigation and by keeping him here you are interfering with said investigation. It has been made abundantly clear that you have no case against him and it has also been established that he was with me, at my office, at the time of the murder." She paused just long enough to let it sink in before continuing. "I suggest you open your eyes and find the actual culprit, before you force the FBI to press charges for obstruction of justice…understood?" She didn't wait for an answer before turning back to Rick, a mischievous grin playing on her lips. "Are you coming, _Ricky_?" She laughed again as the M.E. raised her eyebrow questioningly and Rick chuckled lightly.

Rick stepped towards Jess, "Mr. Castle...?" He turned back to Lanie. "Dr. Parish, this is Jess, my partner." The M.E. looked between the couple, searching for any sign that he was messing with her. When none was forth coming she gave in and reached across to shake the woman's hand, figuring that there was no sense in being rude.

"It's nice to meet you. I'm Dr. Lanie Parish, the M.E. here."

Jess looked her over quickly, assessing her reaction to Castle's declaration to determine whether the woman before her was going to be any kind of problem. She wasn't sure how she felt about her when she replied, so she was short at best. "You too, call me Jess."

Rick realised what was going through Jess' head and was entertained by the misplaced scrutiny but he decided to clear things up before they got out of hand, besides, he wanted Lanie to like Jess, he wanted everyone to like Jess now that she was going to be a big part of his life. "Jess, Dr. Parish is a good friend of Detective Beckett's and has been a great help in my research." He then looked at Lanie and continued. "Dr. Parish has probably saved my life a million times, when Beckett has been somewhat...irritated with me." He emphasized his attempt to reassure Jess by kissing her lightly on the cheek.

Understanding dawned on Jess' face as she realised that the only threat Lanie posed to her relationship with Rick was if she were to encourage Beckett to pursue him. Her best chance at avoiding that situation was to win the Doctor over so that she wouldn't want to have the Detective come between them. "Well, in that case, thank you Dr. Parish, for looking out for him." She smiled sincerely, now certain there was no room for misunderstanding her place with Rick. She wasn't usually possessive, but theirs was still a new relationship and she wasn't taking any chances, having already used the dreaded 'L' word.

"Please, call me Lanie."

"Thank you, Lanie." Jess got an idea. This woman was close friends with her only real rival for Rick's attention, maybe it wasn't a bad idea to get to know her, find out just how serious of a rival this Beckett was. "How would you like to meet for a drink sometime? I haven't met any of Rick's friends from the station and I would love to hear a different perspective on what he gets up to when he's 'researching'." Rick knew what she was doing, he could almost see the evil genius coming out in her, the cogs where turning, that was for sure.

"I don't know...I've been pretty busy lately..." Lanie was curious about the woman who had stolen Castle's heart from under her friend's nose and wanted to say yes, but she couldn't shake the thought that having drinks with her best friend's love interest's girlfriend would somehow be seen as a betrayal.

"Oh well," reaching into her pocket she withdrew her business card and handed it to the M.E. "If you change your mind, give me a call." She knew the woman's hesitation, but that didn't mean she was going to give in easily. "I'd love to meet up with you whenever it's convenient for you." She again smiled.

Castle gave Jess a quick kiss on the cheek and said, "Alright, time to go." Jess' smile brightened as he pulled away and she saw the unhappy glare he earned from the M.E. She was winning this little competition and Rick was unwittingly making sure of it.

She quickly looked around the room, "It was a pleasure, Captain, Lanie...Detectives." She turned back to Harrison and Rick then, "Let's head out, boys. We have a psycho to put behind bars...Where's your bag, Rick?" He looked around a moment, confused, and then he remembered.

"I left it at Bates' desk." He extended his arm to her and she looped hers with his as he led her to the door. He looked over his shoulder. "I will see you all tomorrow. Dr. Parish if you'll give me a call when the results come through, I'd appreciate it. Thanks." He then walked Jess out of the morgue, Harrison in toe. When they were out of earshot he turned to her again and laughed. She loved his laugh, it was a sound she would always associate with pure joy. The laughter increased as they walked through the doors to the homicide squad room.

"Very impressive, Jess." He then kissed her firmly on the mouth and was startled when she responded with enough passion to make him consider using the janitor's closet for more than storing cleaning products. Remembering that Harrison was with them he reluctantly broke off the kiss. "Very intimidating, Harrison. If I didn't know better I'd say the only thing keeping you from shooting a hole in the Detectives' chests was the fact that Jess was standing right there."

"How do you know it wasn't?" He managed to keep a straight face just long enough to make Rick second guess his statement, then both men began laughing. "But seriously, I think I'll pass on the congratulatory kiss, if you don't mind."

Rick was about to respond when Jess interceded. "What makes you think I'd stand for it anyway? A jealous girl like me...I might just shoot you both." Rick looked her in the eyes.

"You have no idea how hot that was." She smiled shyly, taken off guard by how proud he sounded when he said it. "Seriously, that whole scene down in the morgue was so hot I could barely keep my hands off you, but that right there...that was down right sexy." His grin widened when he noticed the red of her cheeks. He stopped by his bag and scooped it over his arm.

"Guys! Really...? You can't stop goo-goo eyeing each other for like five minutes. You're attracting _a lot_ of attention." He indicated the many Detectives who had stopped what they were doing and were now shooting glances at the couple. Rick didn't notice that Ryan and Esposito were among those watching them and as such their horrified expressions went unnoticed.

"Sorry, Harrison." Both Jess and Rick spoke in unison. They turned to leave and Jess wanted to link her arm with his again but knew it would only make her want to hold him closer. '_Why did he have to look so damn good in his dark camo cargo pants, tank top, sweater and runners? It was hard enough to keep her hands off him when he was in a suit, but this just wasn't fair. He had the toned muscles of someone who knew their way around a gym, they were fairly visible in the outfit he was wearing, and, as if he was trying to distract her, when he carried his bag over is shoulder like that it caused his muscles to bulge in the right places and she couldn't stop her mind from wondering what he would have looked like as a young Major in Delta Force when he was at the peak of his physical condition. Then again, she found it hard to imagine that he could have ever been more desirable to her than he was right then._'

Rick had started walking towards the elevator before he turned his attention away from Jess. She looked lost in thought. He couldn't help but notice that while she bit her lip when thinking the action didn't have quite the same effect on him as when Beckett did it. He mentally kicked himself for failing to force Beckett from his mind and for again comparing Jess to Beckett. His thoughts continued along those lines as they made their way onto the street and towards the black SUVs that were parked outside the main entrance. He was only torn from his musing as Jess, who was now walking in front of him with Harrison began to give her colleague instructions regarding the security tapes she wanted him to scan through and the warrants she wanted him to get for inventory records. "Oh, and let Shaw know that we got Rick without any problem, and tell her I'll be with him for a little while, setting out the plans for our first public appearance tonight."

Harrison gave her a knowing look before he replied. "Sure, planning..."

"Ha-ha, very funny. Unless you want desk duty for the next three weeks you'll have those warrants for me when I get back, oh, and those tapes had better have been searched with a fine tooth comb or there will be hell to pay." She had that evil smile again, the one that said, '_I dare you to push this, it can go one of two ways and one you wont like very much._'

Harrison half laughed, half gulped. "On it, Boss." He hurried towards his car. "See ya, Castle." He was climbing inside before Castle even replied.

"Later, Harrison." Grinning widely Rick turned to Jess who had opened the boot for him to deposit his bag. She was barely containing her laughter at Harrison's rushed departure. "You are an evil woman, do you know that?" She just smiled wickedly at him for a moment. "Of course you know." He threw his bag in the boot. "I saw you checking me out earlier. I think the whole precinct saw." Her face paled visibly then went bright red.

"I wasn't...I didn't...you're imagining...they didn't, did they?" Rick laughed at how flustered she had become. He closed the boot and stepped closer to her, ignoring the crowd on the street that bustled around them he took her chin in between his thumb and forefinger, tilted her head so that she was looking him right in the eyes and leaned in to kiss her. She responded immediately, drawing him deeper into the kiss. Her tongue pleaded for entry and he opened his mouth and let her in. He barely noticed as his back was pressed up against the car. He was too preoccupied with the battle for dominance that was raging between their tongues and was lost in the warmth of the woman who's entire body was pressed firmly against his. When the need for air was too dire to ignore any longer they broke apart, foolish grins spreading across their faces.

"Can I drive?" His question threw her into confusion and she gave him a suspicious glare. "I know a short cut to my place and Mother usually takes Alexis out for a day of shopping after a fencing competition." he said by way of explanation. She accepted his reasoning and gave him the keys. They jumped in the car and were on their way.

* * *

Kate Beckett had given up on her attempt at patience. She had been patient for too long. For the past week she had told herself over and over again that she would leave work on time and visit the man who had occupied her thoughts for the better part of her waking hours, she was even dreaming about him. It was getting ridiculous. Every time she tried to go see him something came up and she found herself unable to tear her eyes off the murder board until she was so tired she'd barely make it into her bed before passing out. She would have called him but it was not a conversation she wanted to have over the phone. She wanted to apologise, but she needed him to see the sincerity in her eyes when she did so.

She had taken her lunch break early and told the boys she was going to a cafe a few blocks away. She felt bad for lying to them, but she didn't want to tell them where she was going in case he didn't accept her apology. There was no point in getting their hopes up only to risk dashing them. The problem was that there was no way to avoid her own heart break if he refused her. She knocked on the now familiar door to the Castle residence and awaited a reply. When none was forthcoming she knocked again and waited a little longer. Again, there was no reply. She sighed heavily and walked back to the elevator.

Beckett caught a cab back to the precinct but got out around the corner. If the boys found out she had taken a cab they would know that she had gone further than a block or two, then she would have no peace until they found out exactly where she had been. Deciding it would be a good idea to actually eat something while on her lunch break she bought a hot dog from a nearby stand and continued back towards the precinct. It was a sunny day but the air held a slight chill. It was a beautiful day, provided you didn't forget a light coat.

It was one of those days that seemed to force the mind to want to sort through things, unfortunately for Kate her mind decided to focus on the issue of one Richard Castle. She knew she had feelings for him. People thought that she couldn't see it, but she could. It was all too clear how much she wanted to throw caution to the wind and give him her heart. The problem was that Kate had tried that before, with Will, and he had proven that her fears were well founded. Worse still was that he had been the safe option. How could she be expected to trust that the long shot would work when safe choice had failed?

Castle was a known womaniser, his two previous marriages had failed and the general consensus was that his play boy attitude had been an influencing factor, he was like a child and couldn't take anything seriously. On the plus side he was a brilliant father and was dedicated to his family, he had a child-like enthusiasm for life and brought fun back into her life, and he didn't take himself too seriously. She was confused. For every positive there was a negative. She was going in circles and every time she thought she had him figured out he would go and surprise her. He challenged her and kept her on her toes, but she wasn't sure if that was a good thing in a romantic relationship or a bad thing. She wanted to be able to settle down, grow old with someone, but he seemed determined to upset everything he touched and never leave anything alone. She hated having to clean up the mess he left in her life. It drove her to the brink of insanity. That was who Richard Castle was. And yet, she loved him. She was completely and irrevocably in love with Richard Castle.

As that thought crossed her mind a woman's voice caught her attention. The voice was authoritive and seemed to demand the attention of anyone who heard it. "Oh, and let Shaw know that we got Rick without any problem, and tell her I'll be with him for a little while, setting out the plans for our first public appearance tonight." Beckett looked in the direction the voice came from and was surprised by what she saw.

A tall professional looking woman was giving orders to a well built man in a suit. Both of them had badges on their hips and she could see the guns from where she stood. Castle was also following the woman, closer than Kate liked. The woman and Castle looked like Kate had imagined they often looked together, mismatched but somehow a perfect fit. It certainly didn't help that he looked at home in a casual outfit, nothing like the suits she was used to seeing him in. He looked muscular, fit, confident and, dare she say it, sexy.

The man seemed amused by her statement and made what Kate thought was a suggestive comment. The woman seemed unhappy about the comment, but Kate was fairly certain she was also amused. "Ha-ha, very funny. Unless you want desk duty for the next three weeks you'll have those warrants for me when I get back, oh, and those tapes had better have been searched with a fine tooth comb or there will be hell to pay." the woman had an evil smile plastered on her face. Kate had used the same expression on the boys in her team, it was a very effective tool.

The man looked unsure about whether to be amused or frightened. "On it, Boss." He hurried towards his car. "See ya, Castle." He was climbing inside before Castle even replied.

"Later, Harrison." Castle was smiling when he turned to the woman who had opened the boot for him to deposit his bag. She was barely containing her laughter at Harrison's rushed departure. "You are an evil woman, do you know that?" She gave Castle a suggestive smile that made Kate want to slap the woman really hard. "Of course you know." He threw his bag in the boot. He hadn't stopped her obvious flirting, now Kate wanted to hit _him_ really hard. "I saw you checking me out earlier. I think the whole precinct saw." Kate didn't see the woman's reaction, she was busy trying to calm herself down before she lost it and ran over there to shoot the slut and break some part of Castle. '_How dare he flirt with another woman! He was her shadow, her friend and her Writer Monkey!_'

"I wasn't...I didn't...you're imagining...they didn't, did they?" Castle laughed and Kate realised just how much she had missed his laugh in the week he had been gone. He closed the boot and stepped closer to the bimbo, he tilted her head so that she was looking him right in the eyes and leaned in to kiss her. Kate wanted to scream but no sound came out. The slut responded immediately, and deepened the kiss. His back was pressed up against the car. The woman's body was pressed against his and Kate wanted to run away and save herself from whatever came next but her body refused to move. She felt the urge to be sick when she saw the foolish grins spread across their faces when they parted.

"Can I drive? I know a short cut to my place and Mother usually takes Alexis out for a day of shopping after a fencing competition." The woman gave him the keys without further delay. They jumped in the car and he drove away. Kate couldn't believe her eyes. '_Had she missed her chance with the author? Even worse, had she just become the other woman? Either way, she needed to talk to Lanie, fast._'

* * *

**TBC**

**A/N: ** I made up every reference to businesses and geography; I know only what I've seen on TV and what a few people have told me about NY. Sorry but I really didn't want to lose my train of thought by looking things up.

I hope I didn't rush the characters too much, if I did let me know and I will work on slowing things down. If I didn't, I'd also like you to let me know.


	12. When the Bee Stings

Disclaimer: same old

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**Chapter 12: **_'When the Bee Stings'_

Kate walked on auto pilot as she made her way through the deadly, pale corridors. Her mind was every where and nowhere all at once. Her heart ached but it was the dull kind of ach that warned of sharp, blinding pain when the numbness wore off. She ghosted through the door and saw, without really seeing, her friend busily entering data into a computer. Had she been able to think about anything other than the sight of Castle making out with another woman that replayed through her mind on a loop she would have been horrified by how weak her own voice was when she finally spoke. "Lanie…"

The M.E. turned around abruptly. The look on Kate's face and the pain in her voice had Lanie worried. She was trying to determine whether she would be more relived if this was the result of Kate's learning about Castle's new relationship status or if it turned out to be just the oposite. She had seen how attentive Castle was to the new woman in his life and hoped that Kate's feelings for him weren't strong enough to break her like this, because there was little to nothing the M.E. could do for her friend if that was the case. On the other hand, if it was something else that had broken her then Lanie didn't even want to contemplate what the news would do to the already crushed woman before her. "Kate…what happened? What's wrong?" She indicated the very table that Castle had been seated on only a short while ago and Beckett took up the same position as he had.

Kate hung her head and closed her eyes for a moment, trying to calm her emotions long enough to create a coherent thought and verbalise it. "He kissed her!" She had meant to say it in a matter of fact way, instead it came out as more of a wail of agony. The moment the words had escaped her mouth the whole thing became real. It was no longer a distant, surreal thought. It was solid, cold, hard, fact. The numb that had been protecting her evaporated and her chest shuddered and she felt her heart break in half. The tears spilt from her eyes as the dam finally broke.

Lanie didn't even think before pulling her friend into a tight hug and tears began to sting her own eyes as she felt the sobs rack through Kate's entire body. They stayed there for a while; Lanie let Kate cry and Kate took full advantage of the rare opportunity to expose her vulnerability and not fear the repercussions. When her sobbing subsided Lanie relaxed her grip on the Detective a little. Kate took a calming breath and spoke again. "He kissed someone else, Lanie…he made the move, not her…and she's a freakin' cop!" Pulling out of her friend's warm embrace she began her venting process. "Couldn't he have made his statement a little less obvious? I get it! Really, I do. He wanted me, I threw it in his face, embarrassed him in front of his daughter, now he's rubbing my face in it!"

Lanie hated to hurt her friend but she needed her to understand the bigger picture, the picture that everyone else had been able to see but that she had blinded herself to. "Kate…" '_This is going to hurt me just as much as it is you._' "I know." Those last two words were enough to pull Kate back from the edge of the tirade she had been working herself up to.

"What…? What do you mean you know? How…? I just found out." Seeing the hesitation and pain in Lanie's eyes Kate felt what was left of her heart in her throat. "How long…?"

Lanie's heart broke for her friend. They were like sisters. She almost didn't say anything, but the desperation in Kate's voice and eyes tore it out of her. "I found out a little before you got here…"

"He came down here to brag?" She was furious now. '_He bragged to her best friend? As if, his bringing her to the Precinct wasn't bad enough!_'

"Actually, no…he didn't come down here to brag." Kate abruptly stopped the pacing she had taken up and looked at her friend questioningly. If Kate thought he had done something as low as that she wouldn't fight for him and after the pain Lanie had witnessed there was no way she was going to let her just walk away from a man like Richard Castle. "He was here for a…other reasons." Kate was wound up enough, so unless she asked Lanie wasn't about to turn her lose on the unsuspecting Detectives up stairs, however much they may deserve it. "She only came by to pick him up…Captain Montgomery had to bring her and her partner down…Castle actually looked a little on edge when I introduced myself…I think it's a safe bet that he wasn't planning on showing her off."

Kate was momentarily satisfied with the news that he hadn't wanted to introduce the woman to Lanie, but her enjoyment was short lived as she realised there were a few holes in the story she had gotten. It may have been the truth but it was definitely not the whole truth. "Why was he down here in the first place, Lanie…? What happened today that I don't know about?" She eyed her friend, warning her to give her every detail and leave nothing out.

"A lot happened today, Kate. For example I'm pretty sure a baby was born somewhere." She was trying to distract her from what she wanted to know. Kate would have none of it. She glared at her in a way that told Lanie that the gig was up, she would either have to follow this through or drop it now. She decided to follow it through. "Okay, Kate. I'll tell you, but you have to promise to hear me out before you do anything." Beckett nodded and Lanie began to summarise her observations. "Senator Carter was murdered this morning…stabbed in the back, puncturing the right lung…there is plenty of evidence to suggest that there was a struggle."

"Why are you telling me about someone else's case? What could this possibly have to do w-" Lanie cut her off with a stern look and a shake of her head.

"Do you want to hear the whole story, or not? Because I'll just shut up now and save my breath, it's no skin off my nose." That was a lie, she was now invested in helping her friend however she could, but there was no reason for Kate to know that.

"Sorry, continue."

"Thank you. So, as I was saying, Senator Carter's murder fell into our jurisdiction because his body was found about a block down the street from here. The case went to Campbell and Bates. It might just be me, I don't think it is, but Bates seems to have developed a disliking to Castle…I'm just saying it seemed a little too personal to be a result of the case."

"What does Castle have to do with their case, he's my…? Sorry, Lanie." She had been cut short again by one of Lanie's 'shut it or get smacked' looks.

"Anyway, word is that there are a number of witnesses who swear they saw the author, Richard Castle, having a heated argument with the Senator on the street about an hour before he was murdered." The surprise on Kate's face almost made this story worth it, almost. Lanie gave her a moment for it to sink in.

Kate struggled with that bit of information. She had maybe once seen Castle lose his cool, but never in a public setting. If Castle had fought with the Senator on the street then something very significant must have happened to set him off. She had been ready to kill him moments before but that rage had quickly turned to concern at that realisation. Noticing Lanie was waiting for her she signaled for her to continue.

"Just before you got here I learned that the techies found some foreign prints and some of them were Castle's…It seems that he had been inside the Senator's private study." Beckett struggled to hold in her comments. "Campbell and Bates brought him in for interrogation as soon as the prints were matched."

"Castle's their prime suspect?" She thought that everyone knew that Castle was incapable of killing someone, he was far too kind hearted and gentle to even defend himself in a verbal fight, let alone murder anyone.

"I'll forgive that interruption because that was pretty much my reaction when I found out… It turns out that Castle volunteered to undergo a test to assist in the investigation."

"What kind of test?" Now Kate was really concerned about what was going on.

"I think that's something he should tell you. It's not my place… So, they brought him down here for the test, I was working on that when you came in…I had just finished taking the samples when Montgomery brought Jess and Harrison down here for Castle."

"So that's her name…Jess…? You guys on a first name basis, already? She must be quite a girl." Lanie mentally kicked herself. She should have seen that one coming.

"No…Kate, I only heard her last name like once. Besides she asked me to use her first name, what was I supposed to do, say no, just like I did to her offer for drinks?" '_Crap! She hadn't meant to say that part out loud._'

"She invited you for drinks…? Who the hell does she think she is? Does she know you're _my_ friend…? First she steals Castle from me and now she's trying to steal you too?"

"She didn't steal anything from you, Kate." Lanie knew it was harsh but she had to get the message across. "_You_ turned him away, remember? _You _told him to back off and _you_ made him fair game for every other woman out there, Kate. Take _some_ responsibility… Besides, she was actually pretty nice, once she stopped assessing me as a possible threat that is."

"She what…?"

"I know, it was actually kind of flattering in a weird way…but it was cute the way Castle kept reassuring her…"

"Lanie…! How is that helping?" Had this not been a serious issue Lanie would have laughed at the expression on Kate's face.

"I'm just letting you know that if you pursue him, despite his relationship, it could lead to good things and bad things. There are so many possible out comes here, I wouldn't even know where to start…You could get your heart broken again if he turns you down. I won't lie to you, that is a possibility. If he leaves her for you it is also possible that you could break his heart…, not to mention it would break hers. They seem happy, Kate. You need to be sure you're willing to finish what you start."

Kate stood there, speechlessly looking at her friend. Her automatic response to the situation was a desire to steal him right back. She hadn't even considered the possibility that he could be happy with this Jess woman. Lanie wanted to give Kate the chance to take in what she had said so she was silent as well. Eventually Kate spoke. "I love him, Lanie…No, it's more than that…I'm _in_ love with him…I can't just let him go unless I know that she makes him happier than I ever could."

Lanie smiled at her friend. Kate had taken a big step forward and Lanie was determined to help her follow that through. She leaned forward leaning on the table top and grinning in a way that Kate knew meant she was scheming and for once Kate was right in there with her. "Okay, girl, here's what we're going to do…"

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**A/N: ** I know some of you have been wanting to see a little of Lanie and others have been waiting very patiently, I might add, for more Beckett. I hope you liked these last few chapters. Sorry it took so long, thanks for the patience. p.s. My sister wants to write something in the last sentence of this A/N that mocks herself, so here goes... "Sorry it took so long, my sister is a lazy editor and finds sims calling to her, thanks for the patience."


	13. Busted

**Disclaimer: Same**

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**Chapter 13:** _Busted_

Richard Castle was at his desk, his fingers typing furiously on his keyboard. He had climbed out of bed desperate to write. Rick had been struggling with the last chapters of 'Frigid Heat,' his final Nikki Heat book, for the past month but in the moment before he succumbed to the sleepy fog, made more enticing by the woman curled up against him, the solution was suddenly there. At his most calm it had managed to integrate itself into his very blood, filling his entire being and was now bursting through his fingertips. He felt like himself again, like the Rick Castle he had been once before, years ago, before he had gone to war, before he had truly known what it was to watch the life seep out of someone's eyes and the undying fear contort the lines of their face. This was the way it was supposed to be; just him writing, the words flowing easily, knowing a beautiful woman slumbered in his bed. It was what he had dreamed of. The nagging in the pit of his stomach that reminded him it was the wrong woman was pushed aside. The failed marriages and broken hearted months of his life had taught him how to ignore the pain in his chest and need to feel the one he loved standing beside him. So that is what he did. He ignored it and focused instead on the enjoyment he got from being around Jess and how well she had gotten to know him so well in such a short time.

Rick hadn't gotten so much written in a long time; as such he was reluctant to tear himself away from his work when he heard a knock at the door. He forced himself to get up when another knock followed. He knew he had to answer it soon if Jess was to have any chance of sleeping. He didn't know who would be knocking on his door but it seemed apparent that they weren't going to go away. He mumbled to himself as he opened the door only to stop dead. He certainly hadn't been expecting to see Alexis standing before him, surprise etched across her face.

"Dad…? Where are your clothes?" He looked down at himself and felt the blood rush to his face when he realised that he had only thrown on his boxers as an automatic action and was suddenly glad he had.

"They're…I…" He blushed even more. "Come inside, you're letting a chill in and, as you can see, I'm not dressed to deal with such temperature changes." When she was inside he closed the door and turned to her. "There's something we need to talk about."

"Oh, no, Dad…You're not engaged again, are you?" Her disappointment hurt, but he was also shocked that her first thought was that he was getting married. He wasn't that bad, no matter what his mother liked to say.

"No!" He was indignant at the thought that his own daughter had begun to believe that about him. '_Maybe he had been spending far too much time at the Precinct, away from her._' "But I won't lie; I am in a relationship we need to discuss." She walked in and sat down on the couch before indicating for him to continue. "Before we get into any of that, why didn't you let yourself in?"

"Forgot my key. Stop stalling and spill."

'_He had hoped he would be able to stall for a few minutes if only to pull his thoughts together_.' "Okay…. Here goes nothing." He took in a deep breath. '_Do it quick, like a bandaid_.' "Her name is Jess Saint-Clair. She's an FBI Special Agent and I really like her, she's here at the moment and I'd like you to meet her before you leave, I think you two will get along …"He had confused her and he could see it written plainly on her face. "I need to send you out of the city for a while. There's a safe house a few hours away ready for you and I'll ask your grandmother to stay with you and the FBI agents who'll be keeping an eye on you." He spoke so quickly that she was barely able to follow what he had said. Rick breathed in another deep breath and continued, cutting off the protest that had just risen to her lips. "It's for your protection. I signed with the FBI today to assist on a case and I'm the bait. We need to convince everyone that Jess and I are really serious." Rick caught up on the breathing he had missed while talking and waited for a reply. He wasn't waiting long.

"Are you two actually dating?" He could tell she was holding something back but he nodded in response. "Then of course I'm going to want to meet her. But…now that's out of the way…What were you thinking? You're going to play the bait! What does that even mean? What is this case? Why are you sending me away? I only just got back!" He cut her off again.

"It's for your safety. The guy's a serial killer and I have no guarantee he won't go after you or Grams. I don't want to send you away but I have to do what's best for my family-"

"You're what's best for our family!" She was crying…he couldn't handle crying right now, not when he wanted to cry at the thought of sending her away again. "What if this guy gets you? What will I have left?"

"Nothing's going to happen to me." He knew he couldn't guarantee that, but he would certainly try to keep his word, if only for her.

"What if it does?" Her eyes were pleading and they had wrapped their arms around each other without realising. He held her tighter.

"Alexis…you have Grams, your mother, the Detectives at the 12th love you, and Jess promised she'd be there for you, so did Agent Shaw… You'd be fine." Just then Rick saw Jess descend the stairs and walk towards them, her appearance gave no hint of the afternoon's activities. Rick leant closer to his daughter's ear and whispered, "Speak of the devil…"

Alexis raised her head off her father's chest and looked in the direction of his gaze. At the bottom of the stairs was a tall, red-haired, neatly dressed, professional woman. She had an air of confidence and strength about her that caused Alexis to take an instant liking to her, much like she had with Beckett. "Hi…" Her voice was weaker than normal, possibly because she had just been crying on her father's shoulder.

"Hi…" The woman seemed momentarily unsure of herself and that made Alexis like her more. She respected the family relationship. She wasn't likely to try and take the reigns and rule over the roost as the saying goes. More importantly she wouldn't try to push herself between Alexis and her dad.

"You're Special Agent Saint-Clair, right?" The woman blushed.

"Yeah…You could only be Alexis. I've heard a lot about you… I'd rather it if you called me Jess, though…all things considered." Jess gave Alexis a weak smile and tried to calm her breathing, she had never dated someone with a child before, let along an independent teenager. She knew Alexis meant the world to Rick and it was pretty daunting, meeting her for the first time, and the fact that she had still been thinking about her 'activities' with Rick when the meeting had been initiated didn't help her nerves any.

"Jess, then." Alexis gave her a warm smile then continued. "It's nice to meet you….So you and my Dad are dating, huh?" Jess blushed again. "I think that's great…He needs to smile once in a while. Promise you'll take care of him with this whole serial killer business?"

Jess looked between Rick and Alexis, shocked, but she was quick to reply. "I'll protect him with my life Alexis. You have my word." Rick and Alexis both smiled the same tender, bright smile. It was disarming and Jess suddenly found herself smiling too. "I'm sorry, but we have to get back to work. I need to have something to show for the afternoon away from my desk."

"Sure, thing. That's easy. The plan was to organise tonight and make it as public as possible, I have the solution. Just let me handle everything, I'll make a few calls and organise the whole thing. Trust me." His smile was even bigger now and there was no way she could have protested even if she had wanted to.

"Well…what should I wear?" She was unnerved by the mischievous grin playing on his lips.

"Let me take care of that. I'll have something delivered to your door in time for you to get ready…All I need you to do is organise how to get Alexis and Mother to the safe house."

"I've already got that covered, the boys are waiting for my call to meet us in your building garage…But I really don't know about the dress…you don't have to-"

"There is no point arguing, Jess. I'm buying you a dress for tonight and I want to see you wearing it."

"But, Rick…"

"I suggest you give in there, Jess." It was Alexis this time. Jess was in no position to argue with the teenager. '_Wow the Castles know how to team up on someone!_' "He will buy you the dress whether you agree or not and this way you don't have to pretend to disapprove when it shows up at your door…Actually, you're lucky you're getting notice. Beckett wasn't so lucky."

"You dated Detective Beckett? I thought you two were just friends!" Alexis was startled by the sudden anxiety in Jess' voice, it was clear that Jess had been uncomfortable with the possible competition.

"We work together, that's all. I swear there is nothing else going on." The couple looked each other in the eye. One was searching for reassurances and the other desperately trying to give them, all in one long look.

"Okay, Rick, I believe you." The words fell out of her mouth before she had decided whether she wanted them to, but she was glad to find that they were true. She believed him and it brought an enthusiastic smile to her face. "Now, I had better be on my way..."

"I'll see you out." She smiled and nodded in reply and turned to Alexis.

"It was a pleasure meeting you, Alexis. I'll see you later." They shook hands and Jess turned to the door.

Once out of the apartment he turned to Jess and spoke. "She likes you." It was so sudden and said in such a matter-of-fact way that Jess had to think about who he was talking about for a second.

"I certainly hope so…especially after that fight you two were having. I was afraid I'd have to sneak out before either of you noticed me." She was only half joking and Rick could see it.

"She does, I can tell." They entered the elevator quickly as he spoke. "And so do I…" He stepped closer to her, leaving a small gap between them. "I'm glad you didn't sneak off." She hadn't noticed but as he had said those last words she had closed the remaining distance between them.

"So am I." He leaned down and softly pressed his lips against hers. She responded by deepening the kiss. Their arms were once again holding each other close as their tongues battled for dominance. They pulled apart slowly when the doors began to slide open. "A girl could get used to this kind of treatment." She turned to walk out and it was then that they noticed the dumb-struck Detective standing in front of the now closing doors.

"Beckett? What are you doing here?"

Her hand shot out to hold the doors open and keep the elevator car from disappearing with its occupants. Though, if she were honest with herself, which she was trying to be, her real motivation had been to stop the doors from creating the privacy that may have found them in each other's arms once more. Before she could reply, the woman she found herself hating more by the minute cut in.

"So you're Detective Beckett? I've been anxious to meet the inspiration for my Rick's latest series. He's so talented, wouldn't you agree, Detective?"

Beckett tried to hide her disgust. '_He left her for a fan girl!_' "I'm sorry; I don't believe we've been introduced." She looked the woman up and down quickly before looking pointedly at Castle.

Rick knew what was happening; he had tried to avoid this meeting for this very reason. Though Jess had said she believed him that didn't mean she wasn't insecure about anything happening in the future. Whether Beckett realised it or not, she had just entered a competition he would be forced to ensure she lost and that Jess was aware of the fact. There was one other reason of course. He was still pining for Beckett and this was just making things worse. Rick sighed internally, not game enough to express the sentiment out loud. He had to phrase this carefully. "Jess, as you've pointed out, this is Detective Kate Beckett, NYPD. As you also know, I've been observing her activities at work." He indicated Beckett with one hand. Then with the other he indicated Jess. "Detective Beckett, this is my partner, Special Agent Jessica Saint-Clair, FBI."

Beckett's forced smile faltered slightly as Rick made the obvious distinctions between his relationships with the respective women. He had said that he observed her '_activities_', whenever that had come up before he had said that he was observing _her_. To top it off he had called this Saint-Clair his_ partner_, he had tried for a long time before Beckett had let him call himself her partner, yet he had never called her his, and here he was, giving away that precious title to someone else. '_Oh, hell no! He wasn't going to put her on the back burner. She would make that task hell for him if he tried.'_ It was time to execute Lanie's plan. Kate had wanted to speak to him before trying anything sneaky, but he had just issued the challenge, and Kate Beckett was never one to back away from a fight. '_If this is the game you want to play, we'll play_.' "Your partner, huh? You joining the FBI there, Castle?" She had seen them kiss, twice now, and she hated it, but they didn't need to know that. He opened his mouth to protest but she continued regardless. "It's okay, I know what you mean. I was just having a bit of fun." She extended her hand to the woman. "Call me Kate. It's nice to meet you." Her smile became semi-sincere when she mentally added, '_That's meet you as in M.E.A.T... You're going to regret the day you set your sights on Richard Castle_.'

"It's nice to meet you too, Kate. You can call me Jess…I have a funny feeling we'll be seeing a lot of each other." Kate hated the sound of her name escaping from that woman's mouth and she suddenly regretted giving permission for her to use it. Her smile was almost a mirror to Kate's; it hid the true nature of their thoughts, but not from Rick. '_As if I'm leaving Rick alone with you and not going to keep popping in unexpectedly to make sure nothing happens_.'

"Now that that's out of the way, is there something I can do for you, Detective?" Rick's tone didn't have his usual warmth and he knew it. He had to keep this on a professional level; not just for Jess' sake, but to protect himself from the anguish that only a select few could cause, and unfortunately she was one of them.

"Actually, I came to talk to you. I've been told that you're starting at the station again tomorrow, I wanted to catch you up on our case…and I need to ask you a few questions about your status in an ongoing investigation." Kate wasn't exactly lying, but that was certainly not all she had come for. She expected him to be caught off guard but not the reaction she got.

Rick's whole body froze, his heart dropped into his stomach. He took Jess' hand in his and squeezed; half giving, half taking comfort through the gesture. For her own part Jess had been reaching for his hand when he had taken hers. "I can stay with you, Rick…if you need me to." She wrapped her free arm around the arm attached to the hand she was holding. "I'll talk to Shaw…" Rick shook his head softly. He had known he would again be confronted by the day's events, he had just hoped it wouldn't be so soon.

"It's okay, Jess." The sudden stirring of emotions inside him brought tears to his eyes, but he refused to shed them. "You have work to do, so do I… I'll call you if I need to talk."

"If you're sure…" Jess could see the tears welling behind his eyes and it caused a lump to form in her throat. She hated to see him like this. "Call if you need anything, even if you just want someone with you."

He smiled weakly at her. "I will. Now get to work, I don't want a worried Harrison banging down my door."

Jess chuckled lightly. "He won't be banging down your door, Rick…I have a feeling he's not going to want to interrupt what he undoubtedly thinks we're doing… He knows I'd shoot him." That got a sincere laugh from him and she knew he would be alright. She leaned up and kissed him firmly, but briefly on the lips. "Don't forget to let me know what time you're picking me up tonight."

"I'll call when Paula confirms everything." He kissed her again before sending her on her way with a pat to her backside.

Jess jumped at the pat and shot him a mischievous look as she walked away. "Oh, Tiger, you are so going to regret that one."

"Then get out of here before I do something else I'll regret."

He matched her grin and laughed as she made a show of gasping in mock horror and hurrying away. "Love you!" She called over her shoulder and then disappeared out the door. He was again unsure as to whether he would be able to tell what was for show, especially the way she made a point of calling it out like they had been saying it for months, right in front of Beckett.

Kate stood quietly observing the interactions between the couple. It was abundantly clear that it would be harder than she had thought to steal Castle back. She felt a momentary doubt as Jess had used the 'L' word so casually as to suggest it had been in common usage between the two for a while. That doubt was eradicated and she had a surge of hope when she saw the uncomfortable look on Castle's face. If she was reading him right, she could assume she was still very much in the game. Kate's thoughts were cut off when she noticed his expression reverting to the shattered anguish she had seen when she mentioned the other case. She wanted to reach out and comfort him, but the ice in his voice when he spoke stopped her hand before it had really even left her side.

"So, you want to interrogate me too, huh? Campbell and Bates couldn't crack me, so they sent you?" He looked away and stepped back into the elevator car. Kate walked in beside him before letting the doors close.

Kate couldn't stop herself from jumping to her own defence and regretted it immediately. "I'm not their little puppet, Castle! And I'm pretty sure they could crack you without any help from me."

Rick turned to her then. Kate had never thought it possible but the cold, hard, dead look in his eyes scared her more than she cared to admit. Kate Beckett was not one to be frightened by a look, but this one scared her on multiple levels. It wasn't an angry glare, a frustrated or emotional stare down. This wasn't the Castle she knew; this Castle was, quite possibly, capable of murder. What scared her more was that it was the same look Dick Coonan had worn when she accused him of the murder of his brother and he had challenged her to prove his guilt. "Do you really know so little about me? I'm disappointed, Detective. But then again something tells me you will know exactly how that feels when your interrogation profits you nothing."

Deciding to redirect their conversation she spoke up. "Castle, I didn't come here to interrogate you, it's not my case, or to pick a fight." A touch of uncertainty touched his eyes but it was gone so quickly that, had Kate not known him well, she would never have been able to pick up on it. "I just have to understand what's going on before you start to shadow me again." His eyes softened and she released the breath she hadn't even noticed she'd been holding. Finding her eyes drawn to the softness of his eyes like she had been on so many occasions before she almost lost herself in them, but this lifeline to their previous relationship was cut when a sudden, intense pain and fear flashed behind his eyes and he was guarded again. Kate sighed when she could no longer read his emotions at will. She had missed his openness over the previous week and had felt her heart lighten immensely during the brief respite she had received from the moment.

The elevator bell chimed and the doors opened to his floor. "Ask want you want, Detective." Castle's voice wasn't as cold as it had been earlier but she still hated the distance in his words.

"Did you kill Senator Carter?" Kate wasn't sure how but she knew she had to be straight with him for the time being, at least in her questioning.

"No, I didn't kill him." There was more pain in his voice and it felt like someone had stabbed a knife in her chest when she heard it.

"What was your relationship with the victim?" They had entered his loft; he sat on his couch and was indicating for her to do the same.

"I met him once; this morning; actually…He called me yesterday afternoon and told me I would want to hear what he had to say. So I went…I was supposed to be at Alexis' fencing competition, instead I met with him." He was silent for a moment and Kate couldn't bring herself to interrupt. "We fought, but I didn't kill him, Beckett, I swear." Castle wasn't sure why he suddenly felt the need for her to believe him but he couldn't handle the thought of her not.

"I believe you, Castle." She looked him in the eye again. "You said you didn't do it, I believe you." She needed him to know that she believed him. The Detective in her would have been mortified had it been her case, but Kate needed to believe him. "I don't want you to talk me through any of it. I don't need to hear it and it could cause a problem if your testimony is needed in court, I just needed you to tell me you didn't do it." She would leave the topic of his test for another time, this conversation was getting depressive. "So, the Doctor cleared you for your ride along, huh?"

Castle was surprised when she changed the subject but was grateful none the less. "Yeah, he was very happy about the recovery rate, especially after the first night..." He pulled a face that would have made her laugh had he not just referenced an event she didn't know she was happy to laugh about.

"What happened on the first night? The boys didn't tell me-" Castle's expression cut her off. He had never actually seen Beckett concerned about him and was wary of the real reasons behind her concern. He was convinced it couldn't have anything to do with his health, she couldn't stand him, she had made that clear the previous week. "What?"

"Why _would_ the boys tell you what happened that night? It's not like it had anything to do with a case." Kate was horrified to hear the anger and confusion in his voice. Something was very wrong between them.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" She had lost her temper, meaning she had lost control, which only made her angrier. The problem was that she was angry with herself but couldn't stop taking it out on him.

"I mean exactly what I said!" Castle couldn't take much more of these back and forth arguments, it seemed like every time he saw her of late there was a fight with his name on it.

"What is wrong with you? Can't I be concerned about a friend?" Kate had no idea how he did it but Richard Castle could get under her skin like no one else.

"A friend, yes! A pain in the ass, '_stalker_,' no!" He used the word stalker to drive home a semblance of understanding that her message had been received, loud and clear.

"I said I was sorry! What more do you want?"

"To forget that you ever said it!" He had given in now; he couldn't keep his pain locked up inside anymore. "Okay? Are you happy now, Detective?"

"I didn't mean it!" She wasn't sure why she was fighting about it; she had planned on talking this through with him, calmly. "I didn't mean what I said and I didn't mean to hurt you!"

"Yes, you did!" He had begun walking to the front door. "It was written all over your face. You meant it to hurt." He swung the door open. "Congratulations, Detective, you succeeded! Now _please_ leave me alone. I have some calls to make and a date to organise before I return to the precinct tomorrow." Seeing the angry, hurt, confusion in her eyes he waited until she was on the other side of the door before finishing. "Don't worry, I'll follow someone else until I'm finished the book. You'll barely see me." With that he closed the door and walked back to his desk to organise the date and a dress for Jess. He made his calls and was glad when not one of his connections asked as to his mood. He texted Jess to let her know the details, not in the frame of mind to talk to anyone.

Remembering that Alexis was in the apartment he hurried up to check on her but was relieved when he noticed that she was singing along to a song on her iPod, the head phones in her ears. Little did he know that she had actually been listening to the whole thing and had put the head phones on when she heard him walking towards her room.

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**TBC**...


	14. Opposing Solutions

Chapter 14: Opposing Solutions

When all the organising was taken care of Rick sat back at his desk to make use of his earlier stroke of genius. Luckily for him he had been writing up an argument between the two main characters. He used the frustration and anger he felt at his own situation with Beckett to give life to the scene. He hated exposing so much of himself to the general public, but for the most part they would just attribute the passion in the fight to his skill with the written word. Such assumptions had saved him from embarrassment in the past. A prime example of that fact was that his readers had accepted that Rook's feelings for Nikki had been purely fictional, at least for the most part. In fact that whole book had been him trying to sort through his feelings for Beckett and was his way of asking her to make things clearer for him regarding his standing with her, either she had not realised this or she had chosen to ignore it; which was answer enough now that he thought about it.

Rick had grown to love his characters, every one that he wrote became a part of him, if they hadn't started out that way, and they were his closest friends. As such, he despised what he was putting Rook through. It just didn't feel right to write a love affair between Rook and Nikki, and by extension himself and Beckett, when they couldn't even be civil when in the same room and thinking about what could have been between them made it so much harder for him to pull away from her. It was only as an after thought that he realised it would also put an added strain on his still new relationship with Jess. So he channelled all his inner turmoil into his writing.

He had opened the floodgates and soon every emotion he had felt over the past week surfaced. The strongest of which were heartache, loss, confusion, anger, hatred and he winced as he realised that most of his anger was directed at himself for being so stupid as to believe that Kate Beckett could have ever felt anything for him and for screwing up his only chance to talk to his father about everything that a son would discuss with his father. The realisation that he would never be able to use the word 'Dad' except in reference to someone else's father hit him as hard as Beckett's rejections had. Suddenly overwhelmed by the weight of his pain Rick walked over to the liquor cabinet and took out a bottle of vodka. Returning to his office Rick locked the door then leaned back against it and allowed himself to slide to the floor. He didn't want Alexis to witness what he was about to do. The cold hard wood that held him up gave some small comfort to him. The solidity of the door was one of few things that offered a taste of peace to his mind. Another was the ability of the full bottle in his hand to create some blessed gaps in his memory and provide him the knowledge that there was a moment during this time that would hold no painful memory for him, even if it meant no memory at all. Unscrewing the cap he lifted the bottle in a silent salute. Then he pressed its lip to his and began to purge himself of thought.

* * *

Kate raced down the corridors and into the morgue. She had barely cleared the door when she declared her presence. "Lanie!" Startled out of her thoughts the ME looked up at her friend. "Lanie I think I screwed up."

"What? How…?" Lanie was completely baffled as to what Kate could possible have screwed up so badly that she had come flying in like a bat straight out of hell and the confusion was plain on her face.

"Castle…I got in a fight with him…" Kate looked away; Lanie had worked hard to formulate the plan that certainly didn't include a direct confrontation with the man.

"You…wait…." She closed her eyes for a moment and touched her pointer, the one that had just been pointing at Kate, to her lips as if to 'shush' herself. "Let me get this straight… You went to his apartment to talk things over and get back on his good graces so you could have a leg to stand on tomorrow when he starts following you again, as planned, but you get in a fight with him instead…?"

"Yeah…" Kate bit her lip and raised her eyebrows, like a child asking as to the nature of her punishment for breaking something precious of her father's.

Lanie nodded her head as a natural reaction to the shock. "You got in a fight, with _him_… The least confrontational man I know and you manage to get in a _fight_ with him…" Lanie could barely believe it. It was so surreal that she almost laughed. Kate stood there looking at the ground. She opened her mouth to respond once or twice but quickly closed it again. "Girl, I'mma smack you." Lanie shook her head in amazement. "How did you manage that?"

"Would you believe bad timing?" Kate knew it wouldn't work but there was a glimmer of hope.

"No. Not with that look in your eye. Besides, Castle isn't the type to call any time for the two of you to be together 'bad timing'… What did you do?" It took a surprisingly short time for Kate to retell the story, though she left out the look in his eyes that had frightened her so much. She still wanted to understand that facet of his character and why she had never seen it before, but more importantly, why she had seen it then and where it had come from, before she brought it to the attention of others. "Okay… We can still fix this. It makes it harder that he doesn't intend to see you again, but we can take care of that little hiccup. You just need to be extra sweet tomorrow, also, dress sexy, not overtly but practical yet sexy. You need to lure him in with all you've got; at least long enough to catch his attention. Once you've got his attention we can continue to the next step." Kate's face brightened. She had been worried that she had ruined her only chance.

"But how do we get him to work with me tomorrow?" That was the only thing so far that Kate hadn't been able to understand.

"Easy. You have a certain reputation in the precinct, use it. Talk to the other Detectives, tell them you don't want them to let Castle follow them, call in a few favours, talk to Montgomery."

"Lanie, I'm not telling everyone I work with that I have feelings for the guy!"

"You don't have to! That's the beauty of your rep. You simply tell them you don't want him following them, they'll listen, they respect you and, dare I say it, most of them already know what's between you and would jump at the chance to help you out."

"Lanie…!"

"What? It's true."

"I've got to get back to work. Thanks for the help." Kate smiled and turned to leave; hope once more filled her eyes.

"Oh, and Kate, no more fights with Writer Boy, okay?"

"I'll try." They laughed a little before Kate left. They both knew that, while she hated the idea, Kate would make sure word got around that Castle was hers and that the other Detectives would respect that.

* * *

Jess was beginning to worry. She hated worrying, it twisted her stomach into uncomfortable knots and put her on edge, not in a good way. She had called Rick on his house phone and mobile, no one was picking up. He hadn't communicated with her since he told her the details for their date that night. It wasn't like him to suddenly drop off the face of the planet. "Harrison, I'm going to Rick's. Call me if you hear anything."

"Sure thing, Boss." She would have been leaving to get ready for her date soon anyway so it wasn't a huge ask. The thing that amazed him was that Jess was going to spend hours getting ready to go out with someone; he knew that she usually only put about a single hour in, tops, not plural. It was good to see her excited about someone again; she hadn't been like this since Will left.

"Thanks, wish me luck." Despite the feeling that something was wrong she began to feel a little giddy at the idea of a fancy date with Richard Castle, she wondered what he would do when it was so public, given that their only other actual date had been a very private affair.

"You won't need it, but just in case, good luck!" Jess sent a bubbly smile back at him over her shoulder as she rounded the corner to the elevator.

Arriving at his door Jess knocked a few times and waited for Rick to answer. A few minutes passed and she tried again. After repeating this cycle she called his mobile and house phones. No answer came. She knocked again. Luckily Alexis had just taken her head hones out of her ears and gone down to the kitchen for a glass of water when Jess recommenced her knocking. The moment the door opened to reveal Alexis Castle, healthy and looking happy Jess sighed in relief. "Thank goodness, I was about to call for back up and break down the door."

Alexis looked puzzled but answered with an uncertain "Hello, Jess?" The Agent's greeting had her thoroughly confused.

"Hello, Alexis." Jess replied sheepishly, realising that the teenager probably didn't know what she was talking about; otherwise she would have answered the door earlier. "Sorry, it's just that I've been calling for a while and no one answered and then I came here and have been knocking for several minutes. I thought something bad might have happened." Alexis lead the woman into the apartment after closing the door behind her.

"Sorry, Jess, I had my iPod in my ears and Dad's probably lost in his book again." She indicated the study. "He should be in there." She picked her cup off the cupboard and turned back to her room. "I don't mean to be rude but I have to pack for this 'vacation' Dad insists I go on." They smiled to each other, both knowing this was going to be one of the furthest things imaginable from a vacation for the teenager.

"I understand… I will look after him, Alexis, I promise." Alexis nodded her acknowledgement of Jess' attempt to reassure her.

"I know you will, Jess. I just hope he looks after you both and doesn't do anything stupid." They laughed and Alexis went to her room, leaving Jess to approach the study.

The door was locked. '_Great, another thing out of place._' She thought to herself. "Rick…? Can I come in?" No, response. "Rick, it's Jess. Open up." Again, no response was forth coming. "Rick, I know you're in there! Open the door!" A slight murmuring was heard from the other side of the door and then the lock clicked open. She didn't miss a beat. Jess was through the door in no time and taking in her surroundings. There was an empty bottle of vodka in his hand his hair was dishevelled, and his shoulders were slumped. Looking into his eyes she could see all the pain that was now so obvious and accentuated by the tear stains that ran down his cheeks. His eyes were puffy and red. He had been crying and judging by the tipped over desk chair, the books that no longer stood proudly on their shelves but lay strewn about the room as if they had been thrown indiscriminately. "Oh, Rick…" She stepped closer to the man whose life had so recently been turned upside down. Jess pulled him into a tight embrace.

Rick was still for a moment, fighting to regain control of his thoughts and feelings, but his body mirrored his resolve as it crumbled into Jess' arms and tears once again spilled freely from his eyes and sobs tore themselves from him. They stood like this for several minutes while he let her provide the comfort he needed and she so desperately wanted to give. "Thanks." It came out broken and Rick was surprised by how little it sounded like his voice.

Realising that his words were a sign that the moment was over Jess pulled away, but she gave him a light kiss anyway. She looked at him a moment longer before speaking. "We don't have to do anything tonight, if you don't want to. We can stay in and put it off until tomorrow."

Rick smiled at her; she was trying to give him the space from the world that he knew he should take. The problem was that Richard Castle didn't do space. He had learned long ago that internal reflection was never a good thing when he was in pain. Rick coped with problems by burying himself in his work or by busying himself with social activities. That and his thoughts were too fuzzy for it to register that he might just need to do that. "No, let me just get ready and we can go." _'Did he actually just slur his words?'_

"Rick, we still have a few hours and you really need to sober up before I even think about letting you leave the apartment." He nodded his head in agreement.

* * *

**T.B.C...**

**A/N: **Sorry it's short and unedited, I really wanted to get this up because I know it's been a long time in coming. Thank you all for your patience while I was doing my finals, though you didn't know that was what was keeping me. I passed, just in case you were interested. I am now Certificate 3 qualified in Child care. Woo hoo!**  
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	15. Late Night Clarification

**Disclaimer: still own nothing, never will.**

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Chapter 15: Late Night Clarification

Kate waited until her team was the only one in the bull pen before addressing the issues she wanted to, they were due to work late again anyway as they had only recently returned from the primary crime scene of their new case. A young girl had been found murdered behind the gymnasium of a high school by the grounds keeper, thing was that she wasn't a student there as far as the keeper knew, there was no way to identify her from what was at the scene and non of the contacts listed for the school were answering their phones. "So, I heard Castle made an appearance while I was out."

Both men stopped what they were doing and exchanged a terrified glance before looking at her. It was Esposito who spoke up first. "Yeah, a few witnesses put him in a heated argument outside Senator Carter's house an hour or so before he was killed."

"Lanie told me...my question is, why didn't you tell me?"

Ryan and Esposito spoke at the same time. "We didn't...We weren't sure how-" She cut them off.

"It's okay, I get it. But I know now, so you might as well tell me everything _you_ know." She gave them a look that left them no room to argue, not that they wanted to.

It was Ryan who spoke this time. "We spotted Castle walk in and go straight to their desks. So we followed them and watched from the observation room. Castle gave us one hell of a show... I swear, I haven't seen two cops flounder in there as much as they did in my entire life." Both men laughed but Esposito explained when he was the confused look on Beckett's face.

"You see, Boss, he turned the entire thing around on them." Kate wasn't sure if she believed what she was hearing, but when she remembered her own attempt at interrogating him when they had first met it dawned on her that it just might be possible that they were being completely honest, it had been one of the most infuriating experiences of her professional life after all. "Seriously, he was the one running the show by the time they were half way through. Campbell's face was priceless and Bates wasn't much worse, especially after Castle pulled him up for interrupting what he was saying only to humiliate himself. I mean, the guy cut Castle off when he was giving them his alibi only to reveal that Castle kicked his butt to the curb in a sparring match." Esposito's grin broadened. "If he hasn't had some kind of training to resist interrogation, I'm a monkey's uncle."

Ryan carried it on. "We had a little argument while Castle was in the men's room. They figure that they didn't have to give us a heads up because he's not a cop... It turns out they were planning on keeping Castle until they found the evidence to actually arrest him. When they basically admitted as much Castle said that we shouldn't worry, that he has connections. It looks like he was right. He was out of here in about half an hour."

"No joking, Beckett, the man is masterful."

"So, what do you know about the case?" She only half believed them, especially when it came to Castle beating a cop in hand to hand, but that could wait.

"Well, Castle was their main suspect, until a couple of Feds sowed up, word is the Cap. told Bates and Campbell to drop him from the list, something to do with a federal investigation. If I had to guess, I'd say the woman was his alibi; in the interrogation he mentioned a Special Agent Jessica Saint-Clair... They never had much evidence anyway... They're waiting on the results of Castle's test... You know who the victim was and I'm pretty sure your source would have told you what evidence they have. Last I heard they plan to pick it up from there in the morning."

"What exactly was this test, Lanie didn't tell me."

Once again it was Ryan who answered. "Actually, Beckett, I don't think we should either. It's kind of personal and I don't feel right about telling anyone without his permission."

"You guys didn't have any trouble giving him my mother's case file without mine." She arched an eyebrow at them, but continued when their expressions turned to that of shock. "Oh, come on! How else would he have gotten it?"

"True, but we've seen how that worked out, and you had had a few years to work through it, we figured you could handle it. Besides, that was something that you had already told him about, so it wasn't exactly something that would change the way he acted around you. He knew from the start that you had gone through something like that, then you confirmed it and all we did was give him some of the more minute details... This is brand new to him. If this test comes back positive it will change his life forever... Today has held enough shock for the man, if we add the betrayal of his privacy to that... I don't even want to contemplate what that will do to him."

Deciding to let that go for the time being, she could always pry it from Castle later, she considered everything they had discussed. Kate didn't want to ask her next question but she knew she wouldn't get an answer if she didn't. "What do you know of this Agent Saint-Clair and the investigation?" She knew the two were romantically involved, but when would that stop Castle from getting in on an interesting case, and if Castle was in on it, as she suspected he was, it would be interesting.

"Not much about the case. I think Lanie mentioned that Saint-Clair said something about putting a psycho behind bars. I guess if it had been a kidnapping or something like that she would have said they had someone to find, but that's all speculation, based on a very vague comment. Sorry." Esposito gave her an apologetic smile that told her he was sincere. "As for the woman... we know she and Castle have been seeing a lot of each other over the past week. Actually, they only met when he fell and gave himself a concussion. He said she was the one to patch him up after wards."

Ryan took over the telling. "When I called him the other night she was at his place. He said that she was a good friend and that she had been keeping him company while Martha and Alexis were out of town. Apparently she would go over to his place for dinner or just to spend time together when she left work before midnight, or something like that. I heard her mention something about him being a good..."he trailed off when he realized that she might dislike the choice of words as much if mot more than he had when he first heard them used in the context of Castle with a woman who wasn't Beckett.

"Go on, Ryan, he's a good...?" _'Why did she get the feeling she wasn't going to like what he said next?'_

"A good 'sounding board'." She was right, she didn't like what she heard. Of course she knew he would, at some point in his life, act as a sounding board for someone else, if he hadn't already, but that didn't mean she wanted to hear it, or that it didn't hurt to know that he was sharing something that she held so precious with someone else. Kate thought back to how she had felt watching as Castle built theories with Agent Shaw, right in front of her. She had told him that she didn't like him doing it, but she hadn't explained why. If she was completely honest, she didn't even understand why. All she knew was that it was something they had shared, whether in public or in private it was something that no one else did as well as him, it was in those moments, when they were looking deeply into each other's eyes, finishing each other's sentences and connecting on a level she had ever connected with any one else that she felt complete. Like everything was the way it was supposed to be. And here he was, doing their thing with some one he barely knew, without a second thought. It felt almost like he was cheating on her, but then, how could he cheat on her if they weren't even together. She had made it very clear that they weren't together and she didn't expect them to be together any time in the future. Inexplicably she felt tears begin to well up behind her eyes so she blinked them back, refusing to shed them in front of her team.

Kate knew she had to change the subject or her unshed tears would return to sting her eyes. "Okay, so what do we do about Bates' and Campbell's attitudes?" The two men looked hopeful again. They knew that Beckett would have a plan and was only opening it up to them to give them the chance to share in the revenge, it was, after all, revenge on behalf of the whole team, even the one who was off with his new partner and had no idea of the plotting taking place in what he had once considered his home away from home.

"I think I speak for us both when I say that we'll be happy to watch and learn from the master, for now at least." Ryan nodded his agreement. The grin that spread across her face was quickly picked up by the other Detectives as they recognized the sign of her devious mind making a decision. Kate filled them in on the plan before they all went to work on their newly designated duties. Ryan settled at his computer to type up the note. Esposito went off find his old tool box, he was sure he still had a full tube in there somewhere. In the mean time Beckett gloved up and made herself busy in Bates' work space. She hoped she beat them in to work the following day, there was no way she wanted to miss seeing their reactions.

* * *

**TBC...**

**A/N:** I know, long time no update, I actually had a chapter written, then I realized it was rushing some aspects of the story so I rewrote it and then I decided to write this up and put it in here instead because I think we all like a little Beckett every now and then. Plus, I needed to show how some things that are to come actually start. Enjoy.**  
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	16. Lost Opportunities

**Chapter 16:** Lost Opportunities

The night went off without a hitch, well that is after Rick had sobered up, which involved a bit of vomiting, a hot shower and some much needed sleep. Jess had looked stunning in her knee length, black, v-neck dress. It was elegant, simple, just like their relationship. That was one of the things Rick liked the most about the way things were between them. There weren't hidden agendas, it wasn't over the top or all consuming and it left room for them to be themselves. The restaurant he had chosen was the exact opposite, it was ostentatious and so over the top that, had the portions been a half decent size, thereby providing the necessary stomach contents, he would have been sick. The in your face, superior attitude of the majority of the patrons was enough to remind him how lucky he was that he could choose to spend his days with a very different crowd.

The press had been tipped off as to the couple's dinner plans, thanks to Rick's connection, namely Paula. They had spent most of the night trying to enjoy what they could of their date between the interruptions of paparazzi and fans. The paparazzi were more discreet than the fans and they were easily pleased, all Rick and Jess had to do was give them a few good shots and then they would leave them in relative peace. They obliged, happy that the evening was proving successful, by morning photos of them kissing over a romantic diner would be circulating the Internet and the gossip columns would be a buzz with news of 'Richard Castle's newest flame'_._

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As Rick closed his eyes and began to drift off to sleep his mind revisited the events of the past few days but lingered on the last few minutes he had with his daughter before sending her away and tearing his heart out in the process. They had gathered in the garage of his apartment building, him, Jess, his mother, Alexis and a few FBI agents. He hugged and kissed his little girl and held onto her as long as he could before releasing her to the care of the agents Jess had chosen. He knew they were the best in the area when it came to witness protection, but nothing could ease the fear that gripped at him. He had held onto his mother as fiercely but at least he knew from experience that she could look after herself and would look out for his baby. They had all cried, him because he was loath to part with them when he wanted nothing more than to be surrounded by their love to help him through, and they cried because they knew there was a good chance that they would never see him again, he was a target and he was basically alone. They were each other's worlds and not one of them wanted to let go of any of the others for any reason. On that note he fell asleep, one arm holding Jess close and the other cuddling his pillow tight against his head.

* * *

Rick only slept an hour or two before he woke up for some unknown reason and couldn't get back to sleep. Looking at the clock he decided that he might as well go to the precinct early and try to find someone else to follow until he finished. _He wasn't sure why he was still going in, he had all the research he needed and any questions he had he could ask Jess. Perhaps he just couldn't quit the life of a Consultant cold turkey, he needed to lower the doses over time, work in the same place, then leave all together. Yeah, that was it, it had nothing to do with a certain NYPD Detective._ He got dressed quietly and left a note for Jess before heading out into the city.

When he arrived at the station no one would talk to him, every Detective he approached came up with some transparent excuse to run off without answering him or to simply deny him the choice of following them for a while. It wasn't until his only options were Bates and Campbell that he actually managed to talk to them in the break room. "Look, Castle, under any other circumstances we'd happily let you tag along, but... we just got the results from Dr. Parish... He's you're father, Castle. We can't have you working on your father's case, it could go against us in court."

"It's true?" Rick felt an icy hand grip his heart. He would never truly know his father, the best he could do would be to learn what he could of the man's public image, but Castle knew better than anyone how misleading those personas can be, how deceptive they were designed to be. Bates said something but he couldn't hear. He felt as though he was on a sinking raft in the middle of a storming ocean with no land or salvation in sight. He had missed his chance, and this one would never come around again. He would have to live with the knowledge that the only time he had met with his father was marred by hate, anger and spite and that it was he who walked out in the end. "Mother said... but I didn't really believe her." Rick's eyes stung and his throat constricted.

If he didn't know better Rick would have sworn he had just been punched in the stomach. Castle turned and walked away without further comment. He found himself walking towards Beckett's desk but changed directions when he saw her step around the corner ahead. He steered himself into an empty interrogation room, not caring that there was a chance that someone was in the observation room or that they might see or hear him. Not knowing why the chair irritated him so, it just seemed too smug sitting upright, he threw it across the room and cried. Rick cried out in pain, sorrow and anger. Tears fell freely from his eyes and wordless calls for help were torn from his lungs.

Rick didn't notice as the door opened and admitted a Detective before closing again. He fell back against the wall and slid down to the floor with his head buried in his hands as his cries turned to sobs of despair. "Castle...?" The voice was gentle and familiar, but he recognized it as belonging to the one person he didn't want to see right then. So, that was a lie, but he didn't know if he could handle the fight that was sure to start up between them again. In true Castle fashion, he ignored her, he couldn't think straight so it was little wonder that he couldn't think up a more mature or _sophisticated_ way of dealing with the situation and her presence.

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Kate stepped off the elevator, eager to get into the bull pen, she hoped that she hadn't missed the results of the previous night's preparations. It was going to be a good day. Castle was due back today so she had worn the red trench coat he seemed to like, taken extra care with her make up and loosely curled her hair. She looked up, half expecting to see the aggravated partnership of Bates and Campbell standing over her desk waiting to throw unprovable accusations her way, she had taken great pains to ensure they couldn't prove a thing. What she didn't expect to see was Castle walking towards her desk. He seemed far away, lost in his own world, like usual, but something seemed off.

Something flickered behind Castle's eyes and the distress that had been hidden began to show on his face and he seemed to have realized where he was and what he was doing because he immediately changed course for a nearby interrogation room. Kate quickened her steps to try and catch him before he disappeared behind the door. She didn't quite make it. Instead she walked towards the observation room to see if he was sitting in on an interrogation or being interrogated again. What she saw tore at her heart. Castle was pacing an empty room, when she entered she had flicked on the switch that allowed her to hear what was going on in the other room. Out of nowhere he picked up a chair and threw it clear across the room where it smashed into the window she was looking through. The sudden assault make her duck for cover before she reminded herself it was bullet proof and that nothing was going to collide with her. The screams that were ripped from his lips made her want to cry. She didn't know what was going on in his life to cause this and that only served to make her feel useless to help him.

Unable to think of anything better to help him she made her way into the interrogation room and closed the door behind her. Her heart sank further as she watched him fall against the wall and collapse to the ground weeping. "Castle...?" Kate knew he had heard her, the momentary hesitation in his sobs and the flinch in his shoulders testified to that. She inched closer to him, wary of what he could do if he felt trapped, she had seen it happen once or twice too often to make the mistake of cornering someone when they were distressed, the chair itself was a prime example. She tried again. "Castle...?" This time he spoke but she couldn't hear what he said. "What...?"

His head shot up and his voice bellowed at her, it was so loud it felt like a physical force slamming into her at a high speed. "Leave me ALONE!" His head fell back into his arms and he cradled his legs closer to his body as his cries renewed themselves. While Kate didn't want to end up on the receiving end of his anger, the look he had given her in the elevator before their last spat was still very fresh in her mind, a large part of her wanted nothing more than to sit down beside him and pull him into a tight embrace. The smaller part wanted to question him until she understood his every hurt and could then be there for him.

"I can't do that, Castle... You see there's an unspoken law that I'm supposed to keep my partner on his feet, and I can't do that if I'm in the other room, now can I?" She was hoping to appeal to the Castle she had seen every day for so long, except the last week. He would have grinned his 'nothing is gonna get me down' grin and made some comment that could be taken two ways and then every thing would be fine. He had done that so many times when she had needed him to that she couldn't imagine he wouldn't do it again. The entirety of their last big case, with the cop out for revenge on them, he had smiled through it, even when she tore him down, yelled at him and they fought, he would bounce back with a bigger smile than ever. She loved that about him, it gave her a security and consistency that she needed. Even though she had hated that he didn't seem to take it seriously when the man had threatened Castle's life, that was one of the main reasons they fought so much, his 'the devil may care' attitude had daily reassured her that life would go on and that he wasn't going anywhere without a fight. His response reminded her that while the serial killer may have failed to take him from her, she hadn't failed to do so.

"Well, you'd better go find your partner... he's certainly not in here." He was pulling himself up off the floor and turning to the door when his words registered with her.

"Castle, don't do this... Tell me what's wrong and we'll sort it out together, like old times." She positioned herself between him and the door she was now leaning against. The air caught in her throat when his hand gently brushed her arm as he reached past her and grabbed the door knob. His face was inches from hers and he either paused when their eyes met or time actually slowed down.

They were at a cross roads, she could feel it, either she made her move while she had a chance, despite the many unresolved issues between them, or she let him walk out and returned to trying to show that she wanted him around without revealing her feelings to him. _'What a dumb question.'_ She thought to herself. She licked her lips nervously and leaned towards him, inching herself closer. She wasn't going to go all the way on her own but she knew he was coming to the same conclusion she had when he immediately began to copy her move. His hand left the door knob and rested on her upper arm. She felt a bolt of electricity fly through her body at his deliberate touch. Her lips tingled in anticipation as his began to close the gap and they were only millimeters away. Kate was about to take his lips in a kiss she had been longing for when they were interrupted by the sound of the Plain White Tee's '1,2,3,4' filling the room.

Castle jumped back as if he had been shocked into thought. He grabbed his mobile from his pocket, revealing it to be the cause of interruption. Kate opened her mouth to speak but was silenced when he spoke into the phone. "Jess, hey. What's up?" _'Of course it would be his girlfriend.'_ Kate though with spite, then she realized what she had been doing, she had been a second away from kissing another woman's boyfriend. She really had become the other woman. Her attention was returned to the man in front of her and the one side of the conversation she could hear, suddenly realizing how irritating it must have been for him on the many occasions she had forced him to listen to the over the phone reports on a case from her side only, though, true, this was a very different situation. "No, every thing's fine on my end, I'm at the precinct... No one's willing to have me tag along, but I'll change their minds... No, I won't go back to her team... Because I- Can I tell you later, she's right here... It's a police station, there's no such thing as privacy... Yes, go ahead." The pause that followed was longer than the others and Castle's face went from that of a deer caught in the headlights to that of someone in a hostage situation. Kate was sure that Jess had just accused him of cheating because she couldn't think of anything else that would affect him like that. "He actually took the bait...? And you have it there...?" He was definitely shocked, but that wasn't something you'd say if you were defending yourself from cheating allegations. Another long pause. "I don't know if that's such a good idea, Jess... I'm right in the middle of a police station, people will start asking questions and we might reveal our hand... I'm not some helpless playboy, I can look after myself... Yeah, alright, I'll be there as soon as I can... I'll keep my eyes open..." He looked at Kate then and seemed to realize she was listening for the first time. _'What did he expect from a Detective, it's part of the job description to gather seemingly pointless information?' _She was astounded at how he could forget that detail. "I have to go... Because some very curious people can hear me and I can't exactly do what I have to do before I leave if I'm on the phone... It was positive... I really have to go... I love you too, bye."

He hung up quickly and gave her a curious look that said, 'how much do you know?' Kate cut him off before he could grill her. "So, does your girlfriend have some trust issues with us Local LEO's?"

He laughed, it didn't quite pass for heartfelt. "She trusts more than she should, given what she does for a living."

"What exactly is that? I know she's a Fed, but that's it... Does she work kidnappings?" Her curiosity proved a little too hard to disguise, as did her dislike of the woman they were discussing.

"Actually she usually works serials, like Shaw, but she does a bit of everything depending on her work load and where they need her team. Which reminds me, I'm needed elsewhere and if I don't show in the next half hour she'll send a search party out to find me." He smiled at that.

"Oh, okay..." He had already walked through the door which she had left while he was on the phone before she spoke.

She followed him out into the hall way just in time to see Bates sit in his chair only to have it collapse to the ground under him. There was a shout of "Damn it all, Beckett!" as he picked himself up and rubbed his now obviously sore back side. She smiled at her handy work. When he picks up the chair later he will find the screw she had removed wrapped in a note just under the desk. On the note was a typed message. _'Screwing with people isn't so much fun when you're on the receiving end now, is it?'_

She was torn from her thoughts when Campbell shouted in anger. "Beckett...!" She smiled again. Esposito had super glued all her pens together the night before so they would be well and truly stuck by now. She laughed briefly to herself then made her way towards the break room. Kate pulled up short when she heard the woman call out again. "Hey, Castle! You still want in on Senator Carter's case?"

"Absolutely!" Came his reply, there was more eagerness in that one word than she had heard from him on any other occasion.

"You're in. When you get back from where ever your going we'll catch you up."

He had run over to their desks by now, and Kate could see the determination on his face from where she was standing. "Screw that, fill me in now, I'll text Jess and tell her to come here if she can't wait until we get home." The way he said that brought a dreaded thought to Kate's mind, one that hadn't occurred to her before, he was living with Saint-Claire.

* * *

**T.B.C...**

A/N: I know, it's short and it's been a while, but I guess you should be used to that by now, I'm thinking that I'll aim for one update per week, sorry. :)


	17. Kate Knows

**Chapter 17:** Kate Knows

The interrogation room was still. Harmon Gray was seated in front of the table and fidgeted with his sleeve for the fifteenth time in five minutes. Rick was surprised to find himself counting the nervous ticks. The observation room was full. Rick, Bates, Campbell and Captain Montgomery were all standing in front of the mirror, getting a feel for the man in the other room. "He's nervous about something." Roy said as he watched him fidget once more.

"Yeah, but the question is, is he nervous about being interrogated or about being caught." Bates pointed out to the group. "I can't quite get a read on him."

Rick pulled his phone out of his pocket as it vibrated then jambed it back again with more force than necessary. The three officers looked at him questioningly. "Dead battery and I was expecting a call from Alexis." Jess had organized for Alexis to be able to call him once they got to their safe house to let him know they had arrived safely.

"Ah, well, you can always talk to her when you get home... I'm sure nothing disastrous is going to happen to her between now and then." Campbell seemed to actually be making an attempt at being friendly since he had joined the investigation.

"Yeah... of course." Rick wasn't sure just how much he could tell anyone so he decided that pretending nothing was out of the ordinary was probably the best course of action. "Let's get on with the interrogation. I want to know everything he does about the day my d... Carter died."

"Are you sure you want to be in there, Castle? I mean, we are trained interrogators and you're... well, not." It was Bates who spoke then.

"Have you forgotten how your last interrogation went...? Did I not manage to pull the rug out from under you? Besides, don't forget what I told you, I haven't always been an author." He waited for any further dispute, when none came he pressed forward. "Okay, now that we have that clear, let's get in there."

* * *

"Mr. Gray, I'm Detective Daisy Campbell, this is Detective Curtis Bates, and this is Richard Castle."

"As in the author, Richard Castle?"

"The one and the same." Rick smiled and shook Harmon's hand.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Castle."

"You too, Mr. Gray."

"Please, call me Harmon, Mr. Gray is so bleak."

"Of course." Rick would usually have offered his first name as an automatic response, but this time, all he could think of was that it was not impossible that this man had killed his father. "What was your relationship to Senator Carter?"

"I was his campaign manager and chief speech writer."

"So, would I be correct in saying that you spent a lot of time with the Senator in the course of you daily duties?" Castle followed his instincts and made his questions as direct as he could. He sat in the chair opposite Harmon and Campbell and Bates stood behind him, leaning against the mirror.

"You would... We spent hours everyday in his office going over everything from policies to appearances and local issues... We were good friends in college."

Rick shifted in his seat, restraining himself from digressing from information relevant to the murder to learning everything and anything he could about his father. "Would he have told you if there was something bothering him?"

"I'd like to think so, but with a politician you can never tell, and he was made for politics, we could all see it from the start."

"Did he mention anything to you, over the past few months? Did his behavior seem off in any way?"

"Now that you mention it, he seemed a little distant, especially when his policy on the civilian ride alongs came up." Harmon shifted in his seat. "Over the past few years he's been pushing that to the back burner, we all noticed, but then, the day he died, he wouldn't even talk about it."

"You met with him the day he died?" Rick struggled to keep his enthusiasm buried. He succeeded, as far as any on lookers knew he was an uninterested participant.

"Yes, like I said, we met every day... The thing is, on the day he died, all he could talk about was the new _Heat Wave_ movie, he wasn't even an avid cinema goer..."

"Do you remember him mentioning any new names lately or that he suddenly didn't get along as well with someone he had known for a while?"

"No..."

"No old friends showing up, out of the blue, causing trouble?"

"No, none at all."

"Can you think of anyone that would want to hurt him or had a grudge against him?"

"No, of course not! Everyone loved him... well, except the usual political disputes, but nothing that would lead to this."

Rick, had learnt what he needed to from that interview. "Thank you, Mr. Gray, for your time and cooperation, please, give us a call if you can think of anything else that might be of use to this investigation."

"I will do."

As Harmon moved towards the door Rick nodded to Bates who took his cue and spoke up. "Oh, just one last thing before you leave, Harmon." A flash of annoyance sparked behind Harmon Gray's eyes at this.

"What is it, Detective?"

"Do you know if Senator Carter had any children or any living relatives?"

Harmon's eyes shot from Detective to Detective and landed on Rick. "None at all. He had no family." His eyes didn't leave Rick until he spoke.

"You're free to go Mr. Gray." Once the three of them were back at their desks and the Captain had joined them there they began to discuss their thoughts.

* * *

"I find it hard to believe he did it." Bates started.

"Yeah, he didn't even know that his friend was keeping a secret from him and he'd known him since they were at school. I doubt anyone that obtuse could have gotten the drop on someone like the Senator and then done such a good job of framing Castle." Campbell agreed.

"Don't count your eggs just yet, Detectives. Some thing's off with him."

"He's a politician, Castle, of course some thing's off."

"No, I mean, about this case... You said it yourself, he came off as oblivious... there is no way that someone that thick would make it as a successful campaign manager, let alone a chief speech writer. He'd need to be aware of all the tiniest intricacies of the political situation at any given time. Carter's campaigns were pretty successful, I think he was having us on. Besides, there is no way that he would not know about me if he worked so closely with Carter for so long and was as good a friend as he claims. When Bates asked about next of kin he watched me for a reaction like I knew he would. He was lying about not knowing who I am, what's to say he's not lying about something else?"

"What tipped you off first?" Roy asked.

"He was too nice to me." When all that earned him was a round of blank stares he elaborated. "The man ignored the presence of the Detectives in the room and when Bates asked him a question he was clearly irritated and only answered when he was looking at me. He was trying to convince me in there, not the people that could lock him away. Why?"

"Okay, Castle. Look into it further. See if you can't find something in those diaries he gave you."

"Thanks, Roy." Rick picked up the first of the diaries he had collected from his home during the day.

* * *

It was well into the evening by the time Rick looked up from his reading. The two Detectives had been digging up whatever they could find on Harmon Gray and were having a hard time finding anything not related to politics. Rick had speed read through several files on people who had access to the Senator without his body guards being present, another few containing death threats he had received in his time as a Senator and those lead on to file after file on the people who sent the threats. In between files he read through the journals.

His attention had been torn from his reading when a woman's voice demanded of several people around the corner, "Where's Richard Castle?" The voice was familiar but he dismissed it as a coincidence because the person it sounded like would never sound so frightened and angry at the same time, at least, he couldn't think of a reason they would sound that way in front of anyone.

Rick was surprised to hear Beckett's voice reply, he hadn't seen or heard from her since that morning's conversation. "He's working just around the corner, there." As he remembered their encounter in the interrogation room he was hit by a wave of conflicting emotions. He wasn't sure if it was a dream or if it had actually happened, but he was pretty sure they had been about to kiss, and that she had been the one to initiate it. He wanted to smile at that, Kate Beckett had been millimeters from kissing him. But at the same time he wanted to knock himself over the head with the computer on the desk in front of him. He had a wonderful woman who loved him and he loved her, so what if she wasn't Kate Beckett, Jessica Saint-Claire was great for him in ways he hadn't dreamed possible.

As he had those thoughts the very woman he had considered it impossible for the voice to have belonged to rounded the corner at a run. Jess stopped dead when she saw him. He cocked his head to the side in confusion as to her presence and panicked appearance. "Rick! Thank God!" She was once again running toward him. He barely had time to stand and brace himself for the impact by the time she had thrown herself into his arms.

Rick's mind was frozen in surprise for a moment, then his first thought as to why she would be so distressed was that something had happened to Alexis or his mother. Fighting his desire to avoid any confirmation of his fears he whispered, all the pain the thought brought to him coming across in the one word. "Alexis..?"

Jess pulled her head off of his shoulder to make eye contact. "No! Oh, God no! Alexis is fine." He released the breath he hadn't realised he had been holding and mouthed 'Thank God.' She pulled him into a deep kiss through which he could feel all her fear and doubts washing away as she reassured herself that he was right there, in her arms. When she pulled away from the kiss, now certain that he was okay she punched him in the arm with all her strength.

"Ouch! What was that for?" He attempted to put his other arm between their bodies to rub the now sore one, but she wouldn't let their bodies drift far enough apart for that.

"That was for not answering your phone for the last half hour." She kissed him again, almost as passionately as before. "Do you realise how much you scared me?" Her voice had risen now that there was nothing left for her to fear in that moment. She didn't wait for an answer before continuing. "I was shaking so much I couldn't even drive myself here!" His lips lifted into a smile at the thought. "It's not funny, Rick! I thought he had gotten you!"

In that moment Rick realised that this conversation was likely to go further than either of them wanted it to in such a public place so he crashed his lips to hers in an attempt to cut off the next part of her outburst that he could see was coming. It worked, she melted against him and he took the opportunity to enjoy a bit of reassuring closeness before breaking apart. "Can we talk about this somewhere with less ears?"

Jess looked around and seemed to only then realise how public that scene had been. She nodded in reply and let him begin to lead her away from the populated room. Once they were in the relative privacy of an empty observation room he closed the door and she spoke. "I'm sorry, Rick, but I really thought they had gotten to you."

"It's okay, I'm right here and I'm fine... I didn't answer my phone because the battery died a few hours ago, I forgot to recharge it last night... Why didn't you call the station?"

"Oh... I honestly didn't even think of it... We got another note and all I could think of was that you weren't answering your phone."

His joy in the knowledge that she cared enough to be so worried about him was short lived as he realised what she had just said. "What other note?"

"That's why I was trying to call you. We got a note that said that they know you're working with us to catch them but they're going to follow it through... Rick, they're going to be twice as careful to get to you without revealing themselves... I want you to stop helping here and stay close to an agent at all times."

"Jess, I'm in the middle of a police station and have at least one officer in the room with me at all times, I'm just as safe here as I would be with any agent, besides, our guy won't make his move when an agent is around,we know that much."

"That's the point, Rick. I don't want you working this any more, it's getting too far out of hand... we don't even know how they knew you are working with us, for all we know it's one of our own."

Rick sighed. "If it is then I really have to talk to someone about screening law enforcement officers better, two in one month is just screaming ineffective psych evaluations."

"Can't you be serious about anything?" Her voice had risen again and Rick was reminded of how things had gone sour with Beckett.

"I am taking this seriously, Jess, but there is nothing we can do if it's one of our own short of keeping an eye open, which I do anyway...!" He took a moment to calm himself down so that he could stop himself from yelling again. "Look, we knew this could happen right from the beginning. We still chose to go ahead with it anyway, nothing has changed." He took her hand in his. "I can look after myself, Jess and it's not like I'm going into this unprepared... I know it's coming and I have an idea of when it could happen, that's more than most others."

She squeezed his hand. "Okay, Rick, but promise me that you'll call me as soon as you even think that they're about to make a move."

"I can't do that, Jess... but I can promise that I'll do everything I can to come home to you at the end of each day." She smiled at him and he pulled her into another kiss, this time a sweet kiss of gratitude.

They walked back out into the bull pen arm in arm. "So, do you have any leads on your Dad's killer, yet?"

Rick swallowed hard at that, he had been avoiding referring to the victim as his father to try and lessen the pain. "Several, that's the problem. If we could just sort out the strong leads from the unrealized threats it would make this so much easier."

"I could give you a hand if you'd like. I have more resources and I'm trained to deal with political assassinations."

He smiled in thanks and squeezed her tighter to him. "I know, and if I thought it was politically motivated I would take you up on that without a second thought, but something tells me this was personal." That was when he noticed Harrison talking to Bates and Campbell while going through the files with them.

Jess seemed to have noticed what he was doing too. "Try saying no to him now that he's started."

Rick laughed at the thought. "We could always spar it out..." Jess laughed as well. "Harrison! I take it I owe you a debt of gratitude for keeping Jess out from behind the wheel."

"Ah, by now it's second nature to watch her back." The men grinned at each other and shook hands warmly before Harrison pulled him into a brotherly hug. "I'm glad you're okay. I may not know you very well, but Jess loves you, and that makes you family." Rick patted his back and thanked him before walking them back to the elevator.

* * *

Kate wasn't sure how to approach Castle about what happened in the interrogation room, or even if she should. Part of her was sure that he had wanted that kiss as much as she did, but the other part was telling her that it had all been some dream that she had confused with reality, after all, no one had that much bad luck when it came to timing. So she spent the day watching Castle from the other side of the bull pen. She worked on her case and found a lead, they were waiting for the security footage that would confirm or shatter the alibi, but none of that kept her from stealing glances at him regularly. He seemed more invested in that case than any he had worked with her, except the Dunn case when her life had been on the line. Why hadn't she seen how much he cared for her then? It had been the perfect opportunity. First, he had spent a night in her apartment, not ten feet from her bedroom door, and then she had spent a few nights at his place, sleeping under the same roof again. No one could have asked for a better set up to make a move than that, only she would pass that up.

* * *

She went to the break room late that evening for a coffee, Kate needed a caffeine hit if she was going to get her paper work done that night without falling asleep at her desk. She had done that several times in the past and whenever it happened while Castle was around he would always carry her to the break room lounge, at first she hadn't known who was doing it but one time she woke up when he picked her up but she pretended to still be asleep. All of that had stopped during their last case. A lot of things had stopped then, for about a week he hadn't even brought her coffee when he got his during the day, let alone in the mornings.

As Kate made her way back to her desk a frantic woman ran off the elevator demanding to know where Castle was, she recognised her as Saint-Claire, his girlfriend. With a lot of effort to not send her in the wrong direction out of spite Kate showed her where to find him. She wanted to scream when she saw Saint-Claire lock lips with Castle. He didn't even look like he enjoyed it, not like he did when she had been so close that she could feel his lips against hers even though they hadn't connected. Kate savored that thought. She was definitely making progress and Saint-Claire didn't even know she was in the game.

Hearing their conversation Kate caught a few words that began to click into place with the conversation she had been privy to earlier in the day. So far things weren't looking good. What she knew was that they were doing something that involved bait, a note, and now she knew it had some connection to Alexis and something that gave Saint-Claire a reason to suspect that a criminal had gone after Castle... That was when it all came together. _'Castle was playing the bait for one of Saint-Claire's cases!'_ Kate had to take a deep breath and count to ten before she could even think clearly enough to make a quick phone call. The phone answered on the third ring. "Sorensen."

"Will, it's Kate. I need a favor."

"Sure thing, what can I do for you?"

"I need to know what case Special Agent Jessica Saint-Claire is working on and what role Richard Castle is playing in it."

"Kate, most of Saint-Claire's cases are need to know only..."

"Yeah, well, I need to know."

"Is this because that writer is involved?"

"He's my partner, Will... you know you'd do the same if it was your partner."

"Fine, give me a minute, I have my contacts too." The line was silent for a few minutes. "You there?"

"Yeah, I'm listening."

"I don't know if this is something you want to know, Kate..."

"I've figured out most of it, Will, I just need to know if I'm right and whatever else I can."

"You're not going to like it, but I'll tell you if you promise not to tell anyone you got the info from me, this is some pretty secretive stuff."

"You have my word, now tell me before someone figures out what we're talking about."

"It's a serial case... there are no good leads, the killer doesn't leave anything that can be traced back to them, it looks like a professional gone rogue... they leave a note with the victim's girlfriend just prior to the attack, so far no one's survived, not even the one they had under round the clock FBI protection... the MO changes every time, that's how we've kept it quiet, the vic is always a high society male in a relationship with a working class girl... my source tells me that when Jordan Shaw took up a supervisory role on this one she found out about Richard Castle and the team leader being involved and convinced him to play bait."

Kate almost dropped the phone. All her suspicions were confirmed and she had learnt more than she had expected to. She whispered to avoid drawing attention to her as she clarified. "Castle's playing bait for a killer with no surviving victims?"

"Yeah, my info says he was actually pretty eager to help once they assured him they'd get his family out of the city and keep them in hiding until the whole thing was sorted out."

"How could they ask him to do that? They're going to get him killed."

"Don't write off your writer just yet. He's got more going for him than the others, in fact, if this file is correct, I'd say he has a pretty good chance."

"What are you talking about?"

Will laughed and Kate wanted to strangle him, it was his _'I know something you don't and it's really good'_ laugh. "You didn't do a very thorough back ground search on him did you? Let me guess, you got his file really quickly and with out much effort considering he's a celebrity and you didn't bother looking deeper. The guy's got a record to be proud of, it's almost too bad he didn't pursue it as a career."

"Seriously, Will, what are you on about?" It was at that moment Castle and Saint-Claire re-entered the room. "I've gotta go, thanks." She hung up before he could respond and her vision went red when she saw Saint-Claire holding onto Castle like she really cared about him, if she cared she wouldn't have let him act as bait. She wanted to lash out and inflict serious pain on the woman but her curiosity threw her rage aside when she heard what the woman said.

"Do you have any leads on your Dad's killer yet?" Castle's reaction confirmed that what she had said was true. He swallowed hard and didn't deny it, only spoke about the leads. Suddenly so much of what she had seen over the past couple of days made sense. Castle's father had been murdered. Kate recognised the outburst she had seen that morning as Castle's way of releasing a similar version of the agony she had felt all those years ago when her mother had been killed. And then the eagerness and determination that he had towards the case registered as him doing the very thing she had done, he was now experiencing the destructive need to find his dead parent's murderer. There were aspects of what he was going through that Kate knew she would never fully understand, she had been given the chance to know her mother and to spend time with her, Castle would never have that with his father, she had been trying to fill in the gaps left by incompetent Detective work, if she failed it could be attributed to the lack of evidence common in cold cases, if he failed, he would be the one who let the murder walk free, and she had never been accused of her mother's murder, he had been the prime suspect. Once again the desire to pull him into a tight, reassuring embrace filled her, only to be brushed aside as she was again reminded of the presence of his girlfriend as they walked past her to the elevator.

The moment they were out of the room she stalked up to Bates and Campbell. "Your vic is his Dad?" They nodded in response. "And you didn't think I should know about that?"

"It wasn't our place to tell anyone, besides, you two don't even talk anymore, we didn't know if he would want you to know." She admitted that they had a point but asked them to keep her in the loop about their case from then on, saying that if he lost himself in the case like she had all those years ago he'd need help to pull himself out of it. They agreed and loaned her a cop of the file that contained the details of the crime scene so she could start familiarizing herself with it.

* * *

**T.B.C...**

A/N: Hope you all liked this one, I finished early so I figuered I'd post it now and save you waiting any longer, besides, I owe you for your patience. :)

You can review now, you know that deep down you want to.


	18. Revelations

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Castle or anything associated with it and I have used some of the lyrics of Breaking Benjamin's 'Unknown Soldier' in here without permission but I don't intend to make any money off this and any copy write infringements are unintentional.

* * *

**Chapter 18: **_Revelations_

Rick hadn't gone home that night. He told Bates that he'd head home within an hour of the Detective having left but couldn't tear himself away from the stack of files and the journals. Tears stained his face as he read the words his father had never been able to say to him. He didn't notice as the sun's rays filled the room in a blaze of glory. Despite the heat of the day, which was promising to be stifling, Rick was cold. It felt to him like a constant icy breeze was battering him. What he was reading were the words he had always wanted to hear from his father, expressions of pride in him and his achievements, declarations of a desire to be by his side, things that he had hoped his father felt towards him. Again the realisation of what he had lost weighed down on him.

The ding of the elevator vaguely registered in his mind as he lost himself in the numbing pain that had over the past few days become so familiar to him. He sighed heavily and picked up the phone from Bates' desk. "Saint-Claire."

"Hey, Jess, it's Rick."

"Rick! Why didn't you call to tell me you weren't coming home last night? I had to call around to find out where you were."

"You mean you had to call the agents that you've got following me, right?" A touch of annoyance came out in his voice, her choice of generalizing who she had called and his recollection that no one had called the station asking for him, she would have asked to speak to him had she done that, told him that she had only called one person and they had been in the position to tell her where he was late at night. Thus he knew she was having him followed.

There was a momentary pause on the other end. "Okay, so I've got surveillance on you. You're life is in danger, Rick! What else am I supposed to do?"

"You could trust me to do what I was trained to do! Our guy isn't stupid enough to make his move while your dogs are within sniffing distance! And if they do all you're doing is putting more people's lives on the line!" He was standing now, passing along side the desk. He had removed the phone from his ear so that he could think without getting further drawn into the fight, he was always argumentative when he didn't sleep. "Listen to me, Jess, I'm fine, now call off your watch dogs and let me do what I signed on to do."

"I'm sorry, Rick, but I won't do that."

"Then I'm sorry, Jess, but I'm going to have to disappear until they do."

"Come on, Rick, they're the best in the business. Do you really think you're going to lose them?"

He hated the condescension in her tone. "In the FBI maybe, but you're once again underestimating me." With that he hung up the phone and turned to leave. He hadn't taken more than a step when he came face to face with Detective Campbell.

"Trouble in paradise?" There was a mixture between real sympathy and humour in her voice.

"Nothing I can't handle." He smiled gratefully at her before continuing. "What are you doing in this early?"

"I would ask you the same question but the evidence suggests that it would be more appropriate to ask why you're still here." This time she out right laughed. "You look like you could use a coffee."

Rick joined in the laughter. "Maybe a few minutes ago I could have, but there's nothing like a good argument to get the adrenaline flowing."

"Good, because if you did need a coffee I'd have to tell you to suck it up soldier, we've got to move." He was surprised by her choice of words and it showed clearly on his face. "I did my research on you after your comment to Bates about not always having been an author. It looks like you've been hiding a few talents."

He stood straighter, subconsciously resuming the stance he had spent so many years taking on parade and when meeting with superior officers. "It a part of my life I don't share with everybody. My daughter doesn't even know."

"Despite all the medals?" She seemed genuinely curious about his keeping it a secret.

"They're hidden in a box buried deep in my closet, with my uniform, papers, photos and everything else from those years."

"Ah... why?"

"Why what?" His stance changing slightly to provide more comfort.

"Are you ashamed of your service?" Campbell sat down on the edge of the desk in front of Rick.

"I could never be ashamed of serving my country..." He bowed is head in defeat as he remembered those years as if he was still living them. His jaw set and his head rose again. "It just brings back a few memories I'd rather not have... I don't want to be the one to take away my daughters innocence when it comes to the things that happen in war. It's bad enough that she sees it on the news and hears about it in school. She can detach from it then, but if she ever found out that she knows someone who lived through that, who did the things I did... there's no unlearning that."

Campbell nodded her head a few times in silence as she processed his words. "We have a warrant to search Casie Walker's warehouse. She's the prime suspect in one of our other cases. We suspect she is bank rolling a drug operation and killed one of our own when he got too close." She waited to see his reaction to the news, there was none. Rick was numb to everything in that moment. Too many types of pain flooded through his body and his mind cut off all emotional connections, he was as detached as anyone could have been. "It turns out the warehouse is a potential primary crime scene for another murder as well, the team working that one have asked to work this search with us." He again gave no reaction. "There is also a drug bust scheduled in about an hour so we'll be going in with them... The reason I'm telling you all of this is because we have a small problem. It turns out that new evidence has come to light suggesting the SWAT Tactical Commander who planned the entire assault is personally connected to Walker. He was the only one with enough experience in combat strategies to control the operation within an hour's flight of here and we need someone on the ground to lead things. Your report says that you commanded your own unit for a while before leaving the service, you were the one mapping out every move and word is that you did a more than fair job."

Rick looked her in the eyes, contemplating the ways this conversation could go. "What exactly do you want from me?"

Campbell nodded once more to acknowledge his desire for bluntness. "I got permission to have you revise the entire thing from the ground up, change what you want and coordinate the entire thing while giving orders on the scene."

"No." He could see she was about to bombard him with questions so he explained further before she could utter a syllable. "I won't fight."

"I'm not asking you to fight. You'll have a gun as protection in case you need it, but you'll be behind the front line. We need you to be on the ground so that you can get a feel for what is going on but not in the fire fight." Rick had orchestrated enough assaults to know the value of being on the ground so he didn't argue. "We would fly someone else in and delay the attack until a time they chose but our Intel is that they're preparing to leave and SWAT will move with or without us and they'd still need someone to give the orders." She gave him a look that told him he could say no but that it would a major defeat for Law Enforcement. "Please, Castle. You're the only one who can do it in time."

"As long as I don't have to shoot anyone, I'll do it." She leaped off the desk and grabbed his hand to drag him behind her towards the elevator.

"Thank you, Castle!" She sounded relieved and he realised that she really had expected him to say no. "This bust is a huge deal and it'll mean a lot for the NYPD... Plus, it'll be a good chance to see you in action." He smiled at that last statement. He knew he could still do as good a job as ever, he practiced regularly in planning things like this for his Derrik Storm books, only it was usually the bad guys busting down the doors, but already memories began to fill his mind.

* * *

_The young Major Richard 'One Hit' Castle lay buried under a pile of dirt, unmoving. The force of the explosion had thrown him several feet into the air and when he landed another blast had done a quick job of covering his limp body. His eyes flickered open but all thought and feeling was a distant memory. A Captain in his unit dragged him clear of yet another grenade. Missiles were being launched at them from left, right and center. They were getting hammered. The Colonel who sent them in forgot to mention that there were enemy encampments scattered throughout the Burgan oil fields. Another explosion had the Captain pulling Rick into a makeshift trench the boys had been working on when the attack had started. "Come on, One Hit!" The Captain dripped water from his canteen onto Rick's face. The cold of the water shocked Rick from his trance like state. He coughed dirt from his lungs. "Easy there, Major."_

_Rick took his canteen and had a sip to moisten his dried out throat. "What's our status?"_

"_We're out numbered and the enemy is flanking us, soon we won't even be able to go back." There was a hint of panic in his friend's voice. Things were looking bad._

"_How are we for ammo? How many casualties?"_

"_We have three men injured and two of those can't walk. None dead so far. We have enough ammo to last maybe fifteen more minutes. But we're fine for grenades." Well, that was of little comfort. Back up was at least twenty minutes away the last time he checked, and that had been mere moments before he got knocked out cold. As for the grenades, it was too dark to know if they'd make any difference. _

_Rick thought through every detail of the mission brief he could remember. There was a navy ship patrolling about ten miles from their position. If they were lucky it would be a gun ship. "Get me the radio." Before he had even thought about how screwed they would be if it turned out to be just a transport ship with basic guns, which had for some unknown reason been making patrols all instead of anything particularly useful, a radio was on the ground in front of him, it turns out their radio guy had been the first to go down so badly that he couldn't walk on his own and everyone was too busy to carry him across to him. Within a minute of getting the radio he was in contact with an aircraft carrier and another minute had six Hornets jetting their way to provide support and clear a path for them. _

_Rick used his mini torch to light up the map so he could read and communicate their coordinates to the aircraft operator. Upon studying the map Rick found that they were eight miles from their destination and only six from their supply drop zone. They were to follow the highway into the city, it was generally considered suicide but their Colonel insisted it was the only way the mission was to be done. He quickly relayed their coordinates and told them to send the Hornets around once before striking, that he would have his men signal enemy positions with their torches on the first run, and he organized for the air craft to break two holes in the enemy lines so that his men could split up and outflank the enemy in small groups, but while his men were on the move he wanted as much of a distraction as possible. When the flight commander gave his plan the go ahead he passed the message on to his men and organized who would go where and when._

_While all of this had been happening another two men had gone down, one fatally wounded and several, himself included had shrapnel wounds from grenades exploding nearby. He ordered a small group to carry the wounded and their dead man out and to take cover in a nearby shed. He radioed in to tell the pilots not to attack the shed, that it would be housing their wounded. Within a minute they were signaling the aircraft over head and ready to make their move._

_

* * *

_

Rick knew that had he not acted the way he had then he and his men would have all met their end in that dark, smoggy oil field on that night. He got every one of them out of their with only one dead, the rest had been evacuated in time to receive the appropriate medical attention. The Lieutenant had been the only allied casualty of that particular struggle. He could still see the boy's face. Lieutenant Herbert Reeves. He had been new to their unit, transferred in only two days before. He was fresh and only there because his instructors vouched that he could handle the duties of a Delta.

With this dominating his thoughts Rick didn't even notice when he was basically pushed into the passenger seat of Campbell's car. She was saying something but all he could hear was the sound of exploding grenades, bursts of automatic fire and men screaming as their flesh was rent apart by metal. As the smell of burning oil from his memories filled his nose the prayer he had offered up within the confines of his heart as he first realised there was a good chance he would die on that field as enemy soldiers flooded the plains around them and then again as he saw the grenade land in the dirt feet from him again entered his mind. _'Help me see this in black and white so I can leave this world tonight.'_ Fear, that was what he remembered most about that night, his own and that of those around him.

As he cleared his mind of the memories Campbell parked the car on the street outside what he could only assume was the staging area. She lead him into a large room that was full of men and women in full tactical gear. Someone thrust a bullet proof vest with the letters G. C. blaring from the front and back into his chest as he passed the door. "Group Commander." Campbell supplied. He raised his eyebrow at her and she elaborated. "That's what you are right now, Castle. For the duration of this assault you are the Group Commander and in charge of the entire operation, well, as in charge as a civilian can be, you will have an advisor with you at all times making sure everything is legal, but you're the head honcho. So put the vest on and start planning."

* * *

The next half hour was spent planning. Word was spread that the assault was to be delayed half an hour but that eyes were on the building to ensure the target didn't leave before they got there. Rick went over all the details of the previous plan to avoid making his too similar. He went through the Intel they had on everything that was going on inside the building as well as blueprints and street maps for the building and surrounding area. Rick was an expert on the warehouse by the time he opened his mouth for anything but clarification and questions. "Okay, if anyone sees a problem with my plan or anything we can do better, now is the time to tell me." He went through his plan with those in the room and got feed back from everyone before coming to the final decision. "Now that we're all happy with the outlines, let's brief everyone else."

Following the Squad Commanders into the covered courtyard they were using as a briefing area Rick got a good look at the people he could very well be sending to their deaths. He wanted to turn around right then and pretend he knew nothing about the operation, but he reminded himself that he had taken men into far worse and brought them out safely. He straightened his back and lifted his chin, letting the soldier in him that he had once buried completely take over for the first time in a long time.

One of the Squad Commanders opened the briefing by announcing that "The man behind the new plan, Richard Castle, will brief you directly. Things have changed, so listen up."

Before he could even open his mouth to speak he was met by angry shouts. "He's an author, not a G.C.!" "Are you kidding me?" Under normal circumstances Rick would have taken their comments light heartedly, but he was sleep deprived, adrenaline pumped and his day had started like crap. In full Delta mode he couldn't see a light side to it, they had a job to do and by God they were going to do it whether they liked it or not.

"Silence!" His voice roared over the noise of the crowd without the use of a microphone and the obvious authority it contained got the message across. "I don't give a rats ass what you think! Yes, I'm an author, and a damn good one at that. No, I'm not a G.C. But you will give me the same respect you would if I were. I have earned the right to that, whether you can understand that or not. I am standing before you of my own free will, giving you the benefit of my expertise and if you don't want to hear what I have to say you can hand in your resignation papers right now." No one moved or spoke. "Good. Now listen up because what I'm about to tell you might just save your life."

Rick went on to explain his plan and the set up for it. There was to be one sniper covering every entrance or exit, two squads for the same, one would break right and the other left once they entered the building. They were to clear each room as standard before proceeding to the next and were to avoid grouping together. He had three units entering from the roof and the rest were going in on ground level. The NYPD Detectives were to spread themselves out amongst the SWAT teams. The standard rules of engagement applied and the aim was both to stop anyone escaping and to secure as much evidence as possible.

When he finished briefing he assigned each group call signs based on their chain of command and point of entry then opened the floor for questions. Inevitably the first question was "What qualifies you to be the G.C.?"

"I meant questions about the plan. If you have a problem with taking orders from me, just remember that all my orders go through your Squad Commanders, if they don't like them they will take that up with me before relaying them. So unless you lack faith in your commanding officers, there shouldn't be a problem." No more questions were asked and so Rick sent them off to get into position.

* * *

The plan went off without a hitch. A few small gun fights broke out but they were quickly dealt with. Rick gave orders when they were needed but for the most part he let the squad leaders do their jobs. A few officers were dealt flesh wounds and one was shot through the leg but it was a through and through, the paramedics he had on standby said he'd be fine and the doctor's report they received confirmed that.

Rick was smiling brightly as he approached the NYPD Detectives who had gathered to the side discussing what had happened. He had initially been startled to see Beckett, Ryan and Esposito in the the briefing tent but had pushed the thought from his mind. Beckett had tried to catch him as he was hurried off to take up his own position, he had seen her pushing her way through the crowd. Rick hadn't wanted to see that, all it did was make him think about Lieutenant Herbert Reeves' pale, lifeless face, and the possibility that the next time he saw Beckett she would be in the same position, again because of him, so he ran away from her, from that sight. Now that he knew she had survived he could at least face her.

Bates saw him coming first. "Castle! You did one hell of a job today!" When Rick stepped up level to the Detective he slapped him on the back, joyfully. "I haven't seen such a well orchestrated bust in my entire career."

Rick laughed at the absurdity of the thought that someone was praising him for running the operation so well with all the recourses he had been able to use. Though had he been with his Delta team there would have been fewer casualties and it would have taken just as long with fewer people. Before he could voice the thought Campbell interjected. "I'll bet you're used to having better resources at your disposal."

He laughed again at how little they knew of war. "Actually, back then I had fewer people and fewer resources, though we did use shrapnel grenades as well as smoke ones. Despite what you may have heard, read or seen on T.V. the military isn't so carefree with it's budget and they were often under the impression that as Deltas we could do the impossible with nothing more than our most basic kits." He smiled at the memory of the good times he had shared with his team but it was wiped off just as quickly when it dawned on him that he had not been in touch with them for almost sixteen years and as such didn't have the faintest idea of what they were doing or where they were. He noticed Beckett looking at him strangely, as though she was trying to figure out a puzzle that changes shape every time she came close to the solution.

He was about to comment on that when a burst of gun fire was released in their direction. In once swift movement he tackled Beckett behind cover, rolled across her to the far side of the crate pile they were using and drew the handgun he had been loaned as emergency protection. He paid no attention to the very un-Beckett like scream that tore from her throat as he connected with her. The moment his gun was out of it's holster he peeked out from behind the crates to look in the direction from which the shots had come. He saw a woman disappear behind one of many storage containers, her long black hair trailing behind her.

Rick didn't even wait for Beckett to pick herself up off the ground before running out after the shooter and calling to a nearby SWAT team who were emerging from cover "On me!" They jumped into action and had nearly caught up with him by the time he maneuvered around the first container. There was no sign of the woman so he split them up and they began to search the area.

Behind them Esposito called out. "Over here!" Rick and every SWAT officer that had followed him approached to look at the ground where Esposito was pointing. "It looks like the mark from a rifle mount."

Rick knelt down beside him and examined the 'V' shaped imprint in the dirt. "It could be..." Rick spotted a small, pointed object just to the side of the 'V'. He didn't need to look twice to know what it was. Alarm bells were ringing in his mind. He knew this combination from somewhere. He just had to think of where.

Beckett knelt down beside him and looked at the object. "What is that?"

Esposito picked it up to see it more clearly. "Is this a snake's fang?"

The fog began to lift from Rick's mind. He looked at Beckett without seeing her and whispered to himself. "Venom?"

Beckett's brow furrowed. "What? Mistress Venom was from an old case, Castle. I doubt she was here taking pot shots at us." His face screwed up tighter. She reached her hand out to squeeze his shoulder in support but he shot up from the ground before she had even touched him. "Castle, what?"

He looked around quickly before taking off into the maze of containers at a dead run. "Mel?" The only answer he got was the sound of Beckett, Esposito and Ryan calling out for him to stop. He ignored them and kept running. "Melissa?" Again the only sounds were the yelling of his old team mates and the pounding of his feet on the compacted dirt under him. He put his handgun back in it's holster as he ran. "Melissa!" He was getting angry now. She should still be close enough to hear him as he hadn't heard an engine start so she was more than likely on foot. If she could hear him than she should have come running back, it wasn't like she would have been shooting at them if she knew it was him and he wouldn't hold it against her if she hadn't recognised him after all these years.

Then it hit him. It wasn't Melissa. That would have been impossible. It was someone that knew her calling card and that he would recognise it, and that meant that he was dealing with someone who was very dangerous and with out a doubt meant him harm. As he drew his gun once more and slowed down to a cautious walk he realised that it was very possible that he was, at that very moment, hunting down the very serial killer that had begun hunting him recently. He had known he was playing with fire when he signed on as the bait but with the revelation of this new information he realised that there was a very good chance he was going to get burnt and badly.

* * *

**T.B.C...**

A/N: Next chapter will probably be basically the same but from Beckett's POV as I really want to explore how she felt about a number of the revelations in this chapter and there will be a bit more to it as well. But I'm going to ask you for some in put on that. Do you think I should write it out like this but in Kate's POV or should I do the highlights as flashbacks and write most of it after the events of this chapter? Review, please, and let me know what you think.


	19. Too Many Questions

A/N: Hey, sorry but this does not have the flash backs I had planned, but it shows her reaction as much as I think the story needs here, I think I'll put a bit more in a later chapter.

* * *

Chapter 19: Too many questions

Her mind had barely registered that she was being shot at when something large and heavy crashed into her, knocking her to the ground. Kate screamed, it was all she could do as she felt her body give way under the mass. Then it was gone, as quickly as it had come. Castle had rolled over her without actually having landed on her. It was possibly even more shocking to think of him as capable of that than it had been to see him stand in front of the large assembly and command the attention of all present while he presented a remarkably well laid plan.

As she contemplated this her mind was brought back to the present by the sound of Castle calling out to a nearby SWAT team. "On me!" She drew her gun and followed the swift moving squad. Esposito and Ryan had fallen in beside her but none of them could see Castle anymore. He was in the front somewhere, coordinating the search. That was yet another thought for her to brush aside for later analysis. Kate was stopped mid stride as Esposito grabbed her arm.

"Beckett, watch out!" He pulled her back toward him, supporting her so she didn't fall due to the sudden tug he had given her. "Sorry." He apologized when she gave him a glare that warned bad things would come his way if he didn't have a good explanation. "Look at the ground." He knelt down and pointed to a small mark. "I just didn't want you destroying evidence by mistake." She nodded her acceptance and approval. He smiled and then called out to the SWAT team. "Over here!" Everyone came running. The odd thing that Kate still couldn't wrap her thoughts around was that every officer stepped aside to make room for Castle, acknowledging as a whole that he was in charge. "It looks like the mark from a rifle mount."

Castle knelt into the dirt, as if by simply getting closer he could know everything there was to know about what made the mark. "It could be..." He didn't sound very certain and it wasn't hard to see that he was considering other possibilities. His eyes shifted to the side and he leaned in closer, she doubted it was a conscious move. His eyes became thoughtful and after all the time they had spent together she could tell he was about to make a case breaking discovery.

Curious about what could be so significant, Kate knelt down beside him to examine it for herself. "What is it?" It didn't look like anything more than a tiny piece of broken plastic from where she was.

Esposito was clearly not sure that he was seeing it properly, so he picked it up and brought it closer to his face. "Is this a snake's fang?"

Kate had to hold back the laugh that was threatening to escape her. In an area like this it was hardly unexpected to find snakes. She expected to see Castle's face drop when his theory was brought down by that realisation. But then again when did he ever do what she expected him to? Instead he looked at her, though it felt to her more like he was looking through her, and his brow furrowed in confused thought. She could see the change on his face as realisation began to dawn. He whispered so softly that she could barely hear him. "Venom?"

That was certainly not what she expected to hear. "What? Mistress Venom was from an old case, Castle. I doubt she was here taking pot shots at us." His face screwed up tighter. She reached her hand out to squeeze his shoulder in support, he was clearly struggling with an idea and she was beginning to think that the stress of everything was getting to him, but he shot up from the ground before she had even touched him. "Castle, what?" She wasn't going to admit it but his rejection of her support stung, more than a little.

He looked around quickly before taking off into the maze of containers at a dead run. "Mel?"

Following him as quickly as she could, though not sure what was going on, Kate drew her gun again, having holstered it back up when she had stopped. He had run out of her line of sight and she lost him quickly. "Castle! Stop!" She hadn't expected a reply, he was too busy calling for someone named Melissa. She used his calls as a way to determine which direction she should go in order to find him. He continued shouting, so did she. "Castle, wait for us!" His tone changed and she could tell that something wasn't right. "Castle, wait for back up!" She was surrounded by SWAT members and the other NYPD Detectives where mixed in the bunch.

They were rounding a corner when they heard a gun being cocked. The whole group slowed immediately so they could be ready for whatever came their way when they broke cover. What she saw was nothing like what she expected. Castle had rounded to face them, his gun trained on the leader of the group ready to fire at the slightest provocation. "Guys!" He lowered his gun quickly, but Kate noticed that he was a far cry from putting the safety back on and holstering up. "Identify yourselves in some way before rounding the corner... I could have shot you."

Feigning an ease she didn't feel Kate laughed. "Yeah, right, Castle. You couldn't shoot a cow if you tried."

He smiled at that. "I think you're forgetting the time I beat your score on the range."

It was good to have the back and forth again, even if it had started as a bit forced and she knew it wasn't going to last long. "Yeah, I forgot how 'shifty' those silhouettes could be." They both laughed at the reference to their previous conversation, despite the tension of the situation. "Come on, Castle. Let's get back to the station so we can discuss what just happened here." She left out the detail that she really wanted to talk to him in private about everything that had been happening over the past week or so, it wouldn't be particularly beneficial to have everyone know the details of their personal relationship as well as their professional one.

"Sorry, Beckett, but I had better get back to the case I'm working with Bates and Campbell. I've left it on the back burner enough today." He didn't exactly look sorry, and it was a cause of great irritation to Kate when people gave her false apologies, as a rule, but when her heart was invested in something as much as it was in this it just made her want to use the gun at her hip for something other than law enforcement.

He had turned to leave when a noise announced itself in the silence that followed his words. As quickly as he had tackled her out of the way of gun fire earlier he spun around bringing his gun back up into a ready position, aimed at the corner closest to the source of the sound. "Show yourself!" Was torn from multiple throats in unison.

A familiar voice called out to them, calm and seemingly undeterred by the knowledge that an entire SWAT unit and a number of NYPD Detectives were waiting just around the corner, prepared to shoot if provoked. "Rick, I think we're going to have to rethink our arrangement."

Castle's eyes widened. "Jess!" Kate suddenly realised why the voice had not brought her comfort despite its familiarity. Right when she had been in a position to get some time with Castle, in private, so they could finally talk on a reasonably level playing field, his girlfriend had to come along and spoil it. He had rounded the corner and Kate followed, still not sure that the shooter wasn't this Saint-Claire, after all, she was in the right place at the right time for that theory to fit. "What are you doing here?"

"I'd like to ask you the same thing." Saint-Claire threw her arms around him and Kate once again had to fight the urge to inflict unquestionable pain. "Where did you get a gun?"

"Detective Campbell loaned it to me for the morning... Seriously, why are you here?" He hadn't returned the hug yet, his arms were still hanging by his side, the gun still in his right hand.

"What would you need a gun for the morning? Why are you even here? This isn't a site listed as being of interest in your father's murder."

"Stop deflecting and answer my... how do you know so much about what's in those files?" Kate could see the sudden change in emotion sweep across his face, it was a mixture or anger and pain. There was definitely a back story to this.

Saint-Clarie took a step back, seeming to finally realise that he wasn't going to embrace her in that moment, like she was him. "A particular person of interest to us both decided that it would be nice for you to meet me here, at a particular time, and they thought it would be better to get me here without actually asking."

Rage filled the lines of Castle's face. "You had your people look at the files, didn't you?"

A similar anger appeared in Saint-Claire's eyes. "What did you expect? You won't talk to me about the case or what it's doing to you. I'm forced to watch from the sidelines as this eats you up inside, breaking you, without even knowing why! That isn't the way I do things, Rick!"

"This isn't your affair, Jess!" His voice had risen and even Kate felt a little sorry for the woman on the receiving end.

"Isn't my affair? The moment you let it affect our relationship you made it my business!"

Castle took a step closer to Saint-Claire and half the SWAT team prepared themselves to pull the two apart if it came to exchanging blows. "What are you talking about? It hasn't affected our relationship!"

Saint-Claire scoffed and the rage in Castle's eyes intensified at the action. "Don't be stupid, Rick! Of course it has! You didn't even call to tell me you weren't coming home last night! After everything I've told you, you _still_ couldn't pry yourself away from that case for five minutes! You don't talk to me about what's bothering you anymore and we've done very little of anything but fight since yesterday! Now you show up at an NYPD bust, with a gun, putting yourself in the line of fire and you couldn't even do me the courtesy of a phone call to let me know. You weren't like this before you got those results, you were actually considerate and acted like you had half a brain! Putting yourself in the firing line isn't exactly what you'd call smart, Rick, especially when you already have someone gunning for you. It's too easy for them to kill you and make it look like you got hit in the line of _someone else's_ duty! You didn't even know the man! You met him once and that meeting consisted of yelling at him and storming off...!" It seemed like she realised a little too late, when hurt and pain drew tears to Castle's eyes, that that wasn't something she wanted to say. "Rick, I'm sorry."

Kate was having trouble deciding whether she'd stop Castle, were he to get into a fist fight with the woman, or join him. Her decision process was interrupted by Castle's reply. His voice was cold and hard. His expression was the same dangerously dead glare as it had been when she had spoken to him in the elevator of his apartment building. She was reminded of how frightening it was to be on the receiving end of that look. A flicker of sympathy sparked inside her for Saint-Claire, but it faded as quickly as it had come. The woman had been asking for it from the moment she called Kate's partner stupid. Okay, so he wasn't her partner at that point in time, he wasn't even shadowing her, but that was going to change if she had any say in the matter. "I'm not stupid." He set his gun to safety and holstered it, seeming to only then realise he was still holding it. "I'm here because this is who I am, Jess. I am a Delta grunt, a planner, and that is what my friends needed... As for the reason behind us fighting, maybe you should look in the mirror. You need to back off, Jess, call off your watch dogs and let me do what I signed on the do... I asked you politely, but I guess I'll have to make it less diplomatic and more clear, leave my father's case alone." He turned to leave but stopped briefly. "Oh, and I'm sorry you were kidnapped, but from what I know of this person it wouldn't have happened if they thought they could get to me directly without the constant FBI surveillance. You might want to think about that."

Kate followed him when he walked back towards the warehouse. She was silent for a moment as she wondered what she should say, what she _could_ say. "Castle..."

He stopped and looked at her. His eyes were still exhibiting the same lack of emotions. "So now you know." His lips tilted up into what was supposed to be smile but instead looked more like a grimace of pain, yet it still didn't touch his eyes.

Swallowing hard in an attempt to push back the fear and uncertainty that look caused her, Kate stepped forward, closing the gap between them. "Actually, I found out last night..." She took his hand in hers and looked him right in the eye, fighting the urge to avoid that expression. "I'm sorry about your father, Castle. I want you to know that I am here for you, whether you want to talk, build theory or someone to distract you from what you're going through."

A flicker of emotion passed through his eyes. She saw pain, anger, fear, determination, gratitude and something she had seen fill his whole being when ever he was around Alexis, it was love. Her heart skipped a beat when she realised that he had just looked at her with love. All the other emotions made perfect sense to her, she had expected them after everything they had been through of late, but love, it was something she had been too afraid to hope for since the last case they had worked through together. She remembered the many occasions over the years that she would catch him looking at her with what she now knew was love when he didn't think she was looking. All those opportunities they had missed, though she wondered if things would have been worse between them had they been together in that way during the case that drove them apart. As it was she was over the moon that she had just seen proof that he could still love her, even if it was buried beneath layers of negative emotions with only a few positives to interject light into the dark. He didn't speak then, but he squeezed her hand and allowed his gaze to soften again.

Taking advantage of the moment they had before the others caught up with them she led him off to the side, behind one of the containers on the outer edge. He followed with only a moment of hesitation. When they were out of sight she spoke again. "I wanted to say this back at the station, in a more private setting, but this will have to do, I guess." She smiled a weak smile, slightly apprehensive of how he would take what she had to say. He nodded for her to continue, still holding the hand she had taken his with. "I wanted to say that I'm really sorry." He gave her a questioning look but she spoke before he could voice his confusion. "Our last case, it got to me, I mean _really_ got to me... I know I told you that I wasn't sleeping because of the paperwork and the theories that kept interrupting my free time, but that was only half the truth... Every time I closed my eyes I relived the moments where Marsh almost killed you, only in the nightmares he succeeded. I couldn't sleep because I knew there was a good chance that I would wake up the next morning to a ringing phone with the Captain on the other end telling me that you were the latest victim..."

Kate had to stop talking for a moment to gather herself together again. He spoke in the silence. "You were really worried, huh?" She nodded, tears threatened to fall and she tried to push the thought of how much of herself she was revealing from her mind. He took her other hand in his and squeezed them both lightly. She dropped her gaze to the ground to hide the moisture in her eyes. Still holding her hand in his he used the knuckle on his right index finger to tilt her chin up so that she was forced to look into his now sparkling blue eyes. "Why didn't you tell me all this at the time? I had no idea it was affecting you like this."

Kate had thought it was clear that she cared about him, whether the extent was as obvious or not was another question, but here he was, telling her that he had been unaware. Memories began to fill her mind and she realised just how much she had shut him out throughout that case. Regret was becoming an all too familiar feeling for her. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have closed down on you. I know that nothing I can say will make everything better and fix everything but if the truth can make it even the least bit easier to forgive me then I'll be happy with that."

He smiled a mirror of her own weak lip tilt. It faded quickly though. Kate felt her hopes begin to crumble. "Thank you for being so honest with me. I just wish I had known when it could have made a real difference." He sighed.

"If it helps at all, I did go by your place a couple of times while you were away from the station... once on the first night you had off, then again while you were in interrogation, which I only found out about after I got back... We were being run ragged with a few cases and didn't get any breaks long enough to sleep let alone visit with anyone, besides it's not exactly polite to wake up someone who has a concussion in the middle of the night for a five minute conversation." She laughed weakly. "Ryan and Esposito took pizza around a few times but our leads had bad timing when it came to breaking through or coming up as dead ends... We never made it past the elevator, except that once when you weren't there."

He opened his mouth to reply but he was cut off before she could hear what he wanted to say. "What is going on here?" Saint-Claire had just rounded the corner and was clearly not happy with the sight before her. Kate felt Castle go still and realised that they were still holding hands and he was still holding her chin.

* * *

**T.B.C...**


	20. Reunited

Chapter 20: Reunited

Rick could hear the familiar footsteps behind him as Beckett followed. He wasn't sure he could face the inevitable lecture about working a family member's case, how you could loose yourself in it and the destructive outcomes, he already knew about that, he was beginning to experience the pull it could have. Part of the reason that Jess' words had angered him so much was that they were true. He had lost himself in this case, he wasn't fooling himself, he knew that he was in trouble, he had only been working the case for a matter of hours, yet it felt like every hour that passed was a year and with every minute his father's murderer was getting further and further out of his grasp. It had only taken one look at the case file for him to become trapped in the labyrinth before him, he could feel its hold on him intensifying with every second he thought about it, he was already in so deep that he couldn't pull himself out. He was angry at himself for having let it go as far as it had, but even more so for failing his father in the only thing he could do for him.

Once they were away from every one else he decided that it was better to get it over with now so that he could focus on finding a murderer when he was back at the station. Before he could do anything, however, she spoke. "Castle..."

'_Here goes nothing_.' He thought to himself as he came to a stop and turned to face her admonition head on. He was struggling to hold back the anger that threatened to overcome him, not wanting to do or say something he might regret, besides she might surprise him by saying something unrelated, she usually surprised him like that. "So now you know." He tried to force a smile, but the unease he saw on her face told him that he had failed miserably. '_Great, another thing I can't do right_.' He berated himself for his continued failure.

As she stepped towards him he had to fight the urge to run in the other direction and at the same time fought the desire to close the gap between them, she didn't like him, that much she had made clear. The memory of the two of them so close together that he could feel her breath on his lips in the interrogation room sprang to mind and he was more confused than he could remember ever having been before. He was struggling with burying all his confusion deep inside of himself, so deep that it would never be able to surface even if he tried to dig it up again when she replied. "Actually, I found out last night..." As if his heart wasn't already playing the part of the rope in a game of 'tug-of-war' she took his hand in hers and he experienced something he couldn't explain. So many emotions flared at that simple contact that he felt each one deeply, yet they all seemed to cancel each other out. He would be on the verge of controlling one and another would push it aside.

In the span of a heartbeat he experienced all the pain she had caused him over the years of them working together, all her put downs, her belittling his intentions, her scathing remarks, her refusal to recognise how much he truly cared for her, the pain of losing his father and having to go through it alone; all the anger her dismissals caused him as well as that at his inability to let her go as completely as he needed to, the anger at himself for having missed his only chance to know his father and for being a huge failure and a constant disappointment to those around him; fear that he would never solve his father's murder, that she would see his pain, that he would lose everyone he loved, that the woman in front of him would again tear his heart from his chest and stop it into the ground; the determination that he would take whatever life threw at him with his head held high and that he would not rest until he had put a certain murderer behind bars or buried him six feet under.

She finished what she was going to say and he felt lighter. "I'm sorry about your father, Castle. I want you to know that I am here for you, whether you want to talk, build theory or someone to distract you from what you're going through." Gratitude replaced his fears and doubts for the moment. He no longer had to face everything entirely alone. He had no intention of taking her up on her offer, it would just be awkward and hurt more if it hadn't been sincere, however unlikely it was for Kate Beckett to make an offer like that to anyone without actually meaning it, but the fact that she had chosen to say it was worth more than he could verbalize at the time. He was reminded of some of the many things he loved about her. She was a straight shooter, didn't beat about the bush, she could be incredibly compassionate but didn't let anyone take advantage of her, she was smart, determined, resilient and she looked after the people around her, even if she 'would be over the moon' once he left for good, she still supported him.

He couldn't deny that he was still crazy about her. Every time he smelled cherries or coffee with vanilla he would think of her and want nothing more than to hurry off the her side. While he was around her the tiniest Kate-erisms, as he liked to call them, would get him lost in memories of days gone by when they could talk for hours, though banter is probably a better word for it. Every time he saw a woman bite her lip he would find himself comparing her to Beckett, whenever Jess did something that he had seen Beckett do, even once, he would come up with a million reasons why Beckett did it better. It was driving him crazy. He had to let her know that he appreciated her, but he was far too aware that anything he said would probably drive her further away that he couldn't even open his mouth to speak to her. So instead he squeezed the hand she had entangled in his and let a little of his feelings show in his eyes.

Before he knew what she was doing she had lead him away to a private corner behind a container. He followed with only a moments hesitation. "I wanted to say this back at the station, in a more private setting, but this will have to do, I guess..." She smiled a weak smile. He nodded for her to continue, if she had taken the initiative to seek privacy with him it was probably something important, so he would listen, even if he didn't like what she had to say. "I wanted to say that I'm really sorry." His confusion must have shown on his face because she was answering his question before he had even voiced it. "Our last case... it got to me, I mean _really_ got to me... I know I told you that I wasn't sleeping because of the paperwork and the theories that kept interrupting my free time, but that was only half of the truth... Every time I closed my eyes I relived the moments where Marsh almost killed you, only in the nightmares he succeeded. I couldn't sleep because I knew there was a good chance that I would wake up the next morning to a ringing phone with the Captain on the other end telling me that you were the latest victim..." The reference to a number of attempts made on his life wasn't lost on him, after the first situation with a poisoned coffee he had bought on his way in to the precinct he had thought that she started becoming a little too protective of him, she wouldn't let him get coffee from that particular franchise again for the remainder of the case. This admission explained a great deal about why she had been so hard on him when he had come in a day or two later, having forgotten in his sleep deprived state, with an already half drunk coffee, clearly marked with the franchise logo.

Okay, so he probably should have been a little more careful, but in his defense no one was dumb enough to try the exact same thing twice, especially when it was obvious that no one in their right mind would go back to a place where they had been poisoned. He was just lucky that the first time around he had only drunk about two mouthfuls before having to leave it to go cold in order to follow a lead, and the second time Beckett had thrown it out the moment she spotted the take away cup in his hand, of course that one hadn't even been poisoned. He had just put it down to over reacting and a chronic lack of sleep, he was alive and fairly healthy, they should have been laughing about it not spreading the panic by focusing of the negatives. He finally found his voice. "You were really worried, huh?" He could see tears forming in her eyes. He took her other hand in his and gave both of them a light squeeze. She dropped her gaze to the ground and he knew she was trying to hide her emotions, he hated it when she did that, just as much as he hated the fact that she was in a position that made her so unhappy. Still holding her hand in his he used the knuckle on his right index finger to tilt her chin up so that she was forced to look into his eyes. "Why didn't you tell me all this at the time? I had no idea it was affecting you like this."

Her voice was tight when she spoke again. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have closed down on you. I know that nothing I can say will make everything better and fix everything but if the truth can make it even the least bit easier to forgive me then I'll be happy with that."

He gave her a weak smile, he fancied it was a mirror image of her own by the feel of it. What there was of the smile dropped from his lips quickly as he realised that what she was telling him was important, but was being offered too late. It would put them back on a footing that promised civility, or at least amicable coexistence, but too much had happened, her words from the week before had stung and more than that she had not only crushed his dreams in a very public setting, but in front of his daughter, a teenager who had admired the Detective. Rick hadn't told Beckett but Alexis had been considering Law Enforcement as a possible career based on what she had seen and heard of Beckett and her team, though if he was honest with himself, no matter how horrible it seemed, he much preferred seeing Alexis spend a few weeks disappointed and disillusioned with someone she had looked up to than the idea of watching her spend the rest of her life in the line of fire and facing the darker side of humanity. That was not the life he had worked so hard to provide for his little girl. "Thank you for being so honest with me. I just wish I had known when it could have made a real difference." He sighed.

"If it helps at all, I did go by your place a couple of times while you were away from the station... once on the first night you had off, then again while you were in interrogation, which I only found out about after I got back... We were being run ragged with a few cases and didn't get any breaks long enough to sleep let alone visit with anyone, besides it's not exactly polite to wake up someone who has a concussion in the middle of the night for a five minute conversation." She laughed weakly. "Ryan and Esposito took pizza around a few times but our leads had bad timing when it came to breaking through or coming up as dead ends... We never made it past the elevator, except that once when you weren't there." He was sure they both were well aware that it was a grasping at straws attempt to reconcile some of the problems they faced.

He opened his mouth to reply but he was cut off before he could say wanted to. "What is going on here?" Jess had just rounded the corner and was clearly not happy with the sight before her. Rick went still and realised that they were still holding onto each other, standing much closer together than two people who could barely be civil for more than two minutes should be. He couldn't help but think that he was going to be doing a lot of quick thinking to get them out of this situation.

"Detective Beckett was offering her condolences for the loss of my father." He decided that his best chance to avoid Jess taking on the role of the scorned lover, which she wasn't because nothing had happened... really, was for him to preoccupy her mind with something much bigger than them. He stepped away from Beckett and walked towards Jess, stopping just in front of her. He spoke softly, so much so that Beckett had to listen carefully to hear what was being said, she knew it was private, but she wasn't willing to have to face Jess with less information than she had to. "Things have become more complicated than either of us thought possible..." The glare she shot in Beckett's direction almost made him laugh. "Not her, whoever it is we're hunting, they know things that no one could know unless they were connected to my team, or have access to the confidential military archives."

"What do you mean?" She had shot another look over his shoulder at Beckett as if making sure she hadn't moved closer to them. "What makes you say that?"

He thought for a moment about what he could tell her and what he couldn't. The lines were a little fuzzy about things like this. "I need to make a couple of calls before I tell you much, but I think you're really going to need to take the surveillance off me... If you're ever going to trust me about anything, trust me now." He gave her a look that conveyed the severity of what he was saying. She nodded and he squeezed her shoulder. "Thanks, you may have just saved a life or two. I need the tail gone, Alexis and mother need to get out of the country, ASAP, if I'm right, our girl might just be willing to take a road trip, but not an overseas flight to get to them." He didn't mention that that would only happen if she didn't remove his tail, mostly because there was a chance she wouldn't and he didn't want to deal with an affronted FBI Agent right then. "I'm also going to need you to start running the name Melissa Santiago, D.O.B. The twenty-first of April, nineteen seventy-eight. I need to know everything you can find on her, also cross reference her photo and prints with everyone on every database you can." With that he turned to Beckett, knowing that it had been difficult for her to have opened up as much as she had and not wanting it to appear that he didn't appreciate it, he indicated for her to follow him. "Come on Beckett, I need a ride, Jess has a lot to do and not much time to do it in."

"Whoa, wait a minute, why am I looking into this woman, who is she, why am I cross referencing her photo and prints and why am I doing that in every data base we have?" She looked at him as though he was going crazy. "That is a lot of cross referencing."

He gave her a sympathetic shrug. "I know it's a lot, but if my hunch is right, not even what information you can get will be enough, but we'll have to make do. I'll let you know what I can as soon as I've verified a few things with my own contacts." He stepped back towards her, momentarily forgetting that they were currently fighting and he kissed her quickly on the side of her mouth. "And don't forget to remove that tail, if they're still there when she tries again you might get more than kidnapped... I don't think anyone wants that." He smiled at her reassuringly before moving away again. "Come on Beckett, I hope you haven't forgotten how to handle that car of yours at high speeds since I left."

* * *

They were in the car and driving towards the road by the time he realised she was asking him a question. "Castle, where are we going?"

"Oh, sorry, Beckett, drive towards central park..." He trailed off as he looked down at his mobile once more, searching his memory for the number. "Uh huh!" He exclaimed as his fingers dashed across the keypad. Before Beckett could ask what he was so excited about he had hit the send button and the phone was answered on the first ring.

"Brown." The familiar voice on the other end of the line made Rick smile, it had been way too long.

"Gorey?" He could hear the sharp intake of air as the other man fought his shock.

"One Hit?" The answering voice was so loud that Rick pulled the phone away from his ear as a reflex and every Beckett jumped in her seat. "Is that you, man?"

"Yeah, it's me." Rick felt almost like he had gone back in time, Gorey's voice was a little rougher, and, had he not known better, he would have sworn the man was smiling by the sounds of his voice. That was when he realised that his phone was set to speaker phone, though he couldn't remember changing it to that setting. "You're on speaker phone and there's someone with me, you know how it goes."

"Yeah, keep my mouth shut about everything but the weather... it hasn't been as long for me as it has for you, it's all still fresh for me... I thought I'd never hear from you again, man. If I didn't read all your books and see you in the paper or on TV every now and then I'd have thought you were dead." The man sounded like he was still in shock.

Rick hated to cut him short before they could really talk about things he would much rather discuss than Melissa, he had to know... and he had to know now. "Listen, Gorey, as much as I wish it were, this isn't a social call." He hear the man exhale as his excitement had been deflated. "I need to organize a meet with you and the rest of the team... It's an emergency."

Gorey's voice became more like he remembered it, cold, humorless and all business. "The past caught up with us, Major?"

"I think it has, Gorey..." He suddenly realised that there was a good chance that whoever was after him wouldn't have gone after his old team mates, but now that he had dragged Gordon into the mix he had effectively made them potential targets, if his attacker thought that his old team had some possibly incriminating information they would undoubtedly take action to prevent Rick from getting it. "I'm sorry, Gorey, I didn't think it through before I made this call, if I had I would never have made this call. I'd understand if you want to get your family out of dodge before even thinking about meeting with me..."

Beckett looked at him briefly in surprise, he didn't think that she had thought about the possibility of this putting his old contacts in the line of fire, then again he hadn't told her anything much so she wouldn't have had time to think about it. He was briefly aware of just how alone he was in all of this when his friend spoke up again. "My family is as out of dodge as they're going to be, Christine is staying with her sister while they get the new baby settled in, Patrick is off serving in Afghanistan and Kim's at college... so I'll get you some numbers and we can meet at my place in about an hour."

Rick was stunned. "You're pulling my leg... there's no way Kimmy's old enough to be in college, Pat's not in Afghanistan and Chrissy's sister can't have a baby."

"You've been out of the picture for a while, Rick, she was never going to wait forever, no matter what she told you back in the day." Both men laughed so hard their sides hurt.

"That's not what I was thinking, but you're totally right, I feel had." This was followed by another chorus of laughter. He hadn't realised how much he missed his old team, they were his family, it had taken him years to adapt to not seeing them everyday, but only seconds to remember how good it felt to be one of them. "I though she wasn't going to have a family, she always said she wanted to be a career woman and that kids would only get in the way."

"Is that why you never moved beyond the embarrassing flirting?"

"Nah, man, it was because I was sure that one day Chrissy would see sense and leave you for me."

"Hey, that's my wife you're talking about... on second thoughts, maybe you have a point... she always did find an excuse to leave me stranded with her father so she could talk to you at the Christmas parties." Rick felt the blood rush to his cheeks as he remembered that Beckett was sitting right next to him, he stole a quick glance in her direction and wasn't surprised to see her listening intently. They laughed again, both knowing that when Christine had said ''till death do us part' with Gordon she had meant it whole heartedly, and from what Rick remembered he wouldn't be surprised to find that she still did.

"Now back to Pat and Kimmy... I'd have thought you'd cut off your right arm before letting Pat sign up or Kimmy move more than a few blocks away from you."

"I tried threatening that, I think they picked up a few tips on stubborn rule bending from you while you were here... Kimmy reminded me daily that I'd be solely responsible for ruining her life if I didn't let her go and Pat, well, I had a few years to get used to the idea before the time actually came."

"What do you mean?" He could sense a sadness in his old friend's tone that told him there was more to the story.

"He spent most of his time playing soldiers with his friends when he was little, watching war movies, studying every war America's been involved in since the revolution, particularly tactics and weapons, and..."

"And what, Gordon?"

"And he used to go to sleep every night clutching that picture of everyone when we got back from our last assignment... you know the one."

Rick felt his mouth go dry and a large lump form in his throat. "Yeah..." He chocked past it. How could he forget? He had spent years looking at that same picture when Alexis had been asleep and Meredith wasn't looking over his shoulder complaining about how he wasn't paying enough attention to their family and his mind was always on playing soldiers with his friends and about how much she didn't like his friends because they always looked down on her, so they would never be welcome in her home. He almost laughed a humorless laugh at how right they had been. His friends hadn't liked her, but they treated her like one of the group for his sake, after all she was going to be the mother of his child. The problem was that she didn't like the tough love of soldiers and their families, it was a very equal society, rank meant nothing outside of the uniform and that included social ranking, and Meredith always had to be adored, or at least think that she was. That just wasn't going to happen with them, so she convinced herself that they were rude and uninviting towards her. "I know the one."

"Are you okay, One Hit? You sound like you just got off the phone with your mother before deployment." He laughed at the absurdity that Gorey would remember what he sounded like on those occasions, though now that he thought about it, he did. He never had liked saying his goodbyes over the phone, he had always wanted to say it in person, just in case he didn't come back, but her schedule and his rarely coincided. "I'll get those numbers for you."

The line went quite while Gorey left in search of his address book. Beckett didn't wait long before asking what he had suspected she would. "So you were pretty close, huh?"

This time a humorless laugh did escape his lips. "Closer... Gorey dragged me under cover after a grenade knocked me out cold in Desert Storm... he saved my skin more than once in that campaign." He smiled a sad smile at the memories. "He was the best may at my first wedding."

"And he was your family away from home...?" He looked her in the eye as they waited for the light to change back to green.

"They all were... they were more my family than my own mother at times... when you face the things we saw daily, did the things we did without a second thought, you depend on each other to keep yourselves alive and sane... He was the first one of us to have kids. I remember it felt like it was my baby being born in that hospital room, each of felt the same. Pat and Kimmy had more godfathers than anyone else I've ever heard of."

"Why did you leave? Why haven't you kept in touch with them?" She was curious, it was who she was, he couldn't fault her for that, it was just something he didn't feel like explaining just then.

"It's complicated..." Before she could press him for more information Gorey was back on the phone.

"Got them." He then proceeded to provide the numbers for every one who served as a member of their team while Rick had been in it. Rick wrote each one down and checked to make sure they were correct. "I'll see you at my place in about an hour, then?"

"Can we meet at Calverton National Cemetery instead?"

There was a moments silence before Gorey replied. "You still go there, don't you?" Silence followed that comment as Rick thought of how he could best answer that. "I'll bet you visit her every year, like clock work... We did for the first five, every morning of the anniversary we'd be there to lay down a bouquet of white lilies, but I'd bet you never stopped..." Rick swallowed back the lumps that was painfully working its way up his throat.

"If we don't leave in the next hour we won't get there before it closes." Even he knew that his voice was weaker than usual, quieter and less certain.

"It wasn't your fault, Rick... You did everything you could." His voice was soft and reassuring but the last thing Rick wanted right then was someone lying to him to make him feel better.

"So you've said... about a thousand times. Look, Gorey, I'm a big boy and it's not exactly difficult to figure out that I could have done more, that I should have done more."

As with many times before Gordon recognised that he wasn't in any mood t be convinced so he backed down. "Sure thing, Rick, we can meet there. It'll be good to pay her a visit again. But just know that none of us blame you, and I'm pretty sure she doesn't either."

He hung up before Rick could reply. He couldn't hold his comment inside any longer so he half whispered it, having completely forgotten once again that Beckett was sitting right next to him. "Yeah... but I do." He hung his head in shame for a moment, willing away the memories of days huddled in a small cave waiting for evac., laughing as they shared stories of home and of growing up in differing family situations, then streaming black hair, followed by blood, lots of blood. He was so caught up in his thoughts that he didn't even notice the worried looks Beckett shot him as she made her way towards the cemetery he had named.

Pulling himself together Rick dialed the next number. He did this for each of the numbers in their turn. Each of his old comrades had been excited to hear from him again and wanted to talk but he was more distant than he had been during the first phone call. He organized to meet them all at the cemetery and continued to fend off the attempts at consoling him regarding his guilt. He was uncomfortable with how much they all seemed to want to convince him that he wasn't to blame, partly because he knew what he knew and no one else seemed to understand, but mostly because Beckett was listening the whole time. He didn't want to relive that day, especially not on the anniversary. It was far too fresh, it always would be, while ever he was alive his guilt would be too.

* * *

**T.B.C...**


	21. Explanations

On the way to the cemetery Rick stopped by a small florist. He bought a single red rose and a trimming of black ribbon. He did this every year but Alexis was usually at a friend's birthday slumber party so he hadn't had to explain that it was an old tradition they had had when the woman he visited annually was alive. Kate studied his purchases but didn't comment. When they were back on the road she spoke softly, as though he were a wild animal, likely to flee at the slightest provocation. "Who was she?" He looked questioningly at her in silence. She met his eyes very briefly before turning back to the traffic. "The woman we're going to visit. Who was she?"

_Rick wasn't made for inactivity. Sitting around and twiddling his thumbs awaiting evacuation had always driven him loopy. The only saving grace of the situation was that he wasn't alone anymore. He had been given multiple assignments that required him to provide sniper support for someone who, to all intents and purposes, was an assassin. She was very good at her job. As the sniper support he had been in a position to watch her work. He had to admit that she was perhaps the most deadly woman he had ever come across. That was half of the attraction, he guessed._

_The other half wasn't so much guess work as common sense. She was smart and beautiful. Long black hair, a slender frame that was as agile as a cat, graceful as a stream after a light drizzle and as easy on the eyes as he imagined a goddess would be were definite pluses. It was no wonder she was so good at her job. No man alive would be able to say no to her. He couldn't. He had tried but all argument had been brushed aside when her soft lips met his one night in a cave after their second mission together. With her to accompany him he didn't mind the wait on evacuation that often took anywhere between three hours to a week._

_They had been in a secret relationship a short time before word reached him that she was to be transferred out of his unit. So he had made himself move on. As part of his contract he spent a certain amount of time each year studying for his degree on campus, the rest was done by correspondence when he wasn't on assignment. That had been when he met Kyra. The problem with that plan was that he had fallen in love only to find that his partner wasn't being transferred any more. He had been true to Kyra, addressing the issue with his partner and agreeing that they would just be friends. They would have gotten back together when his relationship with Kyra fell apart but she was seeing someone else, she didn't tell him who but he suspected one of his other teammates. That had been where Meredith and, through her, Alexis came into the picture. Even after all these years he could still see her face, as plain as day, when he told her about his unborn baby. It tore his heart out seeing it then, and it still did. She had been crushed. It wasn't until he was asked to give her eulogy that he learned her relationship had also crashed and burned soon after his own._

Realising that he had drifted into his own thoughts without answering her question, and there was no good reason to keep the truth from her. He sighed deeply, finally forced to allow his past and present to converge. "Melissa Santiago."

Kate was understandably surprised. "The woman you're having Saint-Claire check up on?"

He nodded. "The one and the same."

"_Who_ is she? Not just her name."

"She was my partner." At the confused look on Kate's face Rick explained further. "She wasn't really my partner, not _technically_. Women aren't allowed in combat, but if they're part of an organization that doesn't exist then they aren't there, not as far as the bureaucracy is concerned any way... Mel was part of a sub branch of the CIA. She was the one they sent in when they couldn't negotiate."

"What, do you mean? Like an expert in coercion?" Kate was undeniably interested in this turn of events.

"I suppose you could call it coercion... though only if you assume she was to coerce them into no longer breathing." Kate looked lost for a moment. Rick longed for the days when he could have been so blissfully unaware of the true lengths to which people were willing to go for politics. Then he realised exactly what he had just revealed. There was no avoiding it now. She would put together the fact that Melissa was an assassin and he was her partner, exposing his own actions to some extent. The damage was already done, he rationalized. As long as he avoided giving her too much information and any specifics everything would be fine, except that she would probably never look at him the same way again. "We all had our own specialties, hers was getting in close to the men, close and alone. She would remove the threat they were deemed to posed to peace. She was remarkably skilled..."

"And what were you skilled at?" Kate realised that she had probably just asked the worst possible question but he was about to explain his role in it all when they pulled into the cemetery grounds. From then all conversation was lost as he gave her directions and then climbed out of the car. "Where is everyone?" Kate asked as she looked around the field seeing that they were alone.

"They'll be here soon... Wait for me here by the tree." He indicated the large oak. "Stay in clear sight of me at all times. Keep your eyes peeled, let me know if you see a woman with long black hair and do not let anyone get within five feet of you. If someone insists on getting closer I want you to scream, I don't care how pathetic it sounds, just do it, especially if it's a woman. If you see anyone hanging around, not grieving at one grave I want you to come over and let me know without alerting them."

"I'm not a little child, Castle. I _can_ take care of myself."

"I know you're not a child, but considering who we're dealing with I'm not about to risk your life on the off chance that they have forgotten everything they spent their adult lives perfecting." He was stern but Kate noted the slight softening to his eyes when they made eye contact. "I don't want to see you get killed." Kate nodded her head, no words would come to her in the moment she witnessed the extent of his feelings for her as love flooded his eyes.

With her non-verbal acceptance of his reasoning Rick turned and walked slowly towards a small, black marble head stone. In gold the words '_In Loving Memory Of Melissa __V__í__bora__ Santiago Beloved Daughter, Sister And Friend. 4. 21. 1978 – 2. 27. 1993 Lest We Forget_' appeared. Rick hung his head as he approached the grave site. His hands moved of their own accord, tying the black ribbon around the rose stem. He got down on one knee, as he did every year, only this time making sure that he was facing Kate, and spoke as if he was talking to someone sitting a few feet away. "Hey, Mel. I brought you this." He lowered the rose with its ribbon onto the headstone. He took a moment to think. "I remember how I would leave one of these on your bunk whenever we got back from a mission..." He laughed a little as tears began to trail down his cheeks at the memories that were now enveloping him. "I think it started when I returned from my first mission without you since we were paired up. It was my way of telling you I was home because I couldn't leave a card. I tied the ribbon from my lapel to the stem. I put it in that ridiculously tattered copy of 'The Phantom of the Opera.' How many copies of the original French text did you go through, again...? It must have been hundreds with how often you read it. Pages were falling out of the copy we found on your bed side table, they were all dog eared and warn... I still have that one on my nightstand. I read it when I can't write, when all I can remember is the blood we spilled." He released a short, sarcastic laugh.

"The only way to forget the past is to remember ours. Isn't that a cruel fate...? Not as cruel as having no future, but I like to think that you live on, even in death... that I keep you alive in my memories. I guess it helps to think like that because the alternative is to admit that I failed you. I let you die. After seventeen years it's still too fresh, too painful." He sighed and took a few moments to breath. "I wish you were here, Mel. You'd know what to do. Some thing's going on. I don't know exactly what it is, or why it's happening... I'm scared. For the first time in a long time I'm truly scared. I haven't felt quite like this since that day in Kosovo..." He let his head hang in shame so that his chin was resting on his chest. "You were so eager to do the job... I should have put my foot down. I knew it was too hot... But you got it done, didn't you. You always got the job done. I should have realised you wouldn't take my advice to wait. I should have prepared better. Maybe if I had pushed for a whole team op you would have made it back, even if it meant just bringing your body home." He rested his hand on the ground in front of the headstone. "I hate that I couldn't even do that for you. When I close my eyes at night it still plays in front of me. I watch you die, I see my bullet hit its mark a second too late." His head bowed further in shame. "If only I had been quicker, less focused on keeping our presence unknown... My stupid sense of propriety cost you your life!" His head flew up in self aimed rage. "Your sister couldn't even say goodbye because of me." His voice dropped to a whisper. "I couldn't even say goodbye." The occasional tears that had streaked his face increased to a steady flow. "I hope you can forgive me, Mel, because I never will." He had barely managed to choke out the words before he completely broke down. His body rumbled under him and he clutched the headstone to keep himself from tumbling to the ground.

Kate leaned against the tree. This was the first moment she had to herself without work interrupting since finding out about Castle's past. She used the opportunity to think about everything that had happened. There was a slight chill to the air as a cold breeze passed by. Pulling her light coat tighter around her she caught a few words from Castle. He was talking and by the wavering strength of his voice she was pretty sure he was fighting back tears. She turned to look at him. He was on one knee and his head was bowed. Never before had she seen him look so down. The sight tugged at her heart. Out of curiosity and a desire to understand what he was going through she listened carefully, catching what she could of his one sided conversation.

He said something about 'The Phantom of the Opera' and a book. There was mention of his nightstand and reading it when he couldn't write, then he said something about forgetting the blood they spilled. It was hard for her to reconcile the Castle she knew with the man she had seen the past few days and the thought of him killing someone was a bitter pill for her to swallow. She had always thought of him as happy but the revelations since her outburst showed her that he had just as much, if not more, baggage and weight on his shoulders. He was fighting his own demons, and she couldn't help him through it. Realising she had allowed herself to lose her focus on his words she increased her concentration. He said something about wishing she was there and being afraid. Kate almost lost it then, wanting nothing more than to run to him. The word Kosovo caught her interest and stopped her in her tracks. He was talking about a job they had done. By the sounds of it she had died on that mission. Kate's heart dropped to her stomach as she heard the pain in his voice and learned that he hadn't been able to bring her body home. The depth of guilt she saw fill him was all she could take. When he clutched at the headstone as his only support she found herself moving towards him.

She was stopped suddenly by a hand gripping her arm. A male voice sounded from beside her. "Leave him be for a moment. Trust me."

Kate turned to see a tall muscular man. He was clean shaven with short cut blond hair and were he not looking at Castle with a softness she had only seen between men whose bonds were forged in adversity he would have been intimidating. "Who are you?" She asked despite her almost certainty that this was the man Castle had called Gorey.

He smiled at her, his smile had a very similar mischievous hint to that of Castle's. Something in that grin made her want to trust him. "I'm Gordan 'Gorey' Brown." He offered his hand to her. "I served with Rick."

Kate shook his hand eagerly, completely forgetting that she was supposed to alert Castle if anyone had gotten within five feet of her. "I'm-"

He cut her off, his grin widening. "Detective Katherine Beckett of the NYPD. I know. We like to do our homework before meeting anyone."

"We?" Her cop instincts were beginning to take over again.

"Don't worry, Detective. We don't mean you any harm. We're just here as a favor to the Major over there." He indicated Rick.

Felling only slightly more at ease she stepped away from him as subtly as she could but he laughed anyway. He didn't say anything, though it was clear what he was chuckling about. Deciding to change the subject she asked what was at the forefront of her mind. "Why did you stop me?"

He looked at her a moment and then sighed before leaning against the tree next to her. "If you tried to comfort him he'd have closed down on you." She looked into his eyes and saw real pain for his comrade. "We tried for a few months to convince him it wasn't his fault. That was before he cut us out of his life completely. Right up until he got back from his honeymoon we did everything we could to get him to stop blaming himself, only to watch him slowly shut down on us..." The man's head bowed at the memories. "He trusts you, you wouldn't be here if he didn't. I know that I'll sleep better at night knowing that he thinks he can turn to someone when things come crashing down."

"Why does he blame himself?"

It took a moment of thought for him to decide to tell her. "He was her backup." He made eye contact with her and she knew he was trying to impress the significance of what he was saying on her. "We all went in but Mel wanted it to be just the two of them. It was his last mission. He'd told us that Meredith was pregnant the day before... I think she was trying to say goodbye in her own way. Or maybe just holding onto him the only way she knew how..."

"Holding onto him?" Something about his sad tone told her that there was more to that statement than a partner's reluctance to say goodbye. His sigh confirmed it.

"Mel and Rick had always been more than partners. She was head over heals in love with him, would have died to protect him, and I'm pretty sure the feeling was mutual." He smiled. "The two were almost inseparable, until everything fell apart... Rick spent a term on campus,, like he did every year, and he met a woman named Kyra Blaine. Mel was heart broken so she found someone else, to get back at Rick more than anything... It's complicated but the short of it is that they had some of the worst timing in the universe. That's not what's important though, the thing is that any fool could see that they were perfect for each other."

Kate couldn't help but draw a few comparisons to her own relationship with the man they were discussing. They had horrible timing, their only major fight in a year had coincided with his meeting another woman, which also happened to be when she realised just how much she wanted to be the only woman in his life, romantically speaking. Everyone that saw the two together, except his girlfriend, said that they were meant to be together. She had started dating men to get back at him a few times when he would find himself in a relationship, though she hadn't understood her motivation until recently. And she was certain that they were willing to take a bullet for each other.

He pushed the conversation along. "Whatever her reasons, she convinced him to leave us about a mile out, ready to come in and help if things got out of hand." He shifted his position. "Rick's never missed a shot, not unless he did it intentionally... That day was no exception, the only difference was that this time his bullet struck a second too late... You see, there were more guards than our intelligence suggested, but Mel wanted to go in anyway, that was just who she was. Her target hadn't even hit the ground before a hidden guard broke cover and delivered payback of his own... One bullet to the chest... Later intelligence was that not even the target knew the hidden guard was there. Rick couldn't have done anything about it. His reaction couldn't have been better. Video surveillance of the room confirmed that there was no way for Mel or Rick to have affected the outcome, it was amazing enough that they got the job done before they were made and that Rick made it out at all was a miracle."

Kate was about to speak when a very familiar voice came from behind the tree they were leaning on. "Intelligence also said that there would be minimal security and his rooms were unguarded, except video surveillance that was rarely monitored. Don't always believe what you hear." Castle's voice was hollow and raspy, had she not seen it Kate would have known that he had been crying by the sound of his voice alone. "Beckett, I think I recall saying something about you screaming if someone approached you."

"I would have but-"

"But you didn't take my warning seriously. It's okay, I get it. Why should the cop listen to the author?" She tried to protest but he had already turned to his old team mate. "Now, Gorey, why don't you call every one in so we can get this little party started?" At the smile on Gorey's face Rick allowed his own grin to creep through. He had missed his old friend whether anyone believed him or not. Instead of trying to convince him through words Rick pulled his comrade into a tight hug to which Gorey responded eagerly. Both men laughed as they pulled apart and saw the surprise on Kate's face. Rick had gone from a reproachful tone to hugging someone in a matter of seconds. "Seriously though, I want to see everyone as soon as possible... I can't have you all in one suburb without taking command, we'll have riots before we know it." Their laughter got louder and Gorey turned to indicate an old church in the yard.

"We're all in there, well, everyone that could make it." With that Rick placed his hand on the small of Kate's back and lead them towards the building. After a moment's surprise Kate just smiled to herself, not wanting to point out his obviously unconscious move because she was certain that he would remove his hand immediately and she was content to enjoy the contact. Besides, she liked the warmth it caused to spread through her whole body against the chill in the air. So she bit her bottom lip to keep from showing any obvious reaction that might alert him to the location of his right hand.

* * *

TBC...

A/N: I hope you enjoy this chapter. If some of it is a little repetative let me know, that's the only way I will learn.

Also, I just wanted to appologise for how long it took to get this chapter up. It was ready yesterday but my computer wouldn't let me access any site connected to . It was really strange. Also, I rewrote this at least twice. I swear that it was otal garbage the first time around. It may still be bad but you couldn't imagine how terrible it was before, I have the band Train to thank for the massive improvement of this, I was listening to their song 'Brick by Brick' which helped me realise that I needed to delete half of this chapter and write another 500 words.


	22. When I'm Feeling Sad

Chapter 22

**_When I'm Feeling Sad_**

* * *

Back at the 12th Precinct, Castle slouched in his chair. The untouched coffee Beckett had made for him having gone cold long ago. Images flashed behind his eyes. Memories of nights spent under the stars when not even the cold could have hurt him, holiday camping trips in remote woods that would go on for weeks, just him and Mel. As his heart began to knit itself back together his mind assaulted him with things he had fought to forget long ago. Her dazzling smile and bewitching laugh replaced by screams and flying bullets. Even the words on the page in front of him formed pictures of a past he couldn't escape, the words flowing red as the blood he had spilled.

Knowing that Beckett, Campbell and Bates were watching him closely, obviously aware of his tumultuous thoughts, had driven him to abandon the bull pen in favour of an empty conference room. He had hoped it would allow him to concentrate and ponder the things he was reading in his father's journal, but so far it was proving no more peaceful than a circus tent during a big performance.

The revelations of the meeting with his old team mates had filled his mind with doubts. He began second guessing everything. Word had reached Chester, their tech and Intel guy, of a woman matching Mel's description fleeing a village not far from the complex where she'd been shot, a few months after the mission. Around that same time a series of mysterious deaths began to plague that area, ending abruptly on Christmas Eve a year after they began. The MO matched Mel's perfectly, except that Mel got her targets and took her orders from the CIA; the only connection between these victims was that they were all involved in illegal arms exports and people trafficking. It sounded a lot like the work of a vigilante. This information gave him a general idea of how far back to look, but his heart broke wide open again at the thought of the possibility. On the one hand, it would mean that Mel was alive, that he could finally be free of his guilt, at least some of it, and maybe even be reunited with her. On the other, all the evidence said it was Mel, nothing but her death had indicated her innocence. If she was alive, if he found her, he would have to choose between killing the woman who he hated himself for letting die, or letting a serial killer, a cold hearted murderer go free, most likely at the cost of his own life. Heartsick at the very thought, he called Jess, longing to close the distance that had grown between them, needing both his dear friend and the one woman he had in his life that he knew would love him and tell him things would be alright, bringing some comfort to the tatters of his heart.

Three rings in, he heard a welcome sound, her voice. "Saint-Claire."

"Hey, Jess. It's Rick." He was tired and couldn't hide it any longer.

"Rick!" Her tone more pleasant that it had been for more than a day. "I was beginning to think you'd forgotten about me."

He laughed, it was easy but worn as he thought about how much he just wanted to curl up next to her and fall asleep, not waking for a few years. "Trust me, Jess, there's no forgetting you." He fought against his eyes as they tried to close themselves. "I'm about to call it a day and thought I should warn you so you don't accidentally shoot me when you get home, thinking I'm some intruder."

"Are you at the station?" She asked. "Can I pick you up? I was about to knock off, anyway."

"Sure, you might just save me from walking into a pole or something. My eyes are so tired I can't see straight anymore." He smiled as he thought back on the night before last, when he had last slept, arms wrapped around the very woman he was speaking to. _'She may not be Kate Beckett, but she's perfect in her own way.'_ He thought. He mentally slapped himself for comparing them again. He knew he needed to stop doing that but for some reason it was a lot harder than it should have been. "I'll see you when you get here. Love you."

"Love you too." With that they hung up and he began to pack away the files and journals he had been referencing. Working both cases at once wasn't as hard as he thought. To a point it was easy to keep them separate in his head, and remembering the details was hardly challenging. What caused them to overlap for him was that he was right in the middle of both; the two cases had come to define his life, even his relationship with Jess was rushed forward by one. The way people looked at him, the things they now knew about him had also been changed. He didn't like it but neither could he change it.

* * *

Beckett stood from her desk intending to go home. She hadn't slept well for a while. Castle had been a regular visitor to her dreams, which more often than not became nightmares ending in his death. Now that she knew more about what was happening in his life she at least had a chance to help, not to mention her confidence in his ability to protect himself having sky-rocketed after watching him in action that morning. She was still a little disturbed by what she had learned of him. Especially after having discovered the origins of Gorey's nickname, his speciality being sending messages to hardened terrorists and drug lords through gruesome assassination scenes; the way Rick's brothers in arms deferred to him and respectfully, almost fearfully, avoided discussing his work frightened her more than a little. Having come to the realisation that Richard Castle was an undeniably deadly force in his own right, his ability to shut out all emotion and act solely as a machine suddenly fit him perfectly. However, that didn't make it any easier to reconcile the fun-loving Castle she had come to know and love with the highly trained soldier she had seen that day. She couldn't even bring herself to think the words that truly described him. A killing machine. That would create too many questions, too many horrifying thoughts. How many lives had he taken in the name of liberty or justice? Would he do it again? How could _she_ not have known?

As she approached the elevator she saw him sitting alone in the conference room. His files and books packed away into his shoulder bag, he was looking off into the distance. Distracted as he was, the dark circles under his eyes had become more pronounced and his exhaustion no longer hid behind a mask of invulnerability. It wasn't hard to understand why. Learning that someone you loved dearly and had mourned for over sixteen years, living with guilt you couldn't let go, wasn't really dead would be enough to shake anyone. The fact that he had reason to believe this woman was now trying to kill him certainly wouldn't make it any better.

Kate pushed aside the feeling that warned that intruding on his thoughts wasn't a good idea and entered the room. He looked up at her as she pulled over a chair and sat beside him. "Hey," he said with a tired smile as though they'd never fought. It was clear that he was struggling to stay awake.

"Hey, yourself." She smiled back at him. "You don't look so good there, cowboy." It dawned on her then that as much as she'd had trouble sleeping it must have been impossible for him. "When was the last time you slept?"

"The other night," He lifted his hand from his chin where it had been supporting his head. "I got about an hour's sleep before coming in." His jaw dropped back into his palm. "Don't tell Jess, but I probably wouldn't have even bothered going to bed if she hadn't dragged me." The reference to his spending the night with Jess created an awkward silence for both of them. It lasted maybe a minute. "Point is, not in a while." He continued. "What about you? You've been a bit on the tired side for a while. Having trouble getting your boyfriend to leave you alone long enough?" Her surprise and displeasure at the comment referencing a non-existent boyfriend, which he knew perfectly well, must have shown on her face because he hurried to add, "Sorry, just having a bit of fun." She nodded tightly in acceptance, unwilling to make an issue of it. "But seriously, what's keeping you up? Anything I can do? I have this awesome CD of ocean sounds, say the word and I'll happily loan it to you."

"If it doesn't work for you, why would it work for me?" She was trying to make it sound playful but really she wanted to know what he thought the difference was in their sleeping troubles.

"Honestly?" He was being more sincere with her than he had been in a while, probably because of how tired they both were. "My problem is the nightmares… the ones that don't end when I wake up." They held eye contact for a moment as she absorbed the depths of what he was telling her. His life was the nightmare, as Gorey had said, 'the past come back to haunt us…' "I was kind of hoping _one_ of us was having _normal_ sleep troubles."

It was risky to push him when he was like this, few people knew that as well as Kate, but she also knew there wouldn't be another opportunity like it. "Tell me yours and I'll tell mine." He was clearly taken off guard by the openness and gave her a questioning look. "Seriously. Why not?"

Castle shrugged and began to talk slowly, waiting for a hint that she would change her mind. "Usually it's just a flash of memory, something I'd tried to forget. Sometimes it's a particularly hard mission, that's usually while I sleep… I remember all their faces, every one… Then I see her… Mel." He said by way of explanation, as though there could be any doubt to whom he was referring. "She had this way of lighting up a room. It didn't matter what was happening, the world just seemed like a better place with her in it… I've never forgotten her smile. When I see it, even though I know I'm imagining it, I can't help but smile…" His shoulders slumped further; Kate hadn't thought it was possible. "Then comes the blood..." He swallowed back hard. "And the gun shot… and her screams." He looked away, towards the table. After a moment's silence he looked back at her. He was surprised to find sadness in her eyes instead of pity, like it was her own nightmare, not his.

When she saw the surprise register on his face she realised that she had been revealing more than she meant to. Taking the silence that followed as his signal for her to take her turn she began. "Mine start as a new case. We show up to a scene." She emphasised her words with a meaningful meeting of their eyes. "There I am, talking to Lanie, getting some details, the boys are talking to witnesses and for some reason you don't show. You won't even answer my calls..."She couldn't look at him as she continued; it made what she was saying too real. "Then I look under the sheet to see the body and I can't breath, I can't even cry… All I can do is stand there and stare. Because…" They both knew at that point, she was seeing it all over again. "…because it's you lying there." Their eyes met and tears had welled up in hers and she now matched Rick in the puffy eye department. "Sometimes you're covered in blood, other times there's no sign of trauma, almost as if you're asleep."

By the time she had cleared most of her tears and swallowed the lump in her throat he was watching her intently as if trying to figure her out. He was about to say something when the door opened and Jessica Saint-Claire stepped in. "Are you ready, Rick?" He stood with a fleeting, sorrowful look to Beckett and immediately wrapped his arms around Jess. He kissed her gently before simply holding her close. Saint-Claire seemed surprised by the reception but just held him.

As Kate watched her heart broke all over again. It was in a vice and he was turning the handle, crushing the hope out of her. She knew he was sending her a message, one she knew he wasn't happy to send. He was silently saying, 'I'm with Jess now.' She looked away, unable to face what was in front of her, clear as day. His hand was suddenly on her shoulder, squeezing gently as he smiled sadly at her said something else. 'Thank you.' He had given her an olive branch, letting her know that he cared and that he wasn't gone yet, he just wasn't hers.

* * *

A/N:

Guess what? I'm BACK! Okay, so it's been long enough that I'm not even going to try to think about when I last updated, but the point is, here's another chapter. ^-^ So, it's not the most exciting chapter, you're probably thinking it's a bit of a let down, and considering the wait, I'd probably agree with you. But ignoring all that, there was some casketty goodness, just like I'd promised.

Come on, tell me honestly, you've missed me right? Even a little bit? ;) R&R Pretty Please.

Disclaimer: As always, I own nothing, don't intend to make any money off of this and I'm certainly not claiming any credit for the epic-ness that is Castle. (Yes, I did just make up another word, that's why you love me.)


	23. A Day For Rest

**A Day For Rest**

* * *

Morning came and went. Shielded by the arms of a woman who loved him, Rick slept in peaceful oblivion. Jess, on the other hand, had been awake for hours. She had crawled out of bed at one point to call her supervisor. He needed to know she was taking a personal day. The past week had been torturous for Rick and had strained their relationship. Her boss hadn't liked the idea of giving her the day but when she reminded him that their entire case relied on their ability to appear deeply in love, and it was hard to pretend to love someone you couldn't be in the same room with without fighting, he had conceded the point quickly. When Rick stirred she went back to him and he settled down the instant she pulled him to her. After that she hadn't left his bed, unwilling to leave him to the nightmares she knew were raging inside his head whenever he was alone.

When the digital clock showed 12:37 Rick's breathing shifted. It was almost as if he was awake, but his eyes didn't open and he didn't move to get up. Seeing him sleep, his face peaceful, a slight up-tilt to his lips made her smile, she could, for a moment, believe that they were just another couple, spending the day in bed together. Ignoring the tugging at the back of her mind, reminding her of all those things they had a lot to do before they could be one of those couples; she bent her head down and kissed him lightly on the lips.

Jess yelped loudly as her mouth was unexpectedly seized by Rick's. Lost in the sudden depth of his kiss she didn't notice him shift over her, pinning her between the mattress and his firm body. He was smiling when he released her from the kiss. Sucking on his lower lip as though he had just tasted something very sweet, he spoke, "Good morning." Before she could reply he was kissing her again. This time his lips trailed from her mouth along her jaw and to her neck.

It took a great deal of effort for her to focus her thoughts enough to reply without letting on how much he was effecting her. "Good morning to you too." She tilted her head, allowing him greater access to her neck. "My, aren't we in a good mood?"

He increased the intensity of his kisses, focussing on the curve where her neck met her shoulder. "And why shouldn't I be?" He looked up to meet her eyes. "After all, how often do I wake up to a woman who looks like you?" He kissed her lips again. "Or tastes like you?" He kissed her just under her jaw then held his head over hers, his weight leaning on his hands. Looking into her eyes he gave her a quick kiss on her forehead. "Have I ever told you that I love you?"

Unable to look away from his startling blue eyes she felt her heart flutter at the sincerity of his confession. This was no formality, nor was it intended for the ears of anyone but her. She knew he meant it. Unable to think of the words to express the depths of her feelings she took his lips in a bruising kiss. "You may have to remind me." She breathed into his ear as her hand slid under his shirt, across his stomach to his muscular back.

Sitting on the couch by the bookshelf, Jess watched as Rick worked. He had insisted on getting some writing done while he could, once they left the loft his career would be the last thing on his mind. _'Besides,'_ Jess reasoned to herself, _'the sooner he's finished with Nikki Heat, the sooner he can stop thinking of that Beckett woman while writing of a burning romance between characters that were uncomfortably close to their real life counterparts.'_ The skin around his eyes suddenly grew tight. She was not a jealous person by nature, nor did she have any doubts about Rick's loyalty, but that didn't mean she had to trust the Detective. Something was off about her. Everyone seemed to like Beckett, not just as their colleague or superior, but as a person, a cold person couldn't gain that sort of admiration from so many people who saw her daily. Yet, every time they had crossed paths there had been a very distinct chill in the air. Jess hadn't seen Beckett smile once, though the tilt to her lips said she did, and often. The rumours of a relationship between Rick and Beckett hadn't escaped her notice and they would explain the Detective's apparent need to seek him out. It wasn't lost on Jess that every time she sought him out when around the NYPD he was with Beckett, and they were alone.

"Jess," He looked over at her, his mind clearly whirling, quickly processing something she hadn't noticed. "Did you get any hits in your search yesterday for Melissa Santiago? Around Christmas fourteen years ago, more precisely?"

She thought for a moment. "Yes, actually… Her photo matched a woman who came in from Berane, Montenegro, just east of the Kosovo boarder. She went by the name Yves Kelly, a US citizen. I tried tracking her record but couldn't find anything on Kelly. I have a friend in IT working to find anything else on her."

He nodded as though something had just been confirmed for him. "Don't waste the favour." He stood then and walked over to her. "It was a burn identity… Just like kidnappers and the like use a burn phone, Mel was adept at falsifying identities that existed for the few hours she needed them to, then they were gone." He held out his hands to her. "Come on, I'll make pancakes." She took his offered hands with a smile as he pulled her up. Instead of stepping back to give her room to stand he pulled her to him and planted a firm kiss to her lips. Her eyes closed and she let herself get lost in the contact. His hands held her against him and stopped her from falling back, despite her attempt to draw him down onto the couch.

Irritation filled her vibrant green eyes as their moment was interrupted by the ringing of her phone. It was Harrison; she could see the caller ID from where she was. For a moment she was determined to pretend she couldn't hear it. Rick pulled away then and laughed as he left her alone in the study. Growling sullenly to herself she answered it. "This had better be good."

He laughed. "Am I interrupting something?"

Jess knew he wasn't expecting her to admit it even if he was, but she really wanted to impress on him just how unhappy she was, so instead of hiding it she decided to go with her life's motto, 'honesty's the best policy'. "Yes, actually, you are. For once you guessed that right." His silence was all the answer she needed to know that her attempt to make him uncomfortable had worked. "But never mind that, Rick wanted to make pancakes anyway."

Clearly over his awkwardness he responded in kind. "At four in the afternoon? I must have been interrupting something very juicy." It was her turn to be caught off guard. He ploughed on anyway. "Sorry to cut it short on you, Jess, but you have to get to the office ASAP. The 'boss man' wants to see you. He doesn't care if you're taking a personal or not, he said you have to be here in half an hour."

Jess swore; she was on the other side of town. "Stall for me."

"How long do you need?" He was definitely amused, which did not make her happier.

"As long as I can get." She hung up before he could reply.

"Yo, Beckett! Have you seen Castle?" Bates called out from the elevator door as she exited the observation room.

She looked up from her file, her attention effectively caught. "I thought he was with you and Campbell. Weren't you searching Carter's campaign offices?" She redirected her steps towards Bates.

"He never showed. I figured he'd be there first, given the vic.'s his… you know." He looked a little sheepish. "So, you haven't heard from him, then?"

Kate threw a quick glance around what she could see of the Precinct, hoping that he would walk around a corner. "No, have you tried calling him?"

Bates' tone was more than a little sarcastic as he responded. "No, I just asked you because the two of you are so joined at the hip." He seemed to realise he bit back a little hard. "Sorry, I just got out of a meeting with Grey and his lawyers... Castle's cell is off and there's no answer at his loft."

Beckett looked at her watch. She was headed out to meet Will soon; he had some info on Saint-Claire and her case he thought she'd want to see. They were supposed to meet just a few blocks from Castle's. She had plenty of time. "I'll check in on him, see if I can't find out what's up."

"Thanks, Beckett." With that Bates closed his cell and entered the elevator. "Let me know what you find out, will you? I've got a feeling he's gonna need friends backing him up, whatever he's gotten himself into."

Castle's apartment building was quiet, even more so than usual. As Kate exited the elevator it occurred to her that she hadn't thought through her door approach, a major flaw considering the likelihood of running into a certain 'Special Agent Saint-Claire'. That was ignoring the unpredictability of Castle's reception of her lately. She didn't know if he would welcome her or try to get rid of her. Taking in a deep breath she raised her hand and knocked on the door.

A familiar voice sounded from somewhere in the loft. "I told you, you'd be back. No one resists Richard Castle!" He was laughing when he opened the door. That stopped immediately and was replaced by a very red face when he saw who stood on the other side. "Beckett!"

His eyes were so wide she was half surprised they hadn't fallen out of his head. That expression was so unexpected that she couldn't help but smile, holding back her laughter was the best she could do. Finding the setup too perfect she responded without thought. "Can't they?" An eyebrow rose. "We'll see." His jaw dropped a little. "Oh, come on, Castle. You didn't seriously think you could pull a no show and not answer your phone without having one of us come looking for you, did you?" She stepped past him, into his apartment. The smell of fresh coffee and hot pancakes pervaded the air. From the doorway she saw the stack of pancakes on the kitchen island. Noting the second coffee cup next to them she looked around the loft to see where the other occupant was.

Rick saw her face fall slightly as she saw the coffee cups and when she scanned the apartment he knew exactly who she was looking for. "You want a pancake? They're still warm." He led her into the kitchen. Without waiting for her response he plated up two pancakes and placed them in front where she was standing. "Syrup?"

"Please." She nodded. "Thanks." Her eyes continued to scan the corridors.

"She's at work." He grabbed a spare mug from the cupboard and began to poor a fresh cup of coffee.

"Who?" Nothing about what he'd said left her wondering who he was referring to but she didn't want to admit straight out who she was looking for.

"Jess… she's at work." Rick handed her the coffee.

"Oh, of course… Thanks." She indicated the drink he'd given her. He nodded in acknowledgment. There was a moment's silence as they both thought about what to say. "Why weren't you with Campbell and Bates for the search this morning?" It seemed like a harmless enough question.

He hesitated, not sure of the effect his answer would have. "Jess and I decided it'd be better if we took the day off." When her only response was to look at him, silently, he decided to put it as delicately as possible. "We had a lot to catch up on."

"Ah." She put the coffee down, no longer finding its taste as pleasing as it had been seconds before.

Rick wanted to talk to her about their relationship. He was about to say something when it dawned on him that he had probably been misinterpreting everything. Beckett was more than likely just trying to salvage their friendship and he was taking it as her putting the moves on him. He shook his head imperceptibly at the thought of him seeing what he wanted to see, even though he shouldn't want it, where there really wasn't anything at all.

"So, you two are getting serious, huh?" She tried to sound as nonchalant about it as possible. "Is that wise? You've only known each other a few weeks."

He thought about where that could have come from before responding. "Maybe, but she already knows me better than anyone, except maybe my mother." Her expression told him she didn't quite understand, in fact, she looked almost offended. "There's a large part of my life that's been hidden for so long I never even dreamed I'd be able to talk about it with anyone. I spent my life pretending a part of me didn't exist… Then, suddenly, I found this wonderful, loving woman, who also understands what I went through. Sure, she wasn't on the front lines, but she saw the cost of war. I can tell Jess things I could never tell anyone else."

Kate bridled at that. "And why can't you tell me, exactly?" She stood up straighter. "I think I've proven myself pretty trustworthy."

"You are! You'd just…" He cut himself off, sighing. "Never mind. Forget I said anything."

"No," She wouldn't let him push her away; she had done it to her fair share of people and knew the signs. "I'd 'just' what?" He didn't answer. "I'd _what_, Rick?"

"You wouldn't believe me!" He dropped the pancake he'd been about to eat back on his plate. Now neither of them had their appetites. "And even if you did..." He continued since the dam was broken anyway. "To you, I'd look like one of those scum-bags you throw in a cell almost daily." He couldn't bring himself to make eye contact. "You already look at me differently. I'm not blind, I see it."

Amazed that he thought those things it took time for her mind to wrap around what he'd said. "You're nothing like them. You're not a monster." She reached across the bench and rested a hand on his arm.

"You wouldn't say that if you knew what I did… what I'd still be doing if it hadn't been for Alexis." He met her gaze. "I killed people, Kate. Shot them down from over a hundred meters away, they didn't see it coming. They couldn't have defended themselves if they'd tried… More than that, I… tortured people… did things to them that no one even dares write about in reports. So many people went 'missing' back then, but really they were sitting in front of me… or others like me." Her look of horror made him second guess what he was telling her, but he didn't want to tell her half the truth and have her deceive herself into thinking he was better than he was. "It wasn't just a once off thing. I was good at what I did, and I had a lot of practice."

"You're a good man, who fought for his country and what he believed in. I may not like your methods but I know you only did what you thought you had to. I'd never doubt that." He gave her a half hearted smile. It was obvious he had no intention of replying. She waited a moment anyway, an exchange as heavy as that deserved some silent acknowledgment. "Anyway, I just wanted to check on you, make sure everything's okay… Is it?"

"It's better than it was last night." This time his smile touched his eyes. "Thank you, for that, by the way. I know it wasn't easy, telling me those things."

"No, it wasn't." She let her own smile meet his. "But it wasn't easy for you either." She took a bite out of her pancake, her appetite coming back. "Now, are you going to tell me about your case with Saint-Claire or do I have to keep guessing from the tid-bits I overhear?"

His smile faded a little. "I'm sorry, Beckett. Without Jess' say so, my hands are tied." A familiar expression lighted his eyes. "But I can't very well stop you from over hearing the occasional conversation when you happen to be helping on Carter's case."

The significance wasn't lost on Kate. He had outright, publically chastised Saint-Claire for poking her nose into that case, and here he was openly inviting her to help. Warmth grew in her chest and her smile doubled. "That sounds-"

Castle didn't get to hear how that sounded because Jess walked into the room at that moment. "Detective… I didn't expect to see you here." There was an unmistakable question in her tone.

Rick stepped in happily, kissing Jess on the cheek. "Beckett stopped by to check on me. I forgot to let the Precinct know I wasn't coming in today."

"Ah, how thoughtful." She smiled; it didn't come as easily as she'd wanted them to believe, and no one was fooled by it.

Kate knew when it was time to bow out, at least temporarily; it wouldn't help her reconciliation with Castle if she got into a fight with his girlfriend and got herself banned from his home for the sake of peace. "Just looking out for a friend." She swallowed the last of her coffee. "Sorry to eat and run, Castle, but I've got a meeting in a few minutes." At his questioning look she elaborated, thrilled that he had taken an interest in her activities again. "You remember Will? He's helping me with a case I'm looking into for a friend… It was nice to see you again Special Agent Saint-Claire." It didn't take a genius to see she was lying.

"You too, Detective, but it's Supervisory Special Agent, now." A smirk touched her lips as Kate's face froze.

Rick was so busy being happy for Jess that he didn't even notice Kate's reaction. "That's wonderful, Jess!" Once again he took her lips in a kiss, this time drawing her in with his joy more than their mutual need for closeness. He pulled away but still held her in his arms. "Congratulations. It's about time they gave you the rank to go with your job." The couple were smiling at each other like a pair of teenagers; it made Kate sick to watch, but not for the usual reasons.

"Yes, congratulations, Saint-Claire. It's a big promotion." When her words had effectively reminded them that she was there Rick returned his hands to his pockets ducked his head briefly. He had no problem with public affection, in fact, he welcomed it. The problem for him was when the audience included Beckett. Jess frowned slightly at his response. Suspicion that she had misjudged his loyalty to the Detective began to nag at her. He hadn't refrained from holding her and kissing her in front of Shaw, or her partner, on the street or in private, but for some reason Beckett's presence seemed to make him ashamed of their relationship. Before she could think of a way to address the issue, or even test her theory Beckett spoke again. "You must have worked hard for that… Like I said, I'd better be off. Congratulations again. I'll see you tomorrow, Castle." She smiled at them, and left. _'Will had better have something good. I need to end this, now.'_

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_**A/N**:_

Thanks to everyone who reviewed (or will review) the last chapter. I know it doesn't seem like a lot happened here, but I think you won't mind so much by the end.

Also, I'm teaching my sister a bit of French, I don't know why but she's started asking me, 'How do you say (this) in French?' and stuff like that. Basically we're working through my entire French vocabulary. Point is, it occurred to me today, I barely passed my French exams. Is that sad or what? :)


	24. Parler

**A/N:** _So, I finally gave up on finding my old files and while I was waiting for my mum to get out of surgery the block seems to have eased. You tell me if it was just wishful thinking. You all know how... review. Also, as incentive for you to review, I'm going to let you in on a secret. When I lost my old files, I lost many of the details of how this ends, the basic plot is still going to be the same, but if you leave a review, or PM me with something you'd like to see happen, or something you'd like a character to do, maybe I'll put it in. Even if you don't have any ideas you really want to see on here, let me know if you liked it, or what you didn't is often just as helpful._

**Disclaimer:** Own nothing... obviously except my original characters. Every 'Castle' fan out there knows who they are, and I'm pretty sure it's only 'Castle' fans reading this.

* * *

Parler

Cool wind rushed around Rick as he sat in the darkness. Jess would have freaked out if she knew where he was, but she wouldn't unless he told her, no one would. Central Park wasn't exactly the safest place at the best of times, but sitting on a bench by the lake, late at night, alone, was asking for trouble. Not that he cared.

Rick was there out of desperation. Though, desperate for what, he had no idea. Frustrated with the lack of progress in either case that day, he had barely gotten an hour's sleep before the nightmares returned; worse than before. One of them was new, different in that it combined those that plagued him of late with one he hadn't had for a while, adding an element he didn't want to consider.

_Rick was searching the loft for his TV remote; Jess kept moving it and was at work so she couldn't tell him where to. The bedroom door opened. Mel stepped out wearing only his blue shirt, her hair mussed as it often had been on their joint weekends away. _

_She sauntered up to him, pressed her lips to his and kissed him with the same passion she always had. Drawn in by her warmth, he followed her to the bedroom where he fell onto the bed. She quickly began working her way through his belt and the fastening on his trousers._

_Lost in the moment he didn't notice that anything was amiss until a sharp blade was pressed against his collar-bone. It was already sticky with someone else's blood. Just then the closet door swung open and Kate's body feel to the floor at the foot of his bed, blood pooling around her._

_He felt the knife sink into his chest, but it barely hurt compared to the pain of knowing that Kate had died because of him._

Instinct kicked in as something shifted. He wasn't alone anymore. "So you're finally making your move." The wind carried the scent of her perfume to him, 'lily of the valley'. He breathed it in deeply. "I've been waiting for you."

"I had to be sure I was the only one you were waiting for." He moved to turn towards her voice. "Stop! Don't… Don't turn around. Stay where you are."

"Can't I at least see your face again, before I die?" He raised his hands above his head to show her that they were empty.

"You will. But not yet… I just want to talk." She sounded as drained as he felt. "It's been so long since we talked." She chuckled lightly. "You can lower your hands. I know as well as anyone they're as dangerous up there as they are in your pockets or around my throat. Besides, I know you're unarmed."

He lowered his hands to his side. "I've missed you, Mel… I've missed us."

"I know, Rick. I assumed that's why you're sitting out here waiting to die." Her voice became gentle, almost tender. "Why did everything have to become so complicated?" He heard her move closer then felt her arms wrap themselves around his waist as she hugged him from behind, resting her head between his shoulder blades.

He leaned his head around to rest it gently against the top of hers. "I don't know, but every day I wish it hadn't." She took his hand in hers and kissed it softly. Tears sprang to his eyes. "Please, just tell me why."

"Because, if I don't do this, they will, and they'll leave a trail of collateral damage to rival panama… There are more links than you can see… I won't let them hurt Martha, or Alexis. And I will keep them away from Kate and… _Jess_." She laughed to herself. "Really, Rick? Jessica Saint-Claire? She isn't right for you."

It was his turn to chuckle, though he failed to disguise how hard it was for him to keep from crying. "Jealous?"

"Definitely, but not of her, of Kate Beckett." She allowed him to absorb what she had said. "Don't waste your time fighting for second place. You deserve better. That's not me anymore; I've had to accept that. But I've been watching more than just you, Rick. Listen to me, just like old times. Don't make her live her life with the same regret we have."

He kissed her hand just as a voice called out from somewhere down the path. "Castle! Where are you?" It was Beckett.

Mel whispered in his ear before kissing the side of his mouth and leaving. "I love you… It's time you forgave yourself."

He spun around but she was gone. "Mel!" Nothing. "Mel, I'm sorry!" Beckett stepped around the bend to join him but he paid her no attention. "Do you hear me? I'm sorry!" This time he let the tears fall.

Realising that Rick had been talking to a murder suspect, one that also happened to be after him, Kate drew her weapon and began to scan the area for signs of the woman's location. "Where is she?... Castle, where is she?!"

"Gone," His heart wrenched apart again by one word. "She's gone."

"Gone?! What do you mean, 'gone'?!" Kate grabbed him by the arm and swung him around to face her. "She's trying to kill you! How could you just let her come and go like that? What are you even doing out here? Are you trying to get yourself killed?!" It was then that she noticed the tears streaming down his worn face. Without thinking, she pulled him to her and wrapped her arms tightly around him. His head fell to her shoulder and he cried.

There was no telling how long they stood there, holding each other. When Rick's tears dried and he was so exhausted that she had to help him stay upright, Kate lead him back to her car. As she ignited the engine a thought occurred to her. "Where's Saint-Claire? I doubt she knows you spent half the night in Central Park."

"So do I." He continued looking at his feet. "She's at work. Apparently they got some big break in the case."

"Which you doubt is legit?"

"If it was, Mel wouldn't have been with me in the park. She would have been covering her tracks."

After a moment's consideration Kate asked him, "If I take you home, will Saint-Claire be there?"

Startled by the question he was slow in replying. "Ah, no... She'll probably be at work until morning and even then I asked for the day to myself… I told her I was swamped with Carter's case. She's going home to her place tonight."

"So, you're on your own?" He nodded, and she came to a decision. "Okay, let's get you home."

Upon arriving at his loft Kate walked him inside and immediately directed him to his bedroom. "Get something to wear tomorrow and some pyjamas." When he didn't move she handed him an empty duffle bag she had carried up from the car. "Now, Castle."

"Is this police abduction?" He got to work packing the bag with his overnight necessities but her lack of response didn't stop him questioning her. "Where are you taking me? Why can't I just stay here?"

It wasn't until they were in the car, pulling up outside her apartment building that she replied. "You clearly can't be trusted to keep an eye on yourself, so I'm going to have to do it. You'll be spending tonight at my place, the same goes for every night Saint-Claire won't be with you."

"Beckett, I don't think that's such a good idea." His protest was short lived.

"Get out of the car, and up those stairs, Castle." She already had his stuff under her arm and was closing her door behind her.

It was not the first time he had been in her apartment, but it was the first time he was there solely because she wanted him to be. It was a strange flashback to when he had argued just to sleep on her couch while a serial killer had been stalking her. 'How things have changed,' he mused to himself.

Rick yipped in surprise when his pillow hit the side of his head. "What was that for?" She just laughed at him. "I think I was safer in Central Park."

"Oh, come on, Castle. I doubt that pillow's going to stab you repeatedly and dump your body under the overpass." He couldn't remember her having left the room but she held up for inspection a tin of coffee and a bottle of 2005 Châteauxneuf du pape. "It's hardly vintage, but I've been told it does the trick."

He took the bottle from her and began working the cork. "And what trick might that be?"

She winked at him. "It'll get you drunk if you down enough." She grabbed two glasses from the kitchen counter and joined him on the sofa. "Something tells me you need to be a little drunk right now."

"What gave it away?" His laugh was more sarcastic than he had intended. "I'm sorry, Beckett… I do appreciate that you're just being nice, trying to help, but I don't think I can handle nice at the moment."

"Oh, I see." It didn't take long for a bitter taste to find its way into her mouth. "And we can only be nice to each other when you feel like it, huh? Well, let me tell you something, Rick." She stood. "I didn't bring you over here so we could play at nice. I brought you here because I'm your friend, I'm your partner! Whatever else is going on, your life is in danger! I'm not about to let you carry that on your own!... I care about you, Rick, even if you won't see it." With that she turned away and walked into her bedroom, leaving a dumbfounded Castle in her wake.

Kate had only been sitting on her bed long enough to cry a few of the tears she had felt building up since she saw him in the park, when a knock on the door drew her back to what was happening around her. "Just give me a minute, Castle."

He hadn't even waited for her to finish her sentence before he opened the door and walked in. "Kate, look at me." Horrified by his presence, in her room, while she was crying, she desperately began wiping at her cheeks, her back still to the door. It was pointless; he had seen her hands shoot up and knew what she was doing. He quickened his pace, bringing himself around in front of her, his hands catching hers. "Kate, you're crying."

Beckett's attempt to laugh ended up as a great big sob that lead into more of the same. Knowing that he was the reason she was hurting, Rick sat beside her on the bed and pulled her to him, her resistance giving way as soon as it had started. Soon, she was holding him close, her fists balled up in his shirt. He pressed his lips to the top of her head and left them there as long as they stayed like that.

When her breathing began to steady he allowed himself to speak. "I'm so sorry, Kate. I wasn't thinking." He kissed her forehead. "I shouldn't have said any of that… I should have just said thank you." He pulled her face up to look her in the eye. "Thank you, Kate."

She gave him a weak smile then stood. Without a word she grabbed a pillow and a blanket from the bed and carried them to the couch, when she returned she had his pillow in her hands. "You're sleeping in here tonight."

"And what, you'll take the couch? I don't think so, Beckett. It's your apartment, and even if it wasn't, you'd be using the bed."

"It's that or we sleep in here together. I doubt that _Special Agent Saint-Claire_ would be too happy about that." His face was so comical she had to laugh, just a little. "It's simply a tactical decision. If someone wants to get in here, they have to go through the front door or the fire escape at the lounge room window, if they do that; they'll also have to get through me. If you take the couch, on the other hand; all they have to do is get into the apartment… Besides, I'm not entirely sure you won't try to sneak out when you think I'm asleep, hoping for another reunion. I have no idea why she didn't kill you earlier, but I'm not about to let you give her another chance." The worried look on his face told her everything she needed to know. "Don't worry, I'm not going to pry, if it was me, I would probably do the same thing. But, I am warning you, if you do anything like that again, I will be telling your girlfriend. Not to mention the extra work load you'd be putting on me. Isn't it enough I have to watch your back all day? Don't make me take up permanent residence on your tail. Some of us need sleep, you know."

As she turned to leave, his pillow once again flew at his head, only this time he caught it. "Kate," Her head popped back around the door frame. "Thank you." She gave him a smile.

"Thank me by living through this." And then she left, her voice carrying one last instruction for the night. "And don't tell Saint-Claire you were here, she's suspicious enough already.


	25. Good Things

**A/N:** Not the most progressive chapter ever, but at least it's up. This chapter is mostly just a set up for the next one, assuming that when I write the next one it will go where I plan for it to go. Don't laugh, actually... do. You'd be surprised how often I'll have a chapter planned and then watch it go somewhere else entirely by itself.

**DISCLAIMER:** I own nothing more than I did last time.

* * *

The day had started well for Rick. He had woken up in the bed of an amazing woman, the fact that she hadn't been in there with him was only a slight smear on the night when considered with the fact that she had basically forced him into it. 'Besides,' he told himself. 'It wouldn't exactly be a good idea to sleep with Kate, Jess would kill us both.'

Another brilliant point of his morning was that when he had awoken it had been to find bacon and eggs being served onto two plates and fresh coffee in the pot, all tied in nicely by a still pyjama adorned Katherine Beckett. When asked about her clothing she reminded him that he had been sleeping in her bed, which, by an odd coincidence, happened to be in her bedroom. Not that he had needed any reminding of the fact, but it felt good to begin a new day with the back and forth he loved between them.

Once at the station, his luck hadn't changed. He had been given permission to search his father's house, again, and as a result had found a hidden panic room, installed completely off the grid. In the room was a cot, bookshelf, desk, small filing cabinet, restroom annex, and a bar fridge. It was like an entire apartment squeezed into the room. He couldn't understand how they had hidden such a large room. The cot looked well used, the bar fridge was mostly stocked, there seemed to only be a few items missing, there was nothing that seemed pertinent to the case in the cabinet and the desk was almost as unhelpful. Rick did find a key, to what he hadn't known until searching the bookshelf. It had been a shock to find that the entire shelf was filled with his entire works. Not just his best sellers, but his near flops, even his high school newspaper articles were collected in folders. Hanging beside the shelf was a large framed photograph of Rick at one of his book launch parties, Alexis on one arm and his mother on the other. He examined the exquisite frame closely. When it swung outward to reveal a hidden safe he called Beckett in from the hall. If they found anything incriminating he would need a witness to verify that he had not planted it.

His excitement was barely contained as Rick struck pay dirt. Inside the safe was a collection of papers. Several of those papers were financial documents from Carter's latest campaign. A stack of letters between Carter and Martha sat to the side. Amidst it all was an unopened envelope. It was addressed to Rick. Kate had CSU examine and catalogue everything from the safe, including the letter before she allowed Castle to read it, though she had to have Bates get a warrant for the other letters, which would take a couple of hours. Neither of them expected the letter to say what it did, the detail gave them everything they would need. Unable to contain his excitement he fist pumped the air. "Beckett, I could kiss you right now!" He was so preoccupied with his good luck that he didn't even notice her freeze on the spot. "Oh, forget the 'could'!" He grabbed her by the shoulders and planted a firm kiss on the edge of her mouth before bouncing out of the room. "I have to get back to the station!"

It had barely taken half an hour for them to pick up the affidavits for the various warrants they needed. Campbell had already typed them up when they arrived and with Rick's connections it wasn't hard to find a judge willing to sign them. From there the afternoon was spent pouring through the mountains of records they had subpoenaed. They were so close to nailing the guy that Rick could taste victory.

Knowing how important it was to catch Carter's murderer as quickly as possible no one disturbed Rick's work until the clock hit eight. Kate knew he hadn't eaten since breakfast and was almost certain that he wouldn't eat until someone made him, even if that wasn't until dinner the next day. She had been there herself, many times, and it had always been Rick who pulled her back enough to keep her going. Having ordered Chinese food for the two of them, she set it out in a conference room where he wouldn't be able to see or hear anything related to the case. She then took him by the hand and led him to his chair. When he tried to protest she simply said. "After dinner."

At first they ate quietly; then, when he realised how hungry he had been, he thanked her for the food and her company. He talked about what he knew of his father, what his mother had eventually told him and his impression of the man on the occasion they had met. Kate told him about some of her fondest memories with her parents. From there they returned to their trademark banter and easy conversation. For a time he forgot there was even a case to work. Before they knew it they were laughing and leaning in towards each other, so closely that they were almost touching.

Then Jess walked in. Neither of them noticed until she cleared her throat. "I take it you won't want dinner when we get home." Her tone was icy. When they looked back at each other in confusion about the harshness in her voice they realised, with a start, just how close they were to each other. Regretfully they pulled away. "Come on, Rick, let's get you home and in bed. You must be exhausted. What with how restless your sleep is when I'm not with you."

Knowing that he had had the best sleep of his adult life the night before and that her comment had been an intentional barb at Beckett, Rick decided to ease the situation a bit. "I am a little tired; we've had a big day." He turned to Beckett then. "Thanks, Kate. I don't know where I'd be without your help today."

Castle had known it was a risky move. Standing up for Kate like that was inviting trouble for them both. While having women fight over him was always a little fun, he had made it abundantly clear that he was not the cheating type. Jess' persistent jealousy and spite towards Kate had begun to grate on him. Kate had made no effort to hide her dislike of Jess, but neither had she treated her with anything but respect, never saying anything spiteful for spitefulness' sake. Rick knew it hurt Kate to hear the things Jess seemed determined to have her hear. Judging by the expression Jess was now wearing his move was not lost on her, and she wasn't happy.

Driving the point home he rested his hand on Kate's shoulder and gave a squeeze. "Until tomorrow, Detective." Then he turned around and walked out of the room.

As Jess moved to follow him Kate stopped her. "Saint-Claire, a moment, please." Jess stopped but made no move to sit down. So Kate stood. "You have a choice to make."

"Is this the part where you try to scare me into leaving Rick because you want him for yourself? I know what you're trying to do, Beckett, and it won't work."

Kate's smile was as sly as it had ever been. "If you can honestly say that you love him, and are willing to give him your whole heart, then I won't stand in your way. I want Castle to be happy, and if that means with you, then fine. But that's the problem." Jess stood still, unsure of where this was going. "I don't believe that to be the case."

"What would you know about it?"

Kate's smile broadened. "I have two words for you. Will Sorenson… Good enough for you?" Jess' face fell. "Castle is my partner and friend. I will not stand by and watch him get hurt. You know where I stand. The next move is yours." With that, Kate walked out of the room, leaving Jess aghast.


End file.
